Post # 1
I’m adopted and met my biological family 6 years ago. We had a major falling out and we still arent speaking. My youngest sister wasn’t told who I really was at the time of our meeting. Our mom just told her that I was a family friend. They wanted to wait until she was 18 to tell her that I was her sister. Anyways, I ended up accidentally telling her a few years ago, and we’ve been talking in secret ever since. We’re not as close as I wish were, but we text every day and send pictures, and act goofy via snapchat. (She only has an ipod and isn’t allowed to have a phone, so we can’t actually talk.) I love her more than anyone on this planet, and the fact that she’s risking so much talking to me behind their backs means the world to me.
On the other hand, I’ve been best friends with this girl since she was 7 and I was 9. We’re now 22 and 24. I always thought she’d be my Maid/Matron of Honor. She was there for both of my proms, stopped me from screaming at my mom, and is really good at holding me together.
So now I don’t know who to choose. I really want it to be my little sister, but she lives 1000 miles away and won’t be able to help with a lot of stuff, plus it’ll probably upset my best friend.
Post # 2
fairytalecowgirl: So now I don’t know who to choose. I really want it to be my little sister, but she lives 1000 miles away and won’t be able to help with a lot of stuff, plus it’ll probably upset my best friend. <br /><br />
Your sister is already going through a lot to talk to you. I would ask her to be a bridesmaid, and ask your friend to be Maid/Matron of Honor. That way, Sister is still involved, but the burden of planning falls on the Maid/Matron of Honor, who is physically closer to you, and has less hoops to jump through in the beginning. I think if you make your sister Maid/Matron of Honor you’re asking for an upset from your estranged family.
Post # 3
fairytalecowgirl: How old is your sister? It sounds like she is still rather young if she isn’t allowed to have a phone. Also, are her parents aware that she knows you are her sister? If not, don’t you think it would take them by surprise for you to ask her to be your MOH? Would they allow that? and help her to get to the wedding?
If her parents are ok with it, then given her age and the distance she lives from you, I suggest you ask them both to be co-MOH’s. Your sister won’t be old enough or close enough to help arrange things like a shower or bachelorette (should the birdal party choose to host) and the friend can assume those responsibilities. Your sister’s title would be more honorary.
Post # 4
- Wedding: September 2012 - Southern California
Will your sister even be able to stand by you? I would make my BFF Maid/Matron of Honor because she’s always been there for you. Can you maybe make both of the MOH? Two special people both deserve such a special role, imo.
Post # 5
My little sister is 17. Her parents recently found out that we’ve been talking and are ok with it. They said they want nothing to do with me, but I’m her sister and they can’t stop her from wanting to know me. lol, that doesn’t really sound like they’re ok with it, but trust me that’s a big step.
I thought about making both of them my Maid/Matron of Honor, but it seems weird because there are only 4 girls total. That would be a good idea though, and I think everyone would understand.
Post # 6
fairytalecowgirl: I have four girls total, and I have two MOHs! There was no way I’d pick between my sister and my best friend, so I’m having two. No one has batted an eyelash 😉
Post # 7
fairytalecowgirl: I would pick your friend as your Maid/Matron of Honor. Or have your friend as Maid/Matron of Honor and sister as Co-MOH/Junior Maid/Matron of Honor.
Post # 8
By all means, pick both. If you do, you may wind up scoring some points with your birth family, but even if that doesn’t happen, you’ll still be giving special honor to the connection between you and DS.
Because she really is very young, your other Maid/Matron of Honor can guide some of the things DS won’t be able to manage because of the distance and her age.
I personally think the idea of CoMOH or Junior Maid/Matron of Honor is just kind of a wordy way of saying the same thing you’d be doing anyway.
It is your wedding, and there’s nothing wrong with having as many MOHs as are important to you. Do it 🙂