(Closed) Which of the following 'kid free wedding' scenarios do you find offensive?(POLL)

posted 5 years ago in Family
  • poll: Which of the following 'kid free wedding' scenarios do you find offensive?

    Kid free wedding in any form. My kids are a part of me - don't invite me and not them.

    They have flower girls / ring bearers but other kids aren't invited

    Family-guests' kids ARE invited but friend-guests' kids ARE NOT invited

    Immediate family's kids (bride or groom's nieces and nephews) not invited

    Breast feeding infants not invited

    Out of town guests' kids not invited

    No kids due to bride/groom preference as opposed to inappropriate venue/costs/maximum headcount etc.

    Kids can come if needed but have to stay in supervised (fun!) crèche and not allowed to join adults

    None of the above. If I have kids I might not attend for logistical reasons but not upset/offended

  • Post # 2
    Member
    211 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    I don’t have kids, so a kid-free wedding wouldn’t really affect me.  But I have to say, I find the idea really off-putting.  When I think of weddings, I think of family, and kids are part of two families coming together.  I’ve never been to a wedding where kids were not present.  I had never even heard of banning kids from weddings till I started getting active on wedding forums.

    However, the more I read people’s reactions and such, the more I understand why some couples make that choice.  It would still feel weird to me to attend a wedding without children, but now that I know there are more reasons beyond “we just don’t want them there,” I’m definitely more understanding.  I sort of understand why people get upset or offended, but I also get the couple’s perspective, so I don’t find it offensive.

    Post # 4
    Member
    945 posts
    Busy bee

    For me I dont mind if its an all out no kids wedding, but if some people are allowed and others aren’t it seems a bit rude in my opinion.

    If I had a newborn/breastfeeding a little one, I probably just wouldn’t go to be honest, and wouldnt expect them to make an exception unless they are family to us or really close. Hmm hang on now Im contradicting myself! I guess if my kids werent invited but other kids their age were I would feel weird but if tiny babies were invited but older children werent I wouldn’t care. I think…

    Post # 5
    Member
    510 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    If your going for no kids and I make other arrangements for my kids then see flower girls there I would flip my lid. You can’t have a blurry line. No kids, or no kids under 10 or whatever the rule is it needs to be black and white easy.

    Post # 6
    Member
    382 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2017 - Rossino Castle

    Here in Italy (at least in the north) all weddings are child free weddings unless otherwise specified,so I don’t really see a problem with this.I don’t get why people would want to bring kids to a wedding.People get drunk,say and do crass or gross things,it’s loud and just all around an inappropriate place for a kid to be at.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1066 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    I dont have children yet, however i understand and respect peoples decisions to have a child free wedding. My only exception would be if i was exclusively breastfeeding – tiny babies shouldnt get in the way and it takes out the options of getting a babysitter.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1277 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    View original reply
    berrybelle:  I’m quite happy to respect the happy couple’s wishes when it comes to inviting or not inviting children to their wedding; however, there were two situations in your poll that might irk me a little. 

    The first was having different rules for family and friends. I tend to think it should be even across the board. If you want to have an adult only affair then I totally support that, but not inviting only some children doesn’t sit well with me. It seems like it would solely be a money saving exercise in that situation. If people had flower girls and ring bearers for the ceremony only (i.e. they didn’t attend the reception), that wouldn’t necessarily bother me too much though. It’s funny where we each ‘draw the line’. 

    The other is with infants that are being breast fed. I feel like if you’re not willing to let friends who are in this situation bring their little ones or have them nearby in some sort of convenient capacity then you’re basically saying you’d rather they didn’t attend at all. It sucks, but when we’re talking about true infants here, that’s often what that would mean.

    I don’t think either of these situations would ‘offend’ me as such, but they are probably something that would bother me if I was affected. Good thread idea – will be interesting to see if there’s a general consensus…

    Post # 9
    Member
    1406 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I would be surprised if nieces and nephews were not invited, but I do not know if I would be offended.

    Post # 10
    Member
    1406 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    View original reply
    nessdawwg:  
    View original reply
    Miss_Mae:  I understand the difficulties facing the mom of an infant, especially if the mom is breastfeeding. This would be a tough call with a close relative because it would probably mean mom can’t attend.

    However, I know of a situation where an infant cried during the ceremony, mom did not remove the baby, and the vows were inaudible on the video that was being made  — drowned out by the baby’s cries.

    Post # 11
    Member
    553 posts
    Busy bee

    None of this would offend me.  In fact, I find it offensive that some parents expect their kids to be invited and make a fuss over it.

    Post # 12
    Member
    1307 posts
    Bumble bee

    I wouldn’t be offended at all.  FI and I wanted a child free wedding, however it meant a lot of his close cousins would not be able to attend.  If people have expressed they are coming already sans children, that’s cool.  I have a feeling however that several will show up with kids…it’s not a big deal if they do to me.

    If people are pissed at me if someone shows up with their kids because I didn’t invite their entire family, whatever.  

    Post # 13
    Member
    2531 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I would be perfectly happy if family children were invited only but I would be annoyed if I couldn’t bring my baby who was breastfeeding. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    3729 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: City, State

    View original reply
    berrybelle:  the only time I get judging is if you don’t allow infants under 6 months. I personally believe kids should be invited to weddings and parents should ensure they will behave.

    Post # 15
    Member
    7564 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I personally would make exceptions to the breast feeding infant and maybe the out of town kids but I also wouldn’t be offended if someone didn’t make an exception for me.

    The topic ‘Which of the following 'kid free wedding' scenarios do you find offensive?(POLL)’ is closed to new replies.

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