Post # 1
I am getting married in June and planning to invite my graduate mentor and his wife. I am not sure which is more awkward: asking him for his private address, or giving him his invitation in person? I think he has hosted parties for the lab at his house in the past but nothing of the sort has happened as of yet in my graduate career, if that is any help.
What would you do?
Post # 3
@hyperJulie: Put it in his school mailbox, haha.
Post # 4
I would hand deliver it, personally. Doesn’t seem that awkward, plus hey! One less stamp to buy!
Totally feel you on this issue though, I’m inviting a couple of my college professors that were incredibly important to me, but I live 500 miles away from them now. I think I’m probably just going to be lame and send them to their campus mail boxes.
Post # 5
@hyperJulie: Just hand deliver it and say something short and sweet like “You don’t have to say yes/no right away, of course, I just didn’t know your home address and thought I should deliver it in person”, and then move on. Or leave it in his mailbox at school. That’s what I would probably do, but then again I do avoid face to face interaction as much as possible 😉
If you’re feeling a bit uncomfortable asking for his home address, though, are you sure you want him at your wedding?
Post # 6
I would send it to his job’s address.
Post # 7
@canarydiamond: Couldn’t have said it better myself!
Post # 8
@hyperJulie: You could also try to look it up on your county property tax assesor’s website. If they own a house then their address should be listed.
Post # 9
I don’t think either way is particularly awkward. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with hand-delivering an invitation to someone you see very frequently. I also don’t think there’s anything wrong with saying, “FI and I were making our guest list and would like to invite you. Could I get your address?” Do what you’re most comfortable with!
Post # 10
I plan to invite coworkers – some of whose home addresses I don’t know. We are close at work though, so I will just give them their invites in person.
Post # 11
Use the Whitepages web site to look up his address. Unless he has a super-common name he should come up.
Post # 12
@hyperJulie: Absolutely do not ask for his home address. Give it to him in person. That’s what I did with the only work colleague I invited. Another alternative, you could post it to his work address (either via internal university mail, or the normal post system).
Also, it makes no sense to say, “Can I have your home address so I can invite you to my wedding?” when you can just as easily say, “I would ike to invite you to my wedding”. Common sense trumps etiquette, IMO.
Post # 13
You could give it to his assistant and ask him/her to address and mail it?
Post # 14
I was leaning toward giving it to him in person, especially because I’m not sure how often he checks his campus mailbox. He does not have a personal assistant who would take care of these kinds of things.
As for whether or not to invite him in the first place, I think he we have a generally good relationship, but we do not discuss our personal lives much. That said, generally we regard each other very fondly and he is and will be playing a huge role in my life so it definitely feels more weird to not invite him.