Post # 1
guest list fun time!!!
Fiance has a gigantic family, including about 9 nieces and nephews ranging in age from 4 to 17 by wedding time. By the time our wedding rolls around, i will have 2 nieces/newphews/or a niece & nephew to add to that count.
our guest list is tight and i really dont want children at the wedding… but in my mind that doesnt mean our nieces and nephews, these kids are family and i want them all there. as for other people’s kids, i’d rather not pay $40 for their chicken nuggets.
will non-related people with kids take offense if we say no to their kids and then they show up and see kids there?
also there are 2 non-related guests that i am thinking we would have to make an exception for and let them bring their kids. would that push it over the edge of acceptable?
Post # 3
It sounds like you’re already going to have quite a lot of children there. I think if some people had to turn down attending because their kids weren’t invited, or they spent money on a sitter and saw 15 other children at your wedding, they might be pretty miffed. It’s hard to distinguish “family kids only, plus a couple other peoples’ kids” when there’s so many of them there. If you only had a flower girl and ring bearer, it might be easier to justify.
Post # 4
I think you can just invite nieces and nephews and no other children.
Or maybe you could say no children and hire a babysitter at a room at your reception? I know when I was a kid I preferred this. There was pizza and I got to wear normal clothes while watching movies.
Post # 5
Despite popular opinion on the been there is no rule of etiquette that says yo have to have a rule.
You can invite whomever you like to your wedding.
I invited some kids but not others. Anyone who dares questions a hosts inviting is the rude one. and if they are that upset they can decline the invite.
Post # 6
@MadameTussaud: yeah that’s my concern. the number of kids is already high. we discussed not having all the neices and nephews, but the ring bearer and flower girl are from different families and we thought it would be weird to invite the parents and those kids but not invite the sibling from those families. and if tyou are inviting all the kids of one of his sibiling then you have to invite the kids of the others…
the exceptions are only 3 kids:
-one of FIs groomsmen has 2 kids, who will be 4 and 1 and a half at the wedding. Since he is in the wedding and lives out of state, he will have to travel an extra day to be at the rehersal, so he and his wife would have to find a sitter for 3 days/2 nights or travel seperately (they only have 1 car) to attend our wedding.
-a very good friend of mine who lives across the country has already told me that she will be coming to the wedding and that she and her husband are planning their family vacation around it. they have 1 son who will be almost 3 at the wedding and i have never met him. i feel like it would be beyond rude to ask her to find a place to leave her son in a city where i am the only one she knows just to attend my reception.
Post # 7
I come from a very large family (26 first cousins just on one side!) so I always told myself I would invite the kids. Yes, it is a pain at times due to pricing of food, but I know they would want to be a part of this celebration with FH and me.
Post # 8
We’re inviting children of family only. I had to tell a few friends that we couldn’t accommodate their children and they seem okay with it, but I was able to say “family only,” which went a long way. I think once you start picking and choosing among kids instead of having a bright-line rule (e.g. only kids of family/OOT guests, only kids who are in the bridal party, etc.), you increase the risk of offending.
Post # 9
I think it’s fine, but inform people. I honestly think most would understand you want kids who are family there.
Post # 10
We left it as out of town family’s kids only. We may get flack for it but it was a compromise we had to make to keep peace in FI’s family.
Post # 11
so far it seems like the scales are tipping in favor of all kids. i was kinda figuring, but was hoping to hear otherwise :/
Post # 12
Invite the kids you want to invite, but beware how you write the invitation. My cousins got married two years ago and only intended to invite kids that were direct cousins. However, the wedding invites were a little open ended so second cousins brought dates and often ended up with 5 or more people (we tend to be large families). So whatever you decide – which I don’t think you have to justify, make sure you and your Fiance and both sets of parents are on the same page and that the invites are CLEAR about who is invited.
Post # 13
I am only having children from my immediate family coming. I have already told my friends that I love their kids, but am unable to have them. I am also doing online RSVP so no one can invite “extras”.
Post # 14
I guess I’m lucky as by the time it comes for mine, either they are neices and nephews or a few random kids that are older and can behave better (I think youngest will be 3, although that is if no one else has any by then….) so I’m okay but I didn’t think about a kids room.
@bostongirl27: a kids room would be a good option because also with the kids, you have to add them into the whole seating chart, which took me a few hours the other day, simply with just the general guest list, not even having any kind of announcements sent (not even engaged yet, but I like to plan, just trying to figure out a budget and guest list and such) so maybe for you with so many kids, a kids room that is attached is a good option.