- 5 years ago
I recently read a comment on a thread that said that anyone younger than 25 was in an immature relationship. Poster was just stating her opinion and probably didn’t mean anything by it, but she did offend a few other bees. I myself am 20, turning 21 in July, so I kinda raised my brow at it, but hey, it’s the Internet.
When I am feeling a little upset, I come here to read threads to see if I can relate to anyone. I don’t know about any other younger bees, but I’ll be reading someone’s post going “Yeah! This is so me!” until OP mentions that they & SO are in their thirties, forties, what have you. Then I say, “Oh.” because it is slightly surprising to be able to relate to someone 10+ years older than you, no?
I also noticed that (typically), when a bee under thirty asks for advice, she is told that she is still young and blah blah blah. Here’s my personal opinion on the whole “you’re too young/you still have time” spiel (TMI warning):
I am 20. I have had problems with my reproductive system since I was about 15. Essentially, birth control pills weren’t working out for me and I decided that my body is fine without them. Because of this, I have had stupidly irregular cycles since then and, last I heard, I am pre-diabetic, have pre-PCOS, and am beginning to show signs of endometriosis (although things could be a lot worse). I also have a 5cm paratubal cyst in my right tube. All of this would explain why I had not turned up pregnant even though SO & I have been having unprotected sex for almost 1.5 years. Yes, I understand the logistics and science behind making a baby (we were not actually trying), but teenager me was under a lot of impressions, and I figured I had been ovulating but nope. Anyway, I can’t even begin to count how many times I have broken down sobbing over the idea that I may be incapable of having my own children. Lots of stuff for someone as young as me to come to terms with, and even think about to begin with.
“What does this have to do anything?” Aha. So you’ve graduated high school. You now need to go to college. Don’t want to go to college? Nonsense, you have to in this economy. You’ve graduated college? Find a job. Landed a sweet job? Cool. Now make good money for a few years. You’re seriously banking now. Marriage would slow you down now. Wait a few more years. Lots of people are getting married in their forties. How’s life? You’re still not married?
Forget about kids at that point. I do realize that the above is either a gross stereotype or a perfect template for some, but for someone blessed with a uterus like mine, it’s unacceptable. The beautiful thing about life is that we are all different and where we end up is all on us and the people we let influence us. My boyfriend is my soulmate. We have been friends since we were 12, and have been dating since my 18th birthday. Do I know for sure that we are going to live happily ever after? I can’t say. But the optimist in me says “Fuck yeah!” And my age shouldn’t measure the validity of my particular judgement. However, I can see why the person that made the comment I mentioned may think so, because there are most definitely people (younger, older, my age) that make choices that I would consider rash and immature.
So if your advice to me is that I am too young to understand: umm, no. I personally understand that my body will not cooperate with a “normal” lifeline, and that marriage is the next logical step in our relationship, because we have graduated from high school, and will be graduating from college next year.
tl;dr: I wanted to make this post to gather bees 25 & under so that we can celebrate our youth! The Bee’s never struck me as a negative place; after all, most of us joined this community to hopefully find someone to relate to, and hopefully someone can relate to this! It always makes me so happy to see bees communicating with each other and providing meaningful advice. For the most part, at least 😉
Feel free to share any stories you may have! I love reading about you guys!