(Closed) Which is better – some time apart or lots of togetherness?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Which is better?
    It is healthier for a relationship to have some time apart from each other every now and then : (66 votes)
    80 %
    I believe in the romantic ideal of Paul and Linda - togetherness all the way, all the time : (8 votes)
    10 %
    Other: Please explain below : (9 votes)
    11 %
  • Post # 3
    500 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    I don’t know that one choice is inherently more healthy than the other, but I do appreciate having a bit of time apart every once in a while. Also, being reunited after a few days is a nice feeling πŸ™‚

    Post # 4
    574 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    Well, speaking from a military wife’s experience, time apart has been really healthy for us.  We actually live apart right now, and when we do see each other (about 1 weekend a month), it’s like we’re dating again.  So, for us, it’s been great.  I don’t want to live like this forever, but for the short term, it’s actually been a good thing for us.

    I do believe every relationship benefits from time apart.  Maybe not as extreme as us, though. πŸ™‚  But, you need to do your own thing, be your own person, and enjoy your own interests.  I’ve found that being apart has helped me not take Darling Husband for granted when he’s home.  Things like leaving the toilet seat up or socks on the floor really DON’T matter.  Communication, trust,  and appreciation for each other I think are often fostered after you’ve spent some time apart.

    I do honestly believe that the saying, ‘you don’t know what you have till it’s gone’ is very true.

    Post # 7
    3626 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Time apart, absolutely. I was SICK of Fiance this weekend; I couldn’t wait to go to work and have some alone time! Plus absence makes the heart grow fonder.

    Post # 8
    7779 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    I’m also a military wife and I LOVE having time apart. Darling Husband and I both get antsy and start to feel smothered when we’re together constantly. I really, honestly don’t understand how some couples do it, but we might just be a strange breed.

    Plus…. the sex is fantastic when you haven’t seen your partner in a while. Coming home sex is the best. πŸ™‚

    Post # 9
    1994 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    I need time apart from my SO.  Mostly because I’m extremely unproductive when he’s around. I’m in law school so I normally have at least 5-10hrs. of studying to do a day.  When we’re in the same room, I can’t help but to just goof off and be silly with him, so it’s especially nice when he’s shooting hoops with the guys or locked away in the other room playing some stupid video game.  Occasionally, I’ll go and spend a few days at my own apartment so that I can get things done.

    Post # 10
    2463 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    dh and I spend a lot of time together–he works from home and I’m a grad student so also home working most the time. And honestly, it’s really nice but it’s also a little too much–we start taking each other for granted and really need to work on making it special, having quality time togehter as well as just the quantity. we also had the opposite, and spent a year in an ldr, and that was hard too in different ways! for where we are now, it’s really kind of nice to have some time apart–he was away for a week for work and it was a good wake up call for me not to take him for granted πŸ™‚

    Post # 11
    1572 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    Fiance and I see each other almost everyday. I dont feel like we can see each other enough really, but we do make plans with our friends and there are times we don’t see each other. We were long distance for a year and a bit, so now we just take advantage of anytime we can get. I feel we are healthy in any situation and it really depends on the couples personality. 

    Post # 13
    3261 posts
    Sugar bee

    My Fiance went to Illinois the other day to scope out apartments for us. He was gone for three days and I felt depressed, lol.. so I guess I’ll vote for togetherness.

    Post # 14
    2580 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    What works best for us is a balance of the two. We’re married and live together, so we definitely spend tons of time together and socialize with friends together a lot, too. During the day, we both work full time, and during the day on the weekends we’ll usually go our separate ways (I’ll run errands or go shopping, he’ll sleep or do stuff around the house) and then in the evening we usually go out with friends together.

    We both respect when the other person needs his/her space, but in general we do enjoy spending a lot of time together. It would drive me crazy to spend 100% of our time together, though.

    Post # 15
    753 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I think it just depends on the relationship. Danny and I are for the most part kind of a package deal. It’s cool, though, it’s like hanging out with my best friend every day. Well…it is hanging out with my best friend every day! Lol. I do have  my alone time with my girls, but we never really spend EXTENDED amount of time away from each other. Like, I’m going to NY to visit family without him in May and we’re pretty bummed. I’ll definitely miss him. 

    It’s not like we ONLY SPEND TIME WITH JUST EACH OTHER, though. We go out with friends, have fun, go to parties with people, go to shows. I think it’s unhealthy to only spend time with each other and nobody else, unhealthy to isolate yourself, but I don’t think it’s unhealthy to hang out with each other every day.

    Post # 16
    1568 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Fi & I are apart sometimes, this fall I’ll be going on a Girls trip to Vegas for a long weekend. We’re both pretty independent so it doesn’t bother us. I think not being together 100% of the time keeps things lively between us and makes us really appreciate it. I think if we were together 100% of the time we would be more apt to lay around and watch tv instead of getting out and about together experiencing new things and growing together. So far it’s working, we’ve been together 7 years and living together for 5 πŸ™‚ 

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