- 3 years ago
- Wedding: April 2015
Our original plan was to elope, but more recently we have been leaning towards a simple family orientated wedding with a nice restaurant meal afterwards. All our extended family and FH’s friends understand our reasons and most are actually relieved (every single potential guest has to travel a minimum of 3 hours to the wedding, we live away from both our families and ‘weddings’ arent that highly regarded in my left-wing borderline hippy family). However the issues start with my friends. All four of my close girlfriends live interstate, three of them 1000+km away. Two of the 1000+km friends I have been a bridesmaid for over the last 18 months, and two in particular will be very upset not to receive an invite.
On one hand I want to invite them all to prevent my friends having hurt feelings (32 guest option), but then the immediate family will be upset that we have chosen friends over close extended family. Also, I have not met three of four of FH’s “closest” friends as they live far far north. They are all still single party animals and FH doubts a small intimate ‘family orientated’ wedding is an appropriate event for them to attend. I also fear that the cozy intimate effect will be negated with a heap of people attending I have never met and dont know us well as a couple, particulary when I have close extended family being excluded. Also 32 people is honestly just too many people for our liking. In our opinion ‘simple’ starts being replaced with ‘production’ at 20+ guests.
On the other hand the immediate family (16 guest option) means I cannot invite my first choice for witness, my longest and best friend… it just wouldnt feel quite right to me if she wasnt there. She is considered immediate family and calls my mum and dad Uncle and Aunty etc. My family and hers would be quite shocked if she wasn’t invited.
I personally (secretly?) like the (19 guest option), because my oldest friend will be there with me as my witness. However I have a feeling my other three friends would feel put out if I invited her and not them, particularly considering two of my other friends have had me in their bridal party in recent years.
There is always the (2 guest, witnesses only option). While it does appeal, and my BFF would be there our families have never met and are scattered all around the country. Both sets of parents are divorced and this is probably the only chance we will have to get them all together. Not to mention they would be devastated if they were excluded and would demand a large after party.
Advice? Thoughts? Please dont suggest alternative or larger guest lists than already listed.
Thanks in advance!