Which Do I Prioritize: The Job Opportunity or the (LDR) Man?

posted 12 months ago in Relationships
Post # 61
Member
3220 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

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lifeisbeeutiful :  OP says herself that she doesn’t think the relationship will survive another year LDR, and that they BOTH think it’s best if she moves to him. If she takes the job, it’s a death knell for the relationship, per her own interpretation. I think it’s odd that everyone is encouraging that. 

Post # 62
Member
694 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

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arizonali :  I think if he was that genuine and committeed to advancing their relationship, he would have had a ring and been ready by the agreed upon deadline. He doesn’t get to drag his feet and expect her to go along with it and then expect her to drop everything to satisfy what he wants. I’m team take the job and I’m curious to see what decision OP made!

Post # 63
Member
1641 posts
Bumble bee

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hopefulfuturemrs :  I’m also suspicious of a relationship that is worth giving up a good job for and yet cannot withstand another year of relatively short distance.

I’ve seen many couples successfully do long distance for longer periods of time with greater distance between. I’d be curious to know who is doing most of the driving. I’m also surprised they haven’t considered taking the train instead, given that it’s likely more cost effective and comfortable.

Post # 64
Member
6171 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2017

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KittyYogi :  sure but men arent some scarce commodity these days where OP is asked to decide whether it would be harder to find a new job or a new man. Little bit ridiculous.

Post # 65
Member
252 posts
Helper bee

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lifeisbeeutiful :  you truly believe that finding a life partner is easier than finding a 12 month contract job?

i mean, if that’s the case for you, I’m really impressed, and good for you, but I’d disagree that it’s this way for the average person.

Post # 66
Member
11303 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Career before boyfriend.  Take care of yourself, Bee.  Your future is far too uncertain to be blowing off potentially valuable  career moves.

Post # 67
Member
6171 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2017

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curlybeans :  a “life partner” that’s blown the proposal timeline? One that can’t keep their word and wants everything on their terms? Maybe that’s the definition of a life partner to you but not to me. 

Post # 68
Member
252 posts
Helper bee

lifeisbeeutiful :  I don’t know enough to state that he’s a GOOD life partner. That’s not really up to me, or you.

OP says she’s madly in love and that she wants to start a family with him, so I’m going to assume that he’s what she wants in a man. 

Post # 69
Member
6171 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2017

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curlybeans :  I’m not going to assume anything. 

Career over man 100%. Do not be afraid of whether or not you’d find someone else as quickly as finding a contract job. You can have both. 

Post # 70
Member
26 posts
Newbee

I’m guessing if you’re asking yourself this question and asking opinions from the internet, you probably already know the answer. I would take the job. 

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