Post # 1
I often see kid free wedding posts on the bee and have personally had this issue at my wedding. General consensus on here seems to be it’s the bride and groom’s day so respect their wishes, but I’ve also seen comments where people feel there should be exceptions to this, such as for breast feeding infants or immediate family’s kids.
It would be really interesting to see which particular scenarios offend people. Please vote not on whether you’d come or not for logistical reasons, but whether you’d be offended and find it rude. E.g. if you’re a breast feeding mum who doesn’t pump you wouldn’t be able to come for logistical reasons, but would you find it offensive that your child isn’t invited?
Post # 2
I don’t have kids, so a kid-free wedding wouldn’t really affect me. But I have to say, I find the idea really off-putting. When I think of weddings, I think of family, and kids are part of two families coming together. I’ve never been to a wedding where kids were not present. I had never even heard of banning kids from weddings till I started getting active on wedding forums.
However, the more I read people’s reactions and such, the more I understand why some couples make that choice. It would still feel weird to me to attend a wedding without children, but now that I know there are more reasons beyond “we just don’t want them there,” I’m definitely more understanding. I sort of understand why people get upset or offended, but I also get the couple’s perspective, so I don’t find it offensive.
Post # 3
It’s awesome that you’re open minded enough to see other people’s viewpoints! I tried browsing through some mothering forums to get my head around what’s so offensive but I guess I’ll just never be able to understand the ‘my kids ARE me’ argument haha
Post # 4
For me I dont mind if its an all out no kids wedding, but if some people are allowed and others aren’t it seems a bit rude in my opinion.
If I had a newborn/breastfeeding a little one, I probably just wouldn’t go to be honest, and wouldnt expect them to make an exception unless they are family to us or really close. Hmm hang on now Im contradicting myself! I guess if my kids werent invited but other kids their age were I would feel weird but if tiny babies were invited but older children werent I wouldn’t care. I think…
Post # 5
If your going for no kids and I make other arrangements for my kids then see flower girls there I would flip my lid. You can’t have a blurry line. No kids, or no kids under 10 or whatever the rule is it needs to be black and white easy.
Post # 6
- Wedding: September 2017 - Rossino Castle
Here in Italy (at least in the north) all weddings are child free weddings unless otherwise specified,so I don’t really see a problem with this.I don’t get why people would want to bring kids to a wedding.People get drunk,say and do crass or gross things,it’s loud and just all around an inappropriate place for a kid to be at.
Post # 7
I dont have children yet, however i understand and respect peoples decisions to have a child free wedding. My only exception would be if i was exclusively breastfeeding – tiny babies shouldnt get in the way and it takes out the options of getting a babysitter.
Post # 8
I’m quite happy to respect the happy couple’s wishes when it comes to inviting or not inviting children to their wedding; however, there were two situations in your poll that might irk me a little.
The first was having different rules for family and friends. I tend to think it should be even across the board. If you want to have an adult only affair then I totally support that, but not inviting only some children doesn’t sit well with me. It seems like it would solely be a money saving exercise in that situation. If people had flower girls and ring bearers for the ceremony only (i.e. they didn’t attend the reception), that wouldn’t necessarily bother me too much though. It’s funny where we each ‘draw the line’.
The other is with infants that are being breast fed. I feel like if you’re not willing to let friends who are in this situation bring their little ones or have them nearby in some sort of convenient capacity then you’re basically saying you’d rather they didn’t attend at all. It sucks, but when we’re talking about true infants here, that’s often what that would mean.
I don’t think either of these situations would ‘offend’ me as such, but they are probably something that would bother me if I was affected. Good thread idea – will be interesting to see if there’s a general consensus…
Post # 9
I would be surprised if nieces and nephews were not invited, but I do not know if I would be offended.
Post # 10
I understand the difficulties facing the mom of an infant, especially if the mom is breastfeeding. This would be a tough call with a close relative because it would probably mean mom can’t attend.
However, I know of a situation where an infant cried during the ceremony, mom did not remove the baby, and the vows were inaudible on the video that was being made — drowned out by the baby’s cries.
Post # 11
None of this would offend me. In fact, I find it offensive that some parents expect their kids to be invited and make a fuss over it.
Post # 12
I wouldn’t be offended at all. FI and I wanted a child free wedding, however it meant a lot of his close cousins would not be able to attend. If people have expressed they are coming already sans children, that’s cool. I have a feeling however that several will show up with kids…it’s not a big deal if they do to me.
If people are pissed at me if someone shows up with their kids because I didn’t invite their entire family, whatever.
Post # 13
I would be perfectly happy if family children were invited only but I would be annoyed if I couldn’t bring my baby who was breastfeeding.
Post # 14
the only time I get judging is if you don’t allow infants under 6 months. I personally believe kids should be invited to weddings and parents should ensure they will behave.
Post # 15
I personally would make exceptions to the breast feeding infant and maybe the out of town kids but I also wouldn’t be offended if someone didn’t make an exception for me.