- 5 years ago
- Wedding: June 2013
I’ve been engaged since early April 2012, my fiancé and I were only going to have one person on each side with us so I chose someone whom I thought was a close friend. She went dress shopping with me in June 2012, and that’s the last that I heard from her other than liking stuff on my facebook page here and there and an occasional text message.
In mid December 2012 she sent out a mass text to her friends (including me) saying that she was 6 ½ months pregnant. I was in complete shock that I had not been informed earlier since this was my “best friend” and Maid/Matron of Honor.
I asked if she felt that she would still be able to handle the Maid/Matron of Honor role with everything going on in her life. She said that it would not be a problem and that she would have a couple months to lose the weight to fit into her dress. That’s the extent that the conversation reached.
In my opinion I feel like she should focus on her new role as a mother sand that should understandably “trump” my wedding with responsibilities going on within her life right now. From that perspective it seems unfair to me to have her as my Maid/Matron of Honor. Because I did not want to put a lot of faith in reliability here or there leading up to and on the wedding day my fiancé and I mutually decided to add one more person to each side. He was not happy about it, he doesn’t have a lot of close friends or family that he wanted up there with him but he agreed to it because of my “situation” with my Maid/Matron of Honor.
I asked my new bridesmaid if she would help take on tasks that the Maid/Matron of Honor typically would do since this is an old friend from high school and I have a lot of trust in her to be there for me but she declined.
I have been emailing both my Maid/Matron of Honor and bridesmaid about details leading up to and on the day before and day of my wedding and getting limited feedback. She ONLY communicates through text or facebook, she wont answer my calls or return my calls, I just get a text later on…
Because I am having a small bridal party I figured it would be a nice treat to pay for everyone’s nails the morning before the wedding and hair and makeup the morning of. She had contacted me yesterday wanting to ask if her boyfriend could sit at the bridal table with her. I responded about that and then for the first time blatantely asked if she thought she would be able to dedicate the entire day before and most of the day of the wedding to helping me since I don’t have anyone else to count on for keeping my sanity and helping with whatever I might need. I did point out my fears to her about reliability and what not with her new mommy-hood role and that I wanted to ask her opinion if she felt she would be able to still be maid of honor.
All she said with a response was that her boyfriend was going to have his mom watch their son the day of the wedding but the day before she would have to bring him with her until 3:00 p.m…
The problem with that is that I have scheduled the hair, nail and makeup appointments and this very reputable salon in town that you have to actually put a credit card down to schedule an appointment. They do not typically allow children in the salon but I had it ok’d for them to allow and provide services for my step daughter to be who is 8. I called the salon after receiving the email from my Maid/Matron of Honor saying that she had planned on taking the newborn with her that Friday morning so I called the salon to see if they would allow the baby so there were no surprises that morning when we got there.. They said it would be unsafe for the newborn to be there due to chemicals in the air if they were using products and etc. I then messaged my Maid/Matron of Honor back and told this to her and have not received a response from her since.
On a side note- my fiancé and I have done everything ourselves, from filling, addressing and putting postage on the Save the Dates, to planning decorations, colors, plans for the day, and etc. At this point I don’t even have anyone who is planning on throwing a bridal shower for me and like I said earlier in this post, she only communicates through text or facebook, she does not answer or return my phone calls. L I just don’t know what to do.
I’m stressing right now trying to figure out who can learn to bustle my dress after the wedding because I don’t know if I can trust that my Maid/Matron of Honor to do it if “something comes up”. My mom and mother in law to be are both willing to learn but they will be so busy with family, friends and everything the day of the wedding I don’t want to put pressure on them to be there to help me out on top of that. L