Post # 1
My fiance and I are planning our guest list and are realizing that our hopes for a 100 person wedding are probably not going to happen. My close family alone (aunts, uncles and cousins) is 41. The weird thing is that my fiance knows some of my extended family (second cousins) better even than my close family, because they happen to live nearby and have a common hobby. He really wants to invite them and I would like to as well, but their whole family would be 16 extra people (not including plus ones)! It feels super rude to invite just the second cousins we’re close to and not the rest – we can’t do that… right?
Post # 2
I personally think you can. Invite who you are close to. I was forced by my parents (they were paying) to invite a lot of family members who I don’t have relationships with. I regretted it. I had a whole bunch of “family” there and not enough of my actual friends.
Can your venue accomodate all of these additional people if you have to?
Post # 3
Technically, if it’s your wedding and you’re paying for it, you can invite whomever you’d like. Fiance has a giant family – each aunt and uncle had about 3-5 children, and those children had about 3-5 each as well. So, we ended up having to cut out cousins on his side completely and just invite his aunts and uncles to make the numbers work. He isn’t really close to his cousins anyway, and much preferred being able to invite more friends. Simply, we ultimately decided to only invite those we are truly close to and couldn’t imagine not sharing in our day.
Post # 4
I agree to invite the people you’re close to. Treat anyone other than immediate family like you would friends. So some of your second cousins will get an invite and others won’t.
Post # 5
I have a HUGE family. My mother insisted on inviting her aunts/uncles and 1st cousins in addition to mine; she was paying, so I caved. Most of the extended family I’m not close to isn’t coming, even though invited. People have better things to do than attend the wedding of someone they don’t know well. So, it worked out for me. My original compromise is that we invited a lot of people, caving to parents’ wishes, but we planned an afterparty with just our nearest and dearest and people we liked without having to worry about inviting ALL of the cousins on one side if we invited one of them.
Good luck, bee!
Post # 6
- Wedding: September 2017 - Pearson Convention Centre
Technically you can, but when we got married we didn’t feel comfortable doing that so we invited all of our families
Post # 7
My first cousins range in age from 20 years older than me to 25 years younger than me. There are alot of them, with their familes it would be well over 60 people. We only invited the ones that I had a relationship with. I don’t think anyone was insulted.
Post # 8
Invite who you’re close to! My Fiance has a huge family, and we had to not invite some of his first cousins. He couldn’t even remember their names, let alone the names of their spouses and children. Why would we waste 11 seats on people I’ve never met and he can’t remember just because they’re technically family?! FWIW We’re also close to some second cousins and they’re coming!
Post # 9
I had this very same dilema. I have a very big family just like you and we had to make cuts based on family members who we are close with or have had a major impact in our lives at some point. There were just too many cousins and there is no way we can invite them all. Do what works best for you invite those that are close to you, quite frankly those that arent close shouldnt feel any negative feelings if they are honest with themselves.