(Closed) Where does MOG get ready?

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 2
9146 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

climbergirl:  My MIL got ready in her own hotel room and then drove to the ceremony/reception site.  I don’t think you or your FI are obligated to ask her to get ready with you.  She may want to drop in and say “hi” while you’re getting ready but generally the MOG gets ready off-site and then shows up.  She may also choose to get ready with her friends.  Who knows?  It’s not really your worry unless she asks anyway.

Post # 3
1613 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I would just assume she’ll get ready like the other guests: in a hotel room if she’s staying in one, or at home if the wedding is local.  I doubt she’ll be offended if she’s not asked to get ready with anyone.  That’s really only a big deal for the bridal party.  

At least that’s what I thought.  I wouldn’t have even thought about it if I were you.

Post # 4
7918 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

My MIL got ready with us. If her daughter is a bridesmaid, I wouldn’t doubt that she expects to join you.

Post # 6
45536 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

climbergirl:  I would encourage the two of you to give some thought to how this will make the FMIL feel- being all by herself. Can FI’s Dad not get ready with his wife? He could join FI and his groomsmen after he has driven FMIL to the ceremony venue.

Post # 8
1165 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

climbergirl:  While I haven’t had my wedding yet, the plan is that my FMIL and FFIL will get ready at their house, along with my FI, and then my parents, and I will get ready at my house. I won’t see my in-laws until I’m at church. We won’t take pictures of the parents with both my FI and I until after the ceremony (but I will take pictures with my parents, and my FI with his parents at our respective household earlier that day)

Post # 9
8586 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

FMIL will be with us girls, getting ready. I’m also paying for her hair/makeup.

Post # 10
12610 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Has your FMIL even expressed an interest in getting ready with you?  I would have flipped my sh*t if MIL tried to come get ready with me, but that’s an issue for a whole different post.  Gauge how she feels before stressing.  If you indeed think she’ll want to get ready with you, you need to decide how to handle telling her no.  I would enlist your FI in delivering the news, and be firm.

Post # 11
2853 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I think since FMIL has expressed an interest in getting ready with you, the gracious thing to do is invite her.  It will be a gesture that costs you nothing and could pay off in spades in the long run.  If she isn’t your favorite person, leave instructions with you mom and her daughter to keep her busy.  I think you have a great chance to take the high road here.

Post # 12
790 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

climbergirl:  I got ready with my bridesmaids (including DH’s sister) and partially with my mom (she got herself ready in the room she shared with my dad, and the came to help me). My father got ready in the hotel room he was sharing with my mom, DH’s father got ready in the room he was sharing with DH’s step-mom and the MOG got ready with her sister and bestfriend (they were all sharing a room, too). We didn’t have any grandparents at the wedding (deceased). We just figured that she would get ready with whoever she was staying with the night before. And she was so busy getting herself ready, she wouldn’t have had time or space to get ready or hang out with us anyway.

Some girls will probably advise you to be polite and invite her, but my attitude was that I had enough to worry (freak out) about. I didn’t need to make extra accomodations for a grown woman who has lots of friends and family attending the wedding. If she had asked, of course she would have been welcome but my priority had to be DH and I. 

Frankly, if your personalities clash, try to avoid it. You don’t need anything else stressing you out.

Post # 14
3260 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

At home/her hotel.

Post # 15
7871 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

climbergirl:  She gets ready with her husband.

In fact, I think it is unreasonable of your FI to want to get ready with his dad and not his mom. He should either ask both, or neither, in my opinion.

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