(Closed) Which do you prefer – Personal written vows OR traditional vows???

posted 9 years ago in Ceremony
  • poll: Which do you prefer - Personal written vows OR traditional vows???

    Personalized vows! - Love how it highlights the couple's personality & displays the love they share!

    Traditional ones! Love the history and tradition of the vows. Don't mess with what works!

    A combination of both - A personalized take on the traditional ones, or a combination of the two.

    Neither - I don't have an opinion.

  • Post # 17
    79 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    My Fiance and I are both WAY too private to blurt out our innermost feelings infront of my mom, dad, great-aunt, cousin’s boyfriend, etc etc. 

    Granted, watching them on TV or whatever does make me tear up. Thats why I will not be doing my own vows. Maybe after we are married he can recite them to me in the comforts of our own home, just us 🙂

    So yeah, traditional all the way. 

    Post # 18
    1546 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    We did a combo of both. We each wrote our own, but ended with I ___ take you ___ …

    Post # 19
    5986 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    We did traditional vows but wrote each other letters. I wouldn’t like sharing some of the personal things that I had in that letter with everyone at the ceremony so I think the way we did things worked out great!

    Although… I do really love hearing other people’s personalized vows! I’m just not the type of person to share mine with others 🙂

    Post # 20
    547 posts
    Busy bee

    I just want a short nonreligious standard set of vows. I want the ceremony to be over ASAP because I’m shy! Plus, reciting my own vows is too personal for me and that’s not how my boyfriend and I usually communicate our feelings anyway. We say “I love you” all the time and are physically affectionate but when we’re talking about our relationship and our lovey feelings it’s… different? in a way that I wouldn’t know how to translate into actual vows.


    Post # 21
    573 posts
    Busy bee

    @Nona99:  +1

    It bugs me too! I love a solid list of promises and think if you are going to start on a love letter note keep it short!

    Post # 23
    7528 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    At our wedding we did a combination of traditional vows and vows we’d written ourselves.  We worked on the entire ceremony together and even wrote our vows together.  It was perfectly us.  We kept in traditional stuff we liked and changed all the rest, it was uniquely ours, and everyone loved it. 

    Post # 24
    1673 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    We’re thinking of doing a combination.

    Post # 25
    325 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I love it when other people do personalized vows.  Love it so much I can’t stand it!

    However the idea of doing personalized vows myself?  Nope.  Not gonna happen.  Neither of us could stand the pressure.  We’re not center of attention types of people, we’re not funny on command, and I think the effect of doing personalized vows for us would be the opposite of meaningful and touching.  It would be awkward and stressful and if I managed to access one iota of my emotion, I’d just start sobbing.

    I think that the traditional vows are the best way for us to feel personally connected, ironically!  It probably won’t be for the guests, but they probably wouldn’t like our weird attempts to try and be personal.  My groom and I tell each outher how we feel about each other all the time in private.

    Post # 26
    814 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    I like personalised vows in theory – but inevitably people don’t actually write VOWS. They write something beautiful and sweet, sure, they make a romantic speech about how important they are to one another, but they always forget to make actual promises in their speech, which to me at least defeats the entrie purpose of vows. Now if, on the other hand, you made a point to put promises in there, you might do well.

    Post # 27
    115 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    We decided to write our own and not do the repeat after me version.  We had the goal for our whole ceremony that it would be traditional but personalized.  (And it worked out great).  It felt really good and really meaningful to speak vows that were from our hearts and meaningful to us rather than just reciting what is “standard”.  It was a personal choice and I have been to weddings where the traditional repeated vows are beautiful and touching as well. 

    We did structure our vows to be similar to the traditional ones so it wasn’t a long rambling story of our love or some epic attempt to be dramatic or funny.  I loved it and wouldn’t have changed a word! 

    Post # 28
    315 posts
    Helper bee

    We did personalized vows in the format of an intro sentence, then “I love … (x3). I promise … (x3).” We really wanted to get actual vows in there, but we wanted it to be as “real” as possible. We also did some repeat-after-me stuff for the ring exchange and our religious vows. So I voted for a mix.


    I don’t personally care what others do, though I do find many people’s vows overly silly or not “vowy” enough. Their call!

    Post # 29
    7384 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Personalized. Not a fan of traditional vows.

    Post # 30
    240 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    My husband and I wrote our vows togther. So we read the exact same vows but since we had written them together they were more personal and less traditional. It was really nice and I was able to rehearse it to him over and over again until I didn’t bawl my eyes out anymore 😉

    ETA: I knew I would be a nervous wreck and a total emotional mess reading him vows I prepared in front of a bunch of people.

    Post # 31
    940 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Rosehill Community Center

    Our officiant, my FI’s dad, wasn’t a huge fan of my idea for writing our own vows.  I didn’t explain it well, but he thought it would be more of a “I love you because…” not an “I vow to…” deal.  But we struck a good compromise – I basically took one of the bee’s mad-lib formats (Mrs. Cola’s!), and took off the bottom line, and added one of his pre-made vows that was really short (and also included an “and I promise to”), so not only will they match somewhat in form, but they also end with the same vows.  He also wants us to send our vows to him ahead of time so he can make sure they “match” enough, and then he’ll print and make sure to bring them to the ceremony.  I’m liking this compromise, though!  

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