- 5 years ago
- Wedding: September 2015
Depending on the time of the event, I would say that I find leaving a few months old for few hours bearable for some, but I would not leave a 6 months child for a weekend, for example (and yes, I would travel with a healthy 6 months child).
I’m generally hard to offend, so I’m not offended by the idea of child free weddings. The only thing I’d really see as wrong would be inviting family kids but not friend kids (unless you’re only inviting the flower girl/ring bearers, to me that’s different). As a (hopefully) soon to be breastfeeding mom I would be extremely grateful to be able to bring a breastfeeding infant if it’s an out of town wedding. But, if I couldn’t, I’d be annoyed but not really offended.
All that being said – I love when there are kids at weddings and consider them family friendly events. It baffles me to hear that people think kids don’t have fun at weddings or that their parents can’t have fun if their kids are at a wedding. Maybe they go to different kinds of weddings than I do. At my wedding, there were tons of kids from newborns to a couple teenagers. The kids had a ball running around on the lawn at the cocktail hour, they ate the same buffet everyone else ate, and they absolutely tore it up on the dance floor, which encouraged more adults to dance as well. Yes, there was an open bar and some guests were feeling the influence and I don’t think it did any of the kids any harm. They get a chance to learn that sometimes adults drink to much and act silly. So while it’s fine to have an adult only wedding, don’t make it sound like having a wedding that includes kids is wrong, either. (not that you made it sound like that, OP, but several commenters have said things along those lines.)
To me it boils down to whether the couple have any sort of relationship with the children in question. Most people are close to their neices and nephews so it stands to reason that they are a natural inclusion in the guest list but most people do not have close bond with their friends children and to expect people to pay $100 a head or so to have them at the wedding just so they can accompany their parents is a little selfish on the part of the parents. Little breastfeeding babies are a no -brainer. Of course they should be included if the mother is truly wanted there.
I think children add a wonderful dimension to the celebrations. I have fond memories of attending weddings as a child. Having said that I respect people’s right to have a child-free event. If the couple mattered to me I wouldn’t hesitate to organsie babysitting so I could be there to celebrate their nuptials.
they had over cranked the heater in the room so it was extremely stuffy and all the babies started to fuss at different points, all were removed before they had even gotten to crying mode, within about ten seconds of a tiny noise being made. It’s not difficult if you are a normal respectful person. that’s just awful about the wedding you experienced, I would have lost it at the mum.
i would however never remove a close friend/family member from the guest list or made them feel unwelcome because they had an infant. New mums often feel isolated enough as it is.
now if I was having a child free wedding and a friend/family member couldnt be bothered organising a babysitter for the night for their non breastfeeding, toddler and up children? They are making that choice and I would be happy to not invite them/accept their decline.
We had a kid free wedding besides our ring bearer and flower girl from out of state. It was our choice as we don’t have children, and it’s our wedding that we didn’t want kids at. No need for anyone to be offended- If people wanted to RSVP no, they could have.
I think kid-free weddings are sad.
I also think it’s the couple’s choice, and if they don’t want kids… that’s fine.
I haven’t read through all of these responses, but we only invited kids that we were related to. These includes our newphews (who were our ring bearers), and then cousins kids. Dh has a large family, so there was still plenty of kids.
Most of our friends with kids were happy to have a night out and away for adult-time, so we didn’t feel like it was an issue. They knew about the wedding well in advance to make plans for a baby sitter.
I only had one person (a friends wife, I know him better than her), who asked me about it when they saw the Children’s Meal option on our RSVP but only invited the couple. I explained the reason and said if she wanted to bring their child, that was fine… but then one of you has to stay home since we only have 2 seats available for your party. I laughed inside because she was one who was very bridezilla about extra guests when they got married, and even told a GM’s wife that a friend of hers that was in town couldn’t even come to the dance later in the evening… which was after we ate so no additional cost would have been created.
I don’t care who another bride invites to her wedding. If she wants no kids, or some kids, that’s her choice.
If I were nursing a baby who wasn’t allowed, I just wouldn’t come. My babies didn’t take bottles and I didn’t pump.
If I had to travel and my children weren’t invited, I just wouldn’t come. I had no problem leaving my children with a sitter for an evening, but never overnight. Not even for a family member would I do that.
Good grief…this is the couples choice…end of discussion.
Yes, back in the day weddings were “family affairs” but that was also a time when weddings only included cake and mints and punch. These days weddings can cost a lot of money, and how that couple chooses to spend that money is up to them.
I was married a year ago and we had this same issue with our friends. Most of our friends were married in their mid to late 20’s, before anyone had kids. We were married in our early 30’s, and low and behold folks are acting like they don’t remember how difficult it is a plan this sort of thing. We decided to only invite children who were relatives – which ended up being my 2 nieces, his 1 niece and 1 nephew, and 1 cousin whose mother (my aunt who used to babysit me as a kid) wouldn’t be able to come otherwise because she would never have the money to get a sitter.
If someone had had the gall to ask me about it, I would have told them where to go. Couples spend a lot of money on weddings these day and have every right to choose their guest list accordingly. And if you don’t like it, don’t go. It’s really not a big deal. As someone who will be a mother in the near future, that’s what I plan to do. Either we’ll get someone to watch the little one or we’ll send a nice gift. No big deal!
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