(Closed) Where to cap the kid count??

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Is it ok to say no kids to some guests and not to others?
    yes, it's your wedding and you can invite whomever you want : (11 votes)
    25 %
    yes, as long as the only kids you have are family : (17 votes)
    39 %
    no way jose, if you let one guest bring a kid, you have to let them all have the option : (16 votes)
    36 %
    other (explain) : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2104 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    It sounds like you’re already going to have quite a lot of children there.  I think if some people had to turn down attending because their kids weren’t invited, or they spent money on a sitter and saw 15 other children at your wedding, they might be pretty miffed.  It’s hard to distinguish “family kids only, plus a couple other peoples’ kids” when there’s so many of them there.  If you only had a flower girl and ring bearer, it might be easier to justify.

    Post # 4
    Member
    3375 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I think you can just invite nieces and nephews and no other children.

    Or maybe you could say no children and hire a babysitter at a room at your reception? I know when I was a kid I preferred this. There was pizza and I got to wear normal clothes while watching movies.

    Post # 5
    Member
    3265 posts
    Sugar bee

    Despite popular opinion on the been there is no rule of etiquette that says yo have to have a rule.

    You can invite whomever you like to your wedding.

    I invited some kids but not others. Anyone who dares questions a hosts inviting is the rude one. and if they are that upset they can decline the invite.

    Post # 7
    Member
    52 posts
    Worker bee

    I come from a very large family (26 first cousins just on one side!) so I always told myself I would invite the kids.  Yes, it is a pain at times due to pricing of food, but I know they would want to be a part of this celebration with FH and me.  

    Post # 8
    Member
    989 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    We’re inviting children of family only.  I had to tell a few friends that we couldn’t accommodate their children and they seem okay with it, but I was able to say “family only,” which went a long way.  I think once you start picking and choosing among kids instead of having a bright-line rule (e.g. only kids of family/OOT guests, only kids who are in the bridal party, etc.), you increase the risk of offending.

    Post # 9
    Member
    3569 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I think it’s fine, but inform people. I honestly think most would understand you want kids who are family there.

    Post # 10
    Member
    2425 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    We left it as out of town family’s kids only. We may get flack for it but it was a compromise we had to make to keep peace in FI’s family.

    Post # 12
    Member
    95 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    Invite the kids you want to invite, but beware how you write the invitation. My cousins got married two years ago and only intended to invite kids that were direct cousins. However, the wedding invites were a little open ended so second cousins brought dates and often ended up with 5 or more people (we tend to be large families). So whatever you decide – which I don’t think you have to justify, make sure you and your Fiance and both sets of parents are on the same page and that the invites are CLEAR about who is invited.

    Post # 13
    Member
    40 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I am only having children from my immediate family coming. I have already told my friends that I love their kids, but am unable to have them. I am also doing online RSVP so no one can invite “extras”.

    Post # 14
    Member
    1106 posts
    Bumble bee

    I guess I’m lucky as by the time it comes for mine, either they are neices and nephews or a few random kids that are older and can behave better (I think youngest will be 3, although that is if no one else has any by then….) so I’m okay but I didn’t think about a kids room.

    @bostongirl27:  a kids room would be a good option because also with the kids, you have to add them into the whole seating chart, which took me a few hours the other day, simply with just the general guest list, not even having any kind of announcements sent (not even engaged yet, but I like to plan, just trying to figure out a budget and guest list and such) so maybe for you with so many kids, a kids room that is attached is a good option.

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