Which is your priority? God, your marriage, children, yourself?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1830 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

My #1 priority is myself, and it will always be, even when we get married. I love my SO, but he’s a grown man and can take care of himself day-to-day. I don’t really think marriage in and of itself is all that special. It’s just legal protection. Letting yourself or your relationship slip because your married, or vice versa – going crazy about “making the marriage work” almost seems like letting a third party into a 2 person relationship. Just let it be. To me, relationships aren’t work if you’re with the right person.

I’ve always said I’m way too selfish to have children, and I mean it. I would resent children taking away “me” or “us” time, so probably just not going down that route! Also, am not religious so that’s out.

Post # 4
Member
416 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

My Fiance and I both have 2 kids each, and we have decided that our priorities will be 1. God, 2. Marriage, 3. kids and so far it has work out great for us. Im not saying that we havent run across some snags but it helps when when both parents are on the same page.

Post # 5
Member
1695 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

1. God. 2. Marriage. 3. Kids

Post # 6
Member
567 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

THe way it should be is 1. God 2. Marriage 3. Children. I was always taught growing up you are a child of god 1st, wife  2nd then mother. Not saying that I abide by this but this was how I was taught.

Post # 7
Member
2494 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Not being religious, I’m going to say my kids, my marriage, my self.

Post # 8
Member
9483 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

Children and marriage are equal.  Then comes me.

Post # 9
Member
3772 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Rouquine:  I agree marriage and children have to have a good balance. They are EXTREMELY integral to each other and if you always put one of them second that that part will suffer. 

So my order is: 1. God 2/3. Children/Marraige 4. Me

Post # 10
Member
155 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Always God, Children, Marriage, Me. Children don’t ask to come here and we are responsible for our kids above all else. I feel like putting my marriage before my children would be very selfish of me.

Post # 11
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Being an atheist, god isn’t part of the equation in my life. As far as the others are concerned, I don’t really think its cut and dry. For instance, I would put myself above my marriage but I wouldn’t put myself above my husband, in that I would die for him. Same goes for my future children. I wouldn’t risk my well being just for the sake of my relationship but for the sake of my family? Absolutely. When it comes to my marriage vs. my (hypothetical) children, I would put my marriage first. Our marriage is what holds our family together. Without our marriage, there would be no family (of course “families” come in all shapes and sizes but I’m talking in general). That doesn’t mean I won’t love my children with every fiber of my being but they’ll always be a part of me. Being a parent takes work but nothing will ever change the fact that I birthed them. When it comes to marriage, that can end at any time. Obviously we’re not talking extremes like abuse or what not. If either myself or my husband ever became abusive (or something equally as detrimental to our own/children’s well being), we would expect the other parent to do what’s right for the sake of our family and if that means leaving then so be it.  

ETA: Does this make sense? lol Reading it back, it sounds kind of confusing but I know what I’m trying to say. 

Post # 12
Member
1030 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t have kids yet, but when I do I know it will be

1) my children   2) my marriage   3) myself

I have already put my relationship over myself and would do it again and again. making him happy is what makes him happy, and if i have to sacrifice something (ie my career) to give him the opportunity to do what he loves in life (his career) than I am more than willing.

that, however, will change when we have children. he knows that however much he loves his job, he must never put that before our kids. i’m giving him that opportunity now so he can put more energy into his family later on.

Post # 13
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I believe in a higher power, but he has no say or affect in my life. So, without its presence, and not having kids, it’s me first and then my marriage (followed by dog).

When I have kids, they will move to the top.

Post # 14
Member
4693 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@UpstateCait:  It makes sense to me, and I agree with you.

Post # 15
Member
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

I’m Christian so, 1) God (I believe making this the main priority helps keep everything else together), and I think Children and Marriage should be equal. That said, both my Darling Husband and I would do what is best for the children before what is best for ourselves… which includes keeping our marriage strong.

Post # 16
Member
3978 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@UpstateCait:  That makes perfect sense. I think it was really well expressed and I agree with you.

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