(Closed) Where was ur FMIL when you got ready?

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
46 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 1995

My (now) Mother-In-Law met us at the church.  We girls were  getting ready there, but she hung out somewhere else in the building, not with us–in hindsight, I have no idea where :).  I don’t think it is “the norm” for the Future Mother-In-Law to hang out with the bride, I can’t remember any weddings I’ve been in that the Future Mother-In-Law was around when the bride and bridesmaids were getting ready… 

Post # 4
Member
4385 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

My sister was an encore bride last year, and her Mother-In-Law (and now ex-MIL) were not with us while getting ready either time!

Post # 6
Member
38 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2009

My Mother-In-Law popped in and out while we were getting ready, but she and I have a pretty good relationship, so I’m glad that she was there.

Post # 7
Member
1080 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

Are you me? Really, same wedding date, same bat sh*t crazy Future Mother-In-Law. I am avoiding this by having all the boys get ready at her house and keeping her far away as I get ready at my mom’s house

Post # 8
Member
300 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Oh wow, if you come up with a solution to this, please let me know.  I love my mother-in-law, but she has big plans that she and her female relatives are all going to share my changing room at our venue.  I was like, “ummm . . . OK.”  But really, it’s not a big room and it’s going to be crowded with 10+ women in there.  I understand that she wants to be fresh and unwrinkled for the wedding, but I’m going to talk to my fiance about maybe renting a hotel room for her and her female relatives to get ready at.

I don’t want to come off as rude, but I see the MILs as just another guest, though an important one.  As a guest of a wedding, I’ve never changed into my “wedding clothes” onsite.  I arrived fully dressed and ready to go.  It should be the same with the MILs.  And there is no reason for them to be there, really.  Maybe talk to your fiance, and have him break the news to your MIL?  Good luck!

Post # 9
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Yeah….I think that this is a weird request.  I’ve been in the wedding party 3 times and not once has the Mother-In-Law hung out, changed with, or dropped by the bride and her crew

@Stlinginko- I like your idea.  

Why doesn’t the Mother-In-Law hang out with her son?  You could even send the photog over to wherever they are and get some fun getting ready picks.  I hate to suggest you kowtow to her, but if you come up with something that kind of puts her in her element (with her son and with photos, perhaps), she may relent and be cool with just hanging out elsewhere. 

I’d say you should tell her that it really means a lot to you to get ready with your mom and BMs kjpugs, but I’ve read some of your other MIL-related posts, and I’m guessing that wouldn’t go over well.   🙂

Post # 11
Member
1080 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

Whatever you decide it might be a good idea to make sure she gets a schedule of events/times for the day of. That way she will know when she will have “her” time

Post # 12
Member
4480 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

Just pretend you’re actually getting ready at 2:30, 2:45 at the church so she doesn’t have any idea she missed anything… depending on what she already knows, that might do it!

Post # 13
Member
300 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Your solution sounds more than fair.  And if she insists, just gently (but firmly) tell her that hair/makeup time is for your mom and bridal party only.  Sounds like your Mother-In-Law is a handful, but I think you get to have your way on this one – you are still going to include her before the ceremony, you are just asking for a little family/bridal party bonding time for yourself beforehand.  

Post # 14
Member
1220 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

To be honest, I have no idea what my Mother-In-Law did that day.  I would never expect her to get ready with me and I’ve never seen one get ready with any of the brides I know.

Post # 16
Member
2767 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I had asked mine if she would help out my soon to be husband with his bouttoniierre.  So she was at the church putting the bout on him and helping the other guys.  My photog wasn’t able to come take getting ready shots of me.  But he was at the church and got some getting ready shots of my Future Mother-In-Law putting the bout on my husband.  It was cute.  

Perhaps you could run this idea past your Fiance and he could ask his mom if she would do the same.  I think they really like helping out, and it would be an honor for her to help her son out.

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