(Closed) Which is better?

posted 8 years ago in Rings
  • poll: Which is better?
    The guy tries to surprise his fiance with a surprise ring he feels she will think is special. : (105 votes)
    54 %
    The woman picks out her own ring exactly and tells the guy to just pay for it and give it when ready : (90 votes)
    46 %
  • Post # 3
    7770 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I think it was fun to look at rings together and decide what we liked.  Then, he completely surprised me and did a great job!

    Post # 4
    7052 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Ok.  here’s what we did.  T (my H) 2 years ago at holiday time, asked me when we were having dinner after a party, what kind of e ring would I like.  We talked about it, then he changed the subject and we didn’t talk about it again.

    Fast forward, Dec. 5, 2009, he asks me to marry him under the Christmas tree.  It wasn’t exactly what I asked for, but same shape (a round stone) and it was triple the fun!  It was a 3 stone ring of my favorite shape (round)! 

    So maybe hint around to her, look thru a bridal mag w/her, or talk about it..then divert her attention for a while (my guy took the entire year to pay it off) and then surprise her!

    She’s not disappointed, there is an element of surprise, and you get to pick it out! Best of both worlds.  Best wishes!  

    Post # 5
    8353 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2011

    I think that it is better set a budget, and then go together to check out rings. I was able to pick out my own ring, and we are both glad that I did because it is not something that my Fiance would have ever thought to pick on his own. I wouldn’t have thought to pick it out on my own either, but when we went to check out rings, my ring just jumped out and said “pick me, pick me!!!” to both of us.

    Post # 6
    7300 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I think you should have a balance. My Fiance asked me to send him a wishlist. I sent him about 4 or 5 designs I would love either way. He didn’t tell me when he ordered it, when it shipped, when it was delivered, and I had NO idea he was going to propose when he did.
    I mean, during the week or so he had the ring, I stumbled across stuff. I saw FedEx deliever the ring and what not.

    You do not want to make the mistake of just picking someone out you think your Girlfriend will like unless she wears rings all the time. I would have not been happy with a three stone because it’s not my style.

    So good luck! Ask her for input, but if you want it to be a total secret (I suggest you at least talk about it and make sure you are on the same page. Watch the poor guys on Youtube with their proposal rejections) I would talk to some of her friends and maybe have them ask her or just joke around. Me and my best friend use to look at rings all the time. She could have told my Fiance I loved halo if he didn’t ask me.

    Post # 7
    5147 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    My fiance did “none of the above”. He proposed, and then he let me pick out the ring.

    Post # 9
    18 posts
    • Wedding: September 2011

    Why don’t you look at rings together and he gets some clues on what you like then he picks it out himself down the road. Surprise! 

    Post # 10
    2018 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    I was completely and totally involved in choosing my ring.  I picked it out online and told him to order it.  He had it FedExed to the house and was the first to see it and I had the perfect proposal and was completely surprised by the timing.  Plus, I got the ring of my dreams. If you have any doubts as to his expertise in choosing jewelry, go shopping with him and get what you want (most, but not all guys do not do well with hints:)  But he still has control over the actual proposal and the timing, so it doesn’t necessarily take anything away from the romantic aspect. 

    Post # 11
    1480 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    @Socrates: You can still be surprised by the proposal. I picked out my ring, Fiance ordered it, and then waited several weeks to surprise me with it. It was awesome!

    Look, why don’t you actually meet a girl and develop a serious relationship with her first before deciding what “women” do or don’t want from a proposal? Some women really want to be surprised, while other women want to be part of the ring shopping process. Some women want a bit of both. There is not one option that’s going to be the best for ALL women.

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