Post # 46
This happened to me, I think it was a bit worse since I flirted with a guy on a trip with my friends, it was innocent but I never told Fiance about it. He found out by reading my FB messages and email.
I wasn’t mad he “ivaded my privacy” since I don’t feel it that way (we have each other’s passwords), I was mad he was looking for it cause I really felt it was wrong, that’s why I never told him about this guy. What I did was wrong, and at the end of the day he don’t trusting me (although might not be the right thing), well he was right and found what he was looking for. Do you understand? cause I think it sounds complicated =P.
Post # 47
That’s a good question. It was hard, because I’m personally more on her side, but I also see his side.
I basically told her that I could see both sides. While I totally understand her SO’s feelings, and that he’s upset she didn’t tell him, I also don’t think that gives him the right to read her texts. I think he should have more trust in her.
However, I also told her that because he does (clearly) have trust issues, she may want to consider mentioning her meetings with people whom he hasn’t met before, just so he knows she isn’t hiding it.
On a personal level, I tell DH most of the things I do with my day, but there are certainly things I don’t tell him. If I’m off work, I don’t always text him and go “Hey, I’m going shopping” or “Hey, meeting Sally for lunch”. I might tell him after the fact if it comes up, but I feel that it’s unhealthy to have a relationship where you have to ask permission to do things.
I’m also adamently against all the new “Find your Friend” apps and crap that are used for tracking location on your phone. In my opinion, individuals, whether in a couple or not, deserve to have something to themselves… it’s a slippery slope to start tracking your SO and knowing their every move, which isn’t healthy.
Post # 48
I guess I should preface that the phone tracking apps came up while she and I were talking about the situation. I’ve been hearing a lot about them lately, and I sort of feel that they are on the same level of privacy invasion in as reading texts and emails. I dislike anything that allows a partner to track you. (FYI, my parents tapped phones and read my emails as a kid. I’m pretty sensitive to stuff like that and really dislike it.)
I love my husband, and if he wanted me to have the app so he could find me in an emergency, fine. But I wouldn’t keep it on 24/7. I would turn it on if I were going somewhere far away, where he would *need* to be able to see where I was. I don’t need to track his moves, he doesn’t need to track mine.
Like I said.. slippery slopes.
Post # 50
The intrusion of privacy is worse (very wrong) to my mind. Going to lunch with a friend is perfectly normal behaviour and not something to be justified. People are entitled to freedom and privacy in relationships.