Post # 31

Member
2268 posts
Buzzing bee
aileen.farrell: Wait, I’m confused. You’re having two ceremonies on the same day within 3.5 hours of each other? So the people that come to the first ceremony have to sit through a second ceremony? You get married at the first ceremony. There is no point in having a second one. I might have missed it, but I don’t understand this at all.
Post # 32

Member
4767 posts
Honey bee
crackktheskyy: I was thinking this exact thing. 2 ceremonies so close seem so much more odd than a 5 hour break.
OP: what are your reasoning for 2 ceremonies?
Post # 33

Member
11 posts
Newbee
crackktheskyy: It was a suggestion earlier from another poster – basically just have immediate family at the Catholic ceremony that is being held at noon (but I think we will also let people know about it and that they are more than welcome to attend) and then having a 2nd informal ceremony at the reception site. With so many people traveling 3-5 hours it would give them the opportunity to leave at a reasonable time from their homes and make it in time for the 2nd ceremony and reception. The 2nd ceremony would be maybe 15 minutes long and currently we are thinking of saying our own vows (which is something that is not allowed at a Catholic ceremony) so it is not like they would really be suffering deja vu. This is all still up in the air, but this is currently where we are leaning towards. I am appreciating all suggestions that I am recieving though so if you have any definitely feel free to share!!
Post # 34

Member
2268 posts
Buzzing bee
aileen.farrell: I honestly wouldn’t. No one is watching you get married the second time around…you will already be married (hooray!)
If you’re worried that people will have difficulty coming to the first ceremony because of the gap, I don’t think that having a second ceremony on the same day is the best way to go about things.
Post # 35

Member
11 posts
Newbee
Atalanta: The reason for the 2 ceremonies would be so the guests could have the option of not attending the Catholic ceremony but still seeing our vows that day. As I posted above, it would also give us the ability to have our own vows which is something that is not allowed in a Catholic Ceremony. Again, we are still in the planning process so it is all really up for debate at this point.
I think something that is clearly evident in all the opinions shown on the board that really no matter what is decided, there are always going to someone who will find it a great idea, a strange idea, annoying, or completely normal! That seems to be the case with most decisions, so the lesson is keep others in mind but remember to ultimately do what you and your fiance personally feel is the best, move on and enjoy the time with all your loved ones! You don’t want to regret bending over backwards so much that you forget the whole reason for the day!
Post # 36

Member
4767 posts
Honey bee
aileen.farrell: i’d def suggest not to go down this route.
basically just have immediate family at the Catholic ceremony that is being held at noon (but I think we will also let people know about it and that they are more than welcome to attend)<br /><br />This makes no sense it’s either small family only or its not. As a guest I’d def think it is odd that I’m invited to two pretty much back to back ceremonies and if I were only invited to the not real one where you actually get married, I’d feel really wierd about that too knowing that it just happened earlier…
Why r u overcomplicating things? Why are you worrying so much about what adults will do with their time travel and 3-5 hours between events.
Plan your ceremony and reception, send invites and let your guests manage their time by themselves. They don’t need you to plan a 2nd ceremony so they can have 3 extra hours of sleep. Sorry this is ridiculous.
Post # 37

Member
2053 posts
Buzzing bee
I actually think a 5 hour gap is better than A 2 hour gap. It gives your guest time to go back to the hotel, have lunch, change, take a nap, whatever. I would not think its a big deal, so I voted for the evening reception. Because what time would the afternoon reception be? 2pm – 6pm? That is a totally awkward time between meals!
Post # 38

Member
208 posts
Helper bee
aileen.farrell: Yes, that is my point 🙂 We are having our wedding in the church, too. We just got special permission from the bishop to have it at the time we wanted it, not at the time the church “said” we had to have it. Perhaps the bishop in your diocese would bend the rule for you, too?
Post # 39

Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
I’m Catholic but that 5hour gap is ridiculous. You can drive from Baltimore to NYC in that time. You could fly to another country in that time. I would do the afternoon reception. Your guests will be spending more than a full work day dealing with your wedding, and that’s crazy. Roughly 9 hours, one hour for a mass, the four hour reception… I would maybe attend the ceremony or the dinner but no way to both. Besides you’re makeup and dress and BM’s are going to look a little exhausted by the end of it all.
Post # 40

Member
398 posts
Helper bee
Meh, I actually think I’d prefer a long gap over a short gap. With 5 hours, you could nap, you could actually go out and do something, you have options. The worst gaps are the ones that’re like an hour and a half or two hours. It’s long enough to be bored and not long enough to do anything about it.
Besides, remember, a ceremony that starts at noon will end at 1:00, so the gap isn’t actually as long as it seems.