Post # 1
Which name(s) play into your identity the most?
As I was practicing my someday-to-be signature (shameful, I know, but I was procrastinating practicing writing characters for homework ;P), I was playing around with different ways we could combine our names.
My last name, although unpronouncable to everyone (even my friend often forget the right way to say it), is a part of my identity, and I love it, because it’s a connection to my family, ethnic history, and past.
My midde name, on the other hand, I’ve always hated. I think it’s ugly sounding and looking, it’s old fashioned, and I only inherited it because it was my grandmother and mothers’ middle names. But even as I wrote my potential-name without it, it felt incomplete. Whenever people ask what my middle name is, I balk at telling them – if I cut it out, that piece of my identity will be gone.
I’ll probably end up with either MyFirst MyMiddle MyLastAsAMiddle HisLast (and he may be adding MyLast as a middle as well; we’re going to see how much paperwork it involves), or else MyFirst MyLastAsMiddle HisLast.
Identity is a strange thing.
Post # 3
My entire childhood I went by my first name which is extremely difficult to pronounce and to me at least has a negative ethnic connotation. When I graduated college I began using my middle name and I love it. So I identify with my middle name. As far as last names, it will be scary to let my last name go, but it will be continued on with my brother’s and nephews so I am not too upset about that… sigh…
btw I never practice how to write my new last name… how strange lol!!
Post # 4
This is one of the main reasons why I’m keeping my name. I’ve always had a difficult to pronounce last name and although I didn’t particulry like it as a kid, I’ve grown to realize it is a part of who I am.
I’ve been debating this for awhile since I’ve always been raised to think that taking on a new name when you get married is the traditional thing to do. But after living in a part of Asia for a year where it wasn’t traditional for women to change their name, and seeing how people function with their mother’s having a different name, I was convinced.
Overall I think I lucked out because my Fi’s family have no kind of traditional or personal sentiments with keeping their surname. In fact his father and mother took on his father’s mother’s name. Another thing I really seem to like it how no one uses Mr. and Mrs. Lastname. It is always Woman’s first name and Man’s first name then Lastname. The surname is closest to the person it belonged to when addressing married couples with the same last name. Registering a super long name is also not odd since they specify on the registery which name is actually used (and it’s not always the first name) – for instance years ago, it was commonly practiced to have the middle name in use, and not the first name.
Post # 5
- Wedding: May 2010 - Philippe Park
I love my entire name, so I’m not giving up any of it. Clearly I’m attached to my first name, I have a very unique middle name, which I love to death, and my last name is my family name and is just non-negotiable. Luckily I found a man that’s totally okay with that 🙂
Post # 6
I identify with my middle name and for business my first name. My middle name is Sunshine and I’ve been called Sunny since I can remember. If I thought it was appropriate I’d go by Sunshine at work but I just think it would cause more balks than anything, so at work I use my first name. My last name is like Jones and therefore it bothers me none at all to lose it. I love my FI’s last name its a little bit different and not so common and I cannot wait to take it. If my last name wasn’t so bland I would definately want to keep it but it means very little to me.
Post # 7
My first and my middle name have much more meaning to me than my maiden name which is why I didn’t have a problem taking my husbands last name. My name is Teresa Ann and it reminds me of my moms Italian/Catholic heritage. And my dad (who was not raised Catholic and is mostly German) insisted I be named Teresa Ann. It was the only girls name he liked. So while I didn’t keep his last name when I got married, I still feel like I have a part of my dad with me always. Growing up, my mom (who passed away 6 years ago) called me either Terri or Tessa Bella and I will always have memories of her saying my name with an Italian accent. Ann is a family name-a couple of aunts, my grandmother, and now my neice have the name Ann in some form. So for me, it’s my first and middle names that have more meaning and memories for me.
Post # 8
This is an interesting thread. For me, I think only my first and middle names really have significance for me. My maiden name was my dad’s–and I don’t have a relationship with him, so I’m not sentimental about it. I changed my name about 7 months ago, so I’m still connecting with my new last name.
Post # 9
I like my entire name, and will just add his on to the end, turning my maiden name into a second middle name. I’m very excited to start using his name.
Post # 10
I know a girl who recently got engaged, and she was appalled to hear I was keeping my maiden name in any capacity, and talked about how she always knew when she got married she would get a new last name, thus never getting attached to her own (maiden) name. It’s interesting to me how differently people think; I can’t imagine having a name for more than 30 years and having NO attachment to it!
She also said she is already looking forward to adopting her husband’s identity in his name (she said this before they were even engaged), which was interesting. I can understand his name being part of your identity after marriage, but before? Not me 🙂
Post # 11
I used to only be attached to my first and middle names. I have four names, so having 2 middle names always made me ‘unique’ among my friends. However, and I think I mentioned this on WB before, in Korea, people can’t understand my last name. It’s a ‘Mc’ Scottish name, and everyone things my last name is ‘Mac’. In fact, my HEALTH INSURANCE says Firstname MAK….as if that’s my last name! I’ve tried to explain it to people before, but I’ve yet to meet a person who thinks it is strange that an official document only includes the first few letters of my last name. Therefore, in the last 4 years I’ve become uber attached to my name in it’s entirety and will not be giving up a single letter when I get married!
Post # 13
My first name…I am named after my father and so even though I will be changing my last name, I will still feel connected to my family. I don’t have a middle name so I will just be sliding my last name over one space to the left.
Post # 14
Kewl thread. So I am attached to my First Name (never went by anything else, it’s me!) and Middle name (it’s Korean so I love it very much) for sure. Professionally, I am attached to my Last name (which is kinda generic) because I have published papers under it. Most women in my field keep their full name and don’t adopt their husband’s…but I want to somehow! So I have no idea what I’m doing in regards to adopting my FI’s name. He is also attached to his name professionally, so there will be no changing that. I will be graduating with my PhD a year after I get married…but all my work prior to that is published under my maiden name. So I think I might be First Middle Last HisLast legally…but go by First Last HisLast socially. But that doesn’t make me really happy because I love my middle name. Blah, the name game can be a hard one!
Post # 15
I was named for my maternal grandmother, in both my first and middle names, so I already have the family ties via that route. While I’ve always liked my maiden name well enough, it’s one of those “Men’s name – son” names that are relatively common and obnoxiously long. I think if I had a more unique name that spoke more about my heritage, I’d be more attached to it, but most people who share my maiden name aren’t of the same race as me, let alone from the same family-line. My married name is a delightful 5 short letters long, and flows wonderfully with my first name, as well as my middle name. It’s a far less halting and clunky name than my maiden name was, and I adore it. My only regret is in having to share my new surname with a few annoying celebrities. Yech.
Post # 16
i identify mostly with my last name – in my profession people call you by your last name alot, and it stuck. other than that, its my initials, AK, also a nickname for me, which it will be weird to be something else. the good thing is at least my last name melds well with my existing names. I will probably do Firstname Middlename Maidenname HisLastName as my new name, i will be sorry to not be my last name anymore though. its only girls, and im the youngest, and its kinda a well recognized name in our social circle *sob*