Post # 1
I am WAAAAY early on this (only 7 weeks), but I want to pick my delivery hospital now and start having appointments with the midwives at that hospital. I did IVF and have narrowed the choices to staying with the hospital I did IVF at (which is MGH for any Boston bees) or going over to another hospital (Mt Auburn) instead. I’m not considering any other hospitals due to a variety of reasons. MGH has the most amazing staff on the history of the planet – I seriously cannot say enough good things about them. HOWEVER they do not guarantee private post-partum rooms and in the 10% chance (their estimate) I had to share my husband wouldn’t be allowed to stay with me. Mt Auburn only has private rooms and they encourage the fathers to stay with mom and baby.
Both hospitals have excellent midwife services (which is what I want) that work in a close team environment with the OBs (which is what Darling Husband wants) should I develop any complications. I freaking HATE hospitals and the thought of my husband not being able to stay with me is already giving me anxiety, but I know he really likes MGH because well….it’s MGH, and he’s more willing to take the risk that we don’t get a private room.
What would you do?
Post # 2
When do you have to decide by? I know I had to chose by my booking in appointment with the midwives which was at 8 weeks (UK NHS)
I had a choice of 2 hospitals. The only thing the was different about them was that Lewisham has a birth centre which is a half way between hosptial and home delivery. It is midwife led (so no epidurals) but is close to the delivery suite in case I need a doctor / specialist care.
Lewisham allows partners to stay with the mothers the whole time and the birth centre has double beds so it is more comfortable for the partner as well. That swung it for me completely. Plus I had heard nothing but praise for the hospital from other mums who had delivered there.
I would say, go with your gut instinct, visit both and see where you feel more comfortable and speak to other people who have delivered there.
Oh and yes your Darling Husband can have a say, but it is you that needs to give birth there and it is WAY more important that you feel comfortable in the environment.
Post # 3
The chance that my husband wouldn’t be able to stay with me would make me feel anxious through the whole pregnancy! I would want a sure thing.
Post # 4
I would pick whichever one allows your partner to stay. I wouldn’t want to be apart, especially the first night!
Post # 5
I can switch at anytime if I change my mind so that isn’t a concern, I would just prefer to start out with the midwives that I’ll be delivering with which would mean my 12 week appointment. Both hospitals have OBs on standby and an epidural will always be an option (although right now that scares me more than an unmedicated birth so we’ll see if I change my mind on that one lol). The good thing is that it’s Boston – there are literally only 2 bad hospitals in the area that I would never go to and a dozen more that are all wonderful.
yes! that’s my feeling right now!
Post # 6
That’s terrible they don’t guarantee a room where your husband can stay! It’s an exciting time for him too, and I personally would not risk him not being able to be a part of if and be with his new baby. It’s just not fair to him.
Post # 7
who is monitoring your pregnancy?
i am IVF also, but my place was just a clinic. after i graduated at 10 weeks, i went to my OB’s office. i have been with that practice since i was young, i knew i was going to deliver at their associated hospital. it was also where my huband and me were born.
but the answer is you should go with where you are most comfortable. tour the places now.
at my OB’s office, the appointments were 4 weeks apart, my OB knew i was very nervous so she said i could come in anytime and just ask to hear the HB if i wanted reassurance.
Post # 8
I would pick the hospital with the higher level NICU. I know a lot of people that work in healthcare (my Fiance included) and so many things can happen that I would not want to take a chance.
Post # 9
This!! My brother and SIL chose to deliver at a smaller hospital closer to their house out of convenience. Their baby was born 6 weeks early and had breathing problems and had to be transfered by ambulance to the bigger hospital (where I had delivered) because they had the best NICU. In the future, they are definitely going to deliver at the bigger hospital to have the quickest access to the best medical care possible for the baby.
Post # 10
my fertility doctor at MGH is monitoring me for now. I had a 6 week US and I’ll have an 8 week and then they discharge me to the OB or midwife of my choice. I currently have a 12 week appointment set up with the MGH midwives, but I want to change now that I know I risk Darling Husband not being able to stay with me. My primary care physician has done all of my pap smears and routine care for the past 10 years or so and I don’t have an obgyn that I have a relationship with already. I already asked my fertility doctor and he said I’m not a high risk pregnancy and that if I feel more comfortable seeing CNMs then that’s 100% fine by him. A few of the OBGYNs I HAD been interested in when I first started TTC weren’t accepting new gyno patients so I gave up on establishing a relationship earlier with someone.
Post # 11
both hospitals are equally convenient for us, so the concern for me comes down to having providers that support natural birth (while still being in a hospital in case anything goes wrong at the last minute) and will guarantee that my husband can stay which Mt Auburn does. Mt Auburn has a Level 2 nicu and MGH is a Level 3. My cousin unfortunately had to have her daugher transferred to MGH nicu many years ago and I know that it is absolutely wonderful.
Post # 12
It doesn’t look like Mt Auburn has a NICU.
I would NOT want to share a post partum room, but I’d be more devastated to be separated from my baby if god forbid something happened and they needed NICU time.
Post # 13
My husband didn’t stay night 1 with me because he had to take care of our dogs and it FUCKING SUCKED. I would go for the guaranteed private room.
Post # 14
Me personally, it would be a no brainer – I would pick MGH and take the chance on not having a private room. If you deliver at the other hospital and god forbid, the baby has to be transferred to MGH for a higher level of care, generally speaking, you are not transferred too. My sister is a pediatrician and has priviledges at several hospitals, one of which has a level 3 NICU (the others are level 2). She sees babies transferred out a lot
and the new moms are stuck at the hospital where they delivered until they are cleared for discharge by their OB.
Post # 15
I honestly wouldn’t care that much about sharing if my husband could stay too! But I understand why he can’t if I have to share. Athough my mother had to share with my older sister and it was a total nightmare for her – the woman she shared with was a crackhead and the baby was borning addicted. The room was swarmed with cops and social workers and nurses at all times and my mom just wanted a little peace and quiet with her new (first) baby.
As for the NICU issue I’m not discounting that at all. I’ve had several friends lately deliver early or have complications so I know how important that can be. If at some point in my pregnancy it becomes apparent that me or the baby has a complication (for example a friend found out before she delivered that her daughter had a heart defect) I would 100% transfer my care to the more advanced hospital. I just don’t believe that every pregnancy needs to be treated like a medical emergency from the get go.