(Closed) Where you want to live changed/changing since you had kids?

posted 6 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’m not currently pregnant, but I hope it doesn’t change…I reallllyy don’t want to move to the suburbs!  We might make a compromise and move to another less expensive/less populated borough, and leave Manhattan (eeek!)

I grew up in a city of about 10,000…I currently live in a city of about 8 million 😉

Post # 4
Member
4675 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Not working on having kids yet, but yes.  I grew up in many small and smallish towns, and mostly in the countryside.  I was so happy to leave and vowed to never come back!  hehehe.  I have been living in a city, and I love every minute of it.  FI wants to buy a house in the rural area closer to were he works before we have kids.  At first I was a little sad about the idea of leaving my glorious city.   But I do love the idea of having an amazing garden, and to not have to worry about our kids as much when they play outside.  

Post # 5
Member
6830 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I also grew up in small town usa and moved to the “city” well burb wise.  We have a child now and where we are living is just perfect for rasing a child. There is an elementary school kitty corner from our house. Another elementary school about half a mile from us and many many parks for kids to play in. 

Post # 6
Member
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I grew up in the city and before high school my parents moved us to the suburbs. I always said I would move back to the city but when we bought our house we bought it on a dead end street in the suburbs in one of the best elementary school districts.

Post # 7
Member
1304 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I hated the suburbs where I grew up, but after living in Manhattan for 10 years I am completely tired of the city.  It is too crowded, loud, stressful and draining.

However, the suburbs have several problems:

1. Very few of them are walkable, and I really enjoy being able to walk around my neighborhood for basic errands, casual dinners, etc.

2. The commute is just way too long.  I am not willing to give up that much time out of my day, especially if I have small children.

3. The suburbs feel very stifling and isolating to me, largely due to the walkability issue.

Right now we are living in Hoboken, and so far it is a good compromise.  I’m not sure how it will work if we have a child, though, because the schools are not great and it’s hard to have private outdoor space.  We have been talking a lot about this problem and are really struggling with the decision.

Post # 8
Member
13096 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Not in the same way as you guys but Darling Husband and I moved away from where our families were for my job after we graduated college.  We vowed before we left that we wanted to move back before/when we had kids so that we could raise our children near their grandparents.  We moved back in February and bought a house in the suburbs of Atlanta, even though we a still a couple years out from TTC.

Post # 9
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

When Darling Husband and I purchased our new home we were careful to only look in areas we’d want to raise kids in. But I had kinda the opposite situation from you – I grew up in a fairly busy suburb of Detroit, but when I moved in with Darling Husband he already owned a house in a tiny little farmtown. And I HATE IT. Ohhh how I hate it. I am a city or busy suburb girl, definitely no teeny tiny everyone-knows-everyone twons for me, it is just not my thing at all! Couldn’t go back to where I used to live because it’s too far from DH’s work and has definitely gotten to be a worse neighborhood over the eyars anyways.

We chose to live in a newer subdivision with lots of families with kids. There are restaurants, grocery stores, parks, and things like that very close by. It is a diverse city (that was very important to me, DH’s family will occassionally make racist remarks that really bother me, and they like to use the excuse that there weren’t other races in the tiny town they grew up in *eye roll* – not an excuse, but living here means they can’t use that excuse with our kids either). The school system is pretty good, and they have a good marching band if the future little ones decide to take after mom and dad, haha.

Post # 10
Member
74 posts
Worker bee

My husband and I grew up in very different areas (I moved a lot between bigger suburbs, he stayed in one tiny tiny town) but I am pretty confident, now that we’re pregnant, that we’ll be sticking to “10 minutes within a Target”.

I loved being able to walk to friends’ houses and go to parks on bikes when I was little, and can’t wait to explore zoos, museums, fairs, festivals with our child without driving 45 minutes into town.

I have had a pretty uneventful pregnancy so far – but I also cringe to think of being far out from an ambulance’s reach!

So… I’ve experienced mostly wanting to stick with what I know, and I think that he is mostly on board (with the agreement that I’ll be more amenable to moving somewhere further out once we’re older/retired!)

Post # 11
Member
1813 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I grew up in a village of 8 houses, and I always dreamt of moving to the big city.  I live, in what I consider to be a huge town now (6000 people hehe!)  and that for me is big enough.  I would like to move to the outskirts though, so that we can have a garden for our children one day, when we actually get lucky.

 

Post # 12
Member
7311 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

Absolutely. When DS was small, living very close to the city (and all of its issues) was not a huge concern for me. He was with me or another family member all the time, so I knew he would be protected. But as he got older, grew more independent, and spent more time with peers, I realized that those negative parts of city life were definitely influencing him. The caliber of kids that he was around, the crap their parents taught them (or didn’t teach them not to do/say), the level of crime in the neighborhood, the lower school quality, etc. were all holding him back from his full potential. City life was getting in the way of his growth, so we moved to the suburbs. And now that we are staring down high school and DS becoming even more independent, we’ve decided to move farther out to the country. We cannot protect him from all forms of crap, but we can at least assure that we live in a neighborhood where you don’t have to be concerned when your kid goes out for a walk, and that he attends a school that doesn’t need anti gang violence signs in the hallways.

Post # 13
Member
686 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

We have decided to move for the baby once our lease is up in September (won’t that be fun, moving at 8 months pregnant!). We live in a three bedroom townhouse in a rougher area of the city because it’s fully renovated and the rent is insanely low considering housing prices are sky-high here. We aren’t comfortable living here once the baby arrives however because we (a) have no yard and it’s killing our golden retriever who is in turn making us crazy and (b) if I don’t feel comfortable taking Emma out in the stroller, we aren’t living there.

We’re now looking for a smaller detached house in the suburban community my in-laws live in. Happy to be closer to them and out of the “ghetto”, not so happy about the potential $500-$600 spike in rent.

Post # 15
Member
7770 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I think about this all the time.  Darling Husband and I are so not city people and we also cannot stand small towns!  I think if we ever have kids we will make a compromise, maybe a town of 20-60K where you can walk places.  Or, if we get stuck living here, I have to be on a lake!  Other times I miss the boonies, but Darling Husband has to be near a city for his work. 

ETA:  I would never live in suburbs- to me they are a cultureless place.  I also want to be near a city, however, so that my kids can have more opportunity.  I just felt very limited with the HS I went to- I did NOT get a good education!  So many considerations….

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