Post # 1
A lot of you know my mom passed away during my pregancy- me and my husband moved from our apartment into her and my stepdad’s house to live so that my stepdad wouldnt have to live alone and to help us all be together to heal with my mom’s unexpectnat death. The house is big, about 2000 sq feet but there are only 3 bedrooms….one bedroom is ours. one is my stepdad’s and the other is my 3 year old nieces;she doesnt live there but its her room when she comes to visit from out of town..She LOVES this room its her “Dora” room (which she always says “granmda made my room”)my mom designed it and made this room for her before she passed away. it is something very sementale to all of us and i wouldnt dream of taking that room away from her for our baby.
me and my husband arent sure where to put the baby when he is born…. Ive always dreamed of making a nursery and its somehting im looking forward to (me and my mom planned to do it together) so i would still like to do it, since it will keep me focused on something happy.
option 1 Do we do the nusery in our room and sleep with the baby (this can cause sleep problems with him not sleeping independently when he is older. plus im afriad me and my hubby will never get any alone time or a good nights sleep)
option 2: put his crib in niece’s room (her room is all decked out in pink walls and dora themed and he’s a BOY, not that it matters when he is so young) but then i wouldnt be able to create a nursry for him, which i am really looking forward to. shallow i know..
option 3: somehow split nieces room (Which is pretty small sized room) to make it more her/his room. but then we would have to take some of teh wall decor down nad change the room somewhat and i dont know if i feel comfrotable doing this bc of my mom/ and how much savannah loves tht room.
if anyone has any other options/suggestions i would love to hear them!
edit: also we plan to redo the basement to make 2 more bedrooms (one for us and one for him) when he becomes a toddler BUT thats NOT an option right now since we do not have extra money to redo the basement right now.
Post # 3
Maybe talk to teh neice about giving her room to the new baby. Ok so it worked with my eldest and his bottles. He gave them to the new baby. But we had to make it a positive for him to want to do that.
Post # 4
I personally would just put him into the Dora room, you said that you plan on adding rooms, so it wouldnt be a forever situation.
Post # 5
I would put him in the Dora room and then you can decorated his room once you guys get a chance to redo the basement.
Post # 6
Do you have another room you can repurpose? Like a mostly-closed in dining room you never use and could redecorate without taking your niece’s room or giving up your desire to decorate?
ETA: I missed your edit. I agree with PPs if you don’t have another room then, just put him in the Dora room and when he’s a toddler and has a room in the basement you’ll get to decorate for him then!
Post # 7
@gatorhailey: no i wish we did though, that would work perfect!
Post # 8
I would make the basement renovation project a priority and put a deadline on it…say: by the time the baby is 1yr old? or 2? And basically put him in the dora room and by the time he’s old enough to realize its pink, you’ll have the basement room to move him to!
Plus (just food for thought), let’s be real: You live there permanetly…she doesn’t. So while I understand that that room is special….you have to do what’s best for your child. Your mother would want all the grandkids to be happy and comfortable.
Also: at some point the dora room will no longer by interesting to the little girl and she may want to give it up to baby OR she might be willing to at least paint it a pale yellow or green so that your son can feel more comfortable in it too. Maybe this in the future?
Post # 9
I’m sure for you taking down the Dora room, isn’t just about hurting your niece, but it’s so fresh to change or get rid of anything that was/is a representation of your Mom.
Most care providers suggest that the baby sleep with you for the first few months, as it lowers the risk of sids, and is just easier all around. For now, I would just plan to keep the baby in with you two, and then revisit the issue when it’s time for the baby to have it’s own space. It will give you some extra time to heal, and maybe by then your thought process will be different.
Plus you don’t need anymore stress during this pregnancy.
Post # 10
when our dd was born we shared a room and it was abs fine. We made half the room our room and half the room her room, my mom and I even painted her side diff. and so we had our bedroom/nursery all in one. I honestly loved it and she had/has no sleep problems at all, I find the sleep problems start when the child is allowed to sleep in your bed all the time from the start. Or like others have said maybe you can share the Dora room until the basement is done. I am having a similiar issue in that once the baby does transition out of his bassinet from our room he will most likely go into his sisters room (which is alll pink and purple) and we will divide the room for the two of them. Good luck with whatever decision you make and again I’m sorry about your mom.
Post # 11
@mwitter80: I agree.
OP, I think it might also be nice for you to decorate a corner of your bedroom as the “nursery” and use that space for at least the first 4-6 months, maybe longer. Most of my friends that have babies under 9-10 months still have them sleep in their rooms. When the baby is a little older, maybe he can move into the Dora room and it can be for both of them, especially with some gender neutral additions (I like the photo TurtleDoves: posted). The long-term plan could be to recreate the Dora room in the basement (or give niece the option to chose a new room theme) and give your son that room.
Post # 12
@mwitter80: i think you hit the nail on the head, its so much more then just a room to everyone and it does represent my mom plus i love how mcuh my niece loves that room and how she talks about it/ and how my mom made it for her.
Ive been really leaning towards doing the nursery in our room, that way he can be with us and we can decorate his nursery still and i dont have to change savannahs room.
@mssweets: you give me hope that it can work! how long did your daughter room with you guys? were you nad your hubby still abvle to get a decent nights sleep? (me and the hubs plan to take turns doing nights with our LO)
Post # 13
I think definitely put the baby in your room for the first few months. Once the baby is older, maybe you could think about moving him into your niece’s room, but I wouldn’t change the decor. He’s not going to know that there’s Dora on the walls, but your 3 year old niece will notice if you change it. Poor thing has gone through enough change losing her mom.
I would also definitely second the notion to put the basement renovation on the front burner and do whatever you can to get that project going.
Post # 14
It makes sense to me that you can change the Dora room into the baby’s room if your dream is to have a nursery. I am sure that your Mom would have loved for you to change it into a baby boy’s room….or at least a gender neutral baby room…..she probably would have changed the room for him, no?
Children can be told that things will change for the new baby.
HAving said that, we are doing the nursery in our bedroom and I really like the idea. (We have a guest bedroom downstairs, so if we (or one of us) needs somewhere else to sleep we can go in there. Can you sleep in the Dora room if you need to? (Is it a full-size bed?)
Post # 15
Our bedroom is pretty big, so we are making a nursery corner/area. We’ll still decorate a couple of wall areas, and have all the nursery stuff… like a rocking chair adn changing area. Our second bedroom has some mold issues and I refuse to put our baby in there. Thankfully we have the space we can put the baby with us very comfortably. Maybe that could work for you too.
Post # 16
@stargal34: it can def. be done 🙂 she slept in our room until she was I believe almost 2, then we moved out and she got her own room and the transition was fine. I actually liked having her with us bc when Darling Husband went back to work I was still off and it was easy for me to just pick her up when she cried in the night, feed and change her and then put her back to sleep. As she got older and slept through the night it was also fine and it made me feel more secure hearing her breathing if I woke up panicked.