Post # 1
I just need to complain about how difficult it has been to nail down ONE bridesmaid!! When we first started planning our wedding a year ago, we knew we didn’t want a huge bridal party so we decided on having just a maid of honor and a best man.
October of 2010 – I had asked a good friend to be my maid of honor. She was really excited to help me plan the wedding, but then started flaking on me each time I asked her to look at venues with me. By January 2011 I came to find out through Facebook that she had moved and didn’t tell anyone. She didn’t move a couple blocks down, no… she moved to another state!!!! Needless to say that friendship has died a pathetic death and we didn’t even invite her to the wedding.
February 2011 – I asked my cousin to be my maid of honor. We grew up together and were basically inseperable until College. We’ve grown apart in recent years, but when I asked her she was really excited and seemed genuinely touched by the gesture. We’re 29 days away from the wedding and she still hasn’t RSVP’d. In fact every email I sent her regarding the wedding has gone unanswered. Finally, I sent her a text message 2 days ago asking if she was even coming? She responded at 1:30AM saying that she was switching jobs a week before the wedding and wasn’t sure they’d give her the time off. She still hasn’t responded to the text I sent her in response asking when she would find out. So what, you’re going to wait until a week before the wedding to find out if you can get the time off to then book plane tickets and a hotel – all with one week’s notice???
Yesterday – I asked my closest guy friend (whom I should have really asked from day one) to be my Gay of Honor. He’s been waiting for this moment since March when I first told him about my cousin not responding to my messages. I don’t know what I was thinking asking others before him.
Post # 3
I think you’ve been kind of harsh to your other candidates, because both of them seem to have serious real life issues going on that I think it’s unfair to expect them to sidelinefor your wedding. They could have been more upfront about them, though. Still, it’s unfortunate that you’ve had to switch a lot and I hope everything works out for you.
Post # 4
- Wedding: August 2011 - Blossom Heath
Oh wow I am so sorry that you had to go through this. I think that even though they are dealing with their own issues they DEFINITELY should’ve been up front with you. A simple yes I would love the opportunity but BLANK & BLANK are going on with me so I’m not sure I can.
I’m glad that you have a great friend ready and willing to be by your side.
Post # 5
So sorry you had to go through all of that. It’s the reason I decided not to have any Bridesmaids – having a Gay of Honor is pure genius! Love it!
Post # 6
@cirrus:as a bride who has dealt with losing 2 bridesmaids, 1 who lied to me for months, moving is not a “serious life issue” in my eyes. something like a serious illness, death and things of that nature are “serious life issues” These girls should have just been upfront from the beginning and if it wasn’t something they knew from the beginning they should have been honest and told her when they found out.
to the OP I can feel your pain but in the end the people who mean the most and are your real friends will be there for you, keep your head up.
Post # 7
@ENarcy: I agree that they should have said something right away.
Post # 8
@gumby: Im glad you have someone to stand by your side on your special day.
Post # 9
@cirrus – I don’t really think I’ve been harsh on either of the girls. I didn’t pressure them into accepting the role of Maid/Matron of Honor and I didn’t ask them for any help. My friend who I first asked volunteered to help me, but then backed out the day before each time we set something up. We had mutual friends and she stopped talking to each of us. It wasn’t until months later that we came to find out that she moved because she just felt like it. She even posted pictures on Facebook of the going away party she threw that she didn’t invite any of us to. Even now she still doesn’t talk to us. My cousin interviewed for her new job months ago and I know that because she posted about it on Facebook, not because she told me. When she went on the job interview she had known about the wedding and her role as Maid/Matron of Honor for a good 3 months. I haven’t expected anyone to sideline their lives for my wedding, the only thing I’ve expected from day one is what the other bees have mentioned, common courtesy… the decency to say “something came up, sorry, can’t do it” instead of completely cutting off all communication with me.