(Closed) Where does my dads girlfriend sit if my mom hates her? Thoughts Please

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
46421 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would seat her with your Dad, her parents and friends at their own table. There is no point in trying to get your Mom and Dad to sit at the same table when they are both choosing to still be angry and immature.

Post # 4
Member
4352 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@sdub2bsben:  My parents separated about a week after I got engaged. Neither of them is allowed to bring a date :). But, I’m planning on giving each of them their own table at the reception, with their parents and some of their siblings/relatives. My grandparents have to suck it up and deal though. My mom’s dad is on his 3rd wife, his 2nd is deceased. He will probably sit at the same table as his first wife (my mom’s mom). My dad’s parents are both divorced and remarried and will be sitting at the same table as my dad.

ETA: My parents will sit next to eachother at the ceremony. If they had dates I would seat the dates separately for the ceremony in another row. Ceremonies are short, and those seats are reserved for the closets relatives of the bride and room, which include my parents but not their theoretical dates (which I’m not letting them have because they probably won’t even be officially divorced by the wedding).

Post # 7
Member
46421 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would seat the mom and family of her choice in the front row, and the Dad and his girlfriend in the second row. I can’t imageine that you would dictate who anyone else sits with, so why would you dictate who your Dad sits with?

Post # 8
Member
786 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

My SIL’s parents are pretty much the same way and they just kind of sucked it up for the wedding. They walked her down the aisle together, stood next to each other, etc and didn’t make a scene. You should ask your parents to think of you instead of themselves for just this one day which may mean sitting by each other, interacting with each other etc. That’s what I would do if it were me.

Post # 9
Member
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

i have a similar situation expect mine goes back 30+ years.. my wedding will be the 1st time in that long that my mother and step mother will attend an event. i am having a sweet heart table, so my bridesmaids and groomsmens will be with thier SO, i  plan to put my mother along with Fiance mother at one table along with Maid/Matron of Honor and BM and their SO say thats table 1 ..and my father, step mothers, brother and sisters (all in the bridal party) table 2

 cermony, well they will have to figure it out. like i told them all- this is my day , n ot theirs and they need to be adult enough to act civil in the same room until AFTER the weddings over!

good luck- praying for ya

Post # 10
Member
1212 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Carbon copy situation here – they get along slightly better now but otherwise I dread them mixing, my Mom can be brutal (love her & worship her, but she can be brutal and not think things through sometimes). It doesn’t help that my Dad will have married his Girlfriend the Sunday before my wedding. Good times indeed.

They each get their own table and I’m plunking their close family members at their own tables. FI’s parents will also get their own table with their own peeps at it.

Fiance and I don’t have an adult bridal party, just flower girls and a ring bearer who will all sit with their parents. In lieu of a big head table we’ll ask my brother and SIL to sit with us so that way they don’t have to choose between my parents for which table to sit at. Fiance has no siblings so don’t need to worry about that.

I still have no venue but you better believe this had to get sorted asap before they drove me mad with questions.

 
For ceremony they (Mom) will have to be adults about it. She can sit where she likes but I’m not relegating my Dad’s Girlfriend somewhere else, she and her kids will be in the front row also. It wouldn’t be my choice about the kids but anything else would be ignorant.
 

Post # 11
Member
3773 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

Both of our parents are divorced, but all parents and step parents sat in the front row.  I didn’t want to make one parent feel less impotant and put one behind the other. Maybe see if there is an uncle or grandparent that will escort your mom and can sit with her, it will act like a buffer. If they can’t sit in the same row during the ceremony where they don’t even have to talk, then they need to grow up.

ETA: We let each parent “host” their own table with grandparents from that side and friends they chose to invite.

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