(Closed) Where the heck is Upstatecait??

posted 8 years ago in Weddingbee
Post # 227
Member
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

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@Juliepants:  I remember allergicbee changing her name and deactivating her account so she could create a new one for more privacy.  She told everyone she was going to come back under a different name, though, so I’m assuming she’s on the boards somewhere.

This totally sucks about UpstateCait, I really liked her style.  She didn’t beat around the bush when she talked, and I really appreciate straight shooters like that.

Post # 228
Member
4304 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I flagged one of her posts before, and it was recent.  Overall I liked her but sometimes she did sound mean.  That’s not me saying I don’t like her and I appreciate her being blunt and honest.

You get flagged enough times or warned enough times you know what’s coming.  That’s life.  It’s like my union contract at work.  I can’t change the rules for some people and others because I like them.

So I guess it is what it is.  I felt the same way about Jayce, I loved her but she got banned because she was effing around on Circle of Snark.  Some people just don’t listen.

Post # 229
Member
9916 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

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@deetroitwhat:  Why did you flag one of her posts?  

Post # 230
Member
4304 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

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@peachacid:  Hold on I will try to find which one it was and I’ll tell you exactly why.  It was just one, not more than that.

Post # 231
Member
4304 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

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@deetroitwhat:  Crap nm.  All the posts are gone.  I can’t remember verbatim what was said, and it’s not fair to paraphrase. 

I personally think there’s just a fine line between being rude, mean and overbearing at times vs being blunt & honest.

Like KatyElle, she is one of my favorite posters, has much of the same style, but I’ve never found her to be mean.  She knows when to back off.

Post # 232
Member
3218 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

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@deetroitwhat:  but circle of snark can’t get you banned now– which is as it should be, no one should police what we do in our free time on the internet.

and Cait was blunt and honest, I was always shocked (in a good way) when she didn’t shy away from speaking her mind and telling someone what she thought– I wish these boards had more of that because I have to purposefully not click on some threads or include a million pacifying words if I dare challenge someone’s viewpoint. 

“I mean, I just think maybe it’s a good idea if you don’t cover your wedding dress in craft glue and glitter cause like what if you mess it up? lol!”

As opposed to “girl, you’re being crazy.  don’t effing do that.”

(The second one would be a personal attack and would be grounds for flagging and warning as things currently are.)

Post # 233
Member
9916 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

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@deetroitwhat:  So…she was one of your favorite posters, but you flagged her?  That’s interesting.

 

I think it’s important that we all remain respectful of each other, but if someone disagrees or is “mean”, they should be told something like, “Hey, that was uncalled for.”  Flagging someone for it just closes the conversation on it, and doesn’t allow the person to defend him/herself.  That’s just a general opinion of flagging, from me — not trying to tell you what to do.  

Post # 234
Member
4304 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

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@peachacid:  No Jayce was.  I didn’t saying anything about Cait being one of my favorites.

All I am trying to say is the moderators can’t bend the rules, they have to stand behind what they say they will do for everyone.

And clearly there was an issue for more than one person… not just me.  I just don’t have a problem telling you I had an issue with one of her posts and not afraid of putting my opinion out there.

Post # 235
Member
1733 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

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@peachacid:  If she found something offensive she had every right to flag it.  The mods must have also found it offensive if they warned her for it.

Post # 236
Member
4304 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

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@bookworm88:  Oh I agree totally.  I thought it was a load of crap they all got banned.  The thing is they openly said “do not go here or we will ban you.”  And then people went anyways.

Post # 237
Member
4304 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

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@Katnisseverdeen:  Right exactly.  And I am personally laid back, I am not flagging everything I think I’m butt hurt about.  It was something absolutely over the line I felt.

Post # 238
Member
4322 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

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@peachacid:  On the other side of the coin though, if an equal bee tells another bee to “watch it,” what impetus does the offending bee have to heed a peer? She shouldn’t be villified for using the “flag” button when we don’t know why it was used. I’m remaining objective on that one.

FWIW, I do think Cait was an instrumental member of our little hive, and on the whole, was well meaning in her advice, even if it was a little “brash” at times.

 

Post # 239
Member
4304 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

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@StuporDuck:  She was.  And I flagged her weeks ago, I don’t know that it was my flag that did it or the next person.  I wasn’t looking for her to get booted off the boards when it happened ya know.  Rules are rules that’s all I am saying.

Post # 240
Member
4322 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

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@deetroitwhat:  I agree with you. “Flag” is there for a reason. No harm, no foul, and I admire your honesty.

Post # 241
Member
3218 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Well just so we’re all clear, flags cause Mods to look at posts, which can cause warnings, which eventually lead to bannings even if you have thousands and thousands of other nice posts.  

(And to continue the trend of “adding pacifying stuff to my statement so it seems nicer and I don’t get flagged”– I’m not saying you shouldn’t flag if you are hurt, but I personally choose to call the person out in the thread or through a PM than flag to my heart’s content.)

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