- 4 years ago
Hi bees! I’m a little lost and looking for input from others.
I’m 25, married for five months to my husband who is 32. I have a bachelors degree in sociology, and he works in the science field. Recently, he was given an amazing work opportunity which has us moving to Iceland (eeeek!) for two years.
My goals, career wise, are to go back to school for my MSW, and then go into social work. The degree would take me about two years. I would also like to start a family, as would my husband. I’ve looked into it, and going to grad school in Iceland wouldn’t be an option for me, and neither would having a baby (I would prefer to be in America with my family and doctors). So, these next two years is just about finding a jobin Iceland, having an adventure and supporting Fiance in his field right now.
Because I’m crazy and neurotic, I’ve been thinking about our eventual return to the US and what we may do then. The way I see it, I either have to focus on a baby, or on school. So these are my options:
1. Go to grad school. I could plan and apply so that I could start in the fall of the year we get back, and postpone trying to conceive. The program would take me two years, then I would need some time to find a job, get settled in my career, etc. So by the time we get around to TTC, I would probably be 31/32 and Fiance would be 37/38. He doesn’t like this idea, because he hates the idea of having his first child when he’s close to 40. I don’t think that’s old, but he’s unhappy with it.
2. Postpone grad school, and start TTC when we return home. I would be 27, Fiance 34. Grad school and social work would be postponed indefinitely I guess, until we’re done having babies. I would still be working sort of in my field during this time, just not as a licensed social worker which is what I ultimately want.
now I know things don’t always go according to plan, and a lot could change or happen, but let’s say everything works as it should: which would you do? Would you postpone a family or grad school?
Or has anybody done both? gone for a degree while pregnant or with a baby? I don’t know which is better. I don’t want to wait to have kids, and I don’t want Fiance to feel uncomfortable about being an older dad. But I also don’t want to postpone my degree or career.
which would you pick? Any or all advice welcome!