(Closed) Which would you choose, grad school/career or baby?

posted 7 years ago in Married Life
Post # 31
Member
575 posts
Busy bee

I am very career-oriented myself, but if it is true that you cannot take any classes while there, then it seems like the ideal time to have the baby in Iceland. You have two years off – no commitments and the baby is the ideal way to socialize with other people in a foreign country, where the language could be an issue.

Post # 32
Member
2423 posts
Buzzing bee

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NYBeee123:  I would want my career in place but honestly, as career-oriented as I think you should be (translation: very), I don’t understand why you don’t want to have the baby in Iceland. If you’re not going to have a job or be going to school, what will you be doing? If you had the baby in the first year you were in Iceland, you’d have an entire year to spend with him/her and then be able to go back to school after you get back to the States. That seems perfect. I don’t understand why you’re not willing to consider it.

Could you maybe do coursework for a year while in Iceland and then the clinical placements when you get back? I have no idea how a master’s in social work works, so I don’t know if that would actually work. If it doesn’t work that way, I think starting TTC in the second year of your master’s is a great compromise and what I would suggest you go for. I hope this helps: http://www.cswe.org/Accreditation/Information/DistanceEducation.aspx

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beetee123:  Lol one of my friends is a nanny and she says it’s the best birth control when I ask her if her job makes her want to have kids.

Post # 33
Member
4997 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Why can’t you do grad school abroad? I would do that, or do it online, during the 2 years your husband is there. Realistically, the odds of going back to school after having a baby are quite slim. I knew one girl in grad school with a daughter, and she dropped out after a few years. Granted it was a PhD program, but still.

Post # 34
Member
4496 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I had already finished grad school by the time I had a baby, but one of my friends who was in my same grad program had a baby during grad school. She took one semester off and then finished it. Another friend of mine was in her first year of a PhD program when she had her baby. She also took a semester off and then picked back up again.

I don’t see it as being that different from working while starting a family. It’s hard, yes, but you make it work — you take a maternity leave and arrange child care as you do with any work.

Of course it’s your decision to make; I’m just offering another perspective. Perhaps you can do both.

ETA: sorry, I realize my comment sounds incredibly naive — of course the difference between working and school is money!! So I get that a lot of people aren’t going to want to be in school when they have a baby, if they need two incomes. Just offering something to think about, but obviously you know your situation best!

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 11 months ago by .
Post # 35
Member
4692 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I wouldn’t put my life on hold for 2 years when I had specific goals in mind.

You want to complete your education and start a family, I would place more importance on the education and look into online programs.

If you work a whatever job in Iceland for 2 years, get back and do your MSW for 2 years, you’ll be TTC in 4 years. Is that ok with you?

 

Post # 36
Member
191 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

As someone who is going in to a similar field (but with a longer grad program), i highly recommend you do not pursue an online degree in social work. you just will not get the same experience and specialized training with the popuations you want to work with. Getting trained in clinical work over the internet just doesn’t make sense. However, if you are getting an MSW to pursue research or other non-profit work, it might work, but I dunno..

I also have some of your concerns about career/baby. You and I are the same age, but I have 5 more years left before I’m done. At this point, I am waiting to start a family. However, I have told myself that if I start wanting to start a family earlier than I will puruse it… you never know how your plan might change. If I were you, I would do all that you need to do while in Iceland to set it up so that you are attending a graduate program in the fall (unless of course your goal is to be a stay at home mom). Once you’re back, you can figure out if you would want to have a baby in grad school, take a semester off, etc.

Good luck and have fun!

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 11 months ago by Cammy99.
Post # 38
Member
2843 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I’d do schooling first, then kids.

Post # 39
Member
177 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I didn’t read through all of the replies, so I apologize if someone already mentioned this. But University of New England and University of Southern California both have accredited distance learning MSWs that allow you to complete coursework online and then your field placement where you are. Good luck! 🙂

Post # 40
Member
7084 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

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NYBeee123:  I agree with what you said in a previous response… start graduate school right away, and TTC during your second year so you have the baby right after you defend.  I know people who have done this.  Heck, I’m thinking about doing this… and I’m a Ph.D. student.  It happens all the time.  I know someone who had two kids while earning her Ph.D!  The second born just 4-5 months before she defended.

Post # 41
Member
46 posts
Newbee

I would choose baby, but then again I am a soci grad student struggling to finish a thesis I kind of hate, so I am biased. 

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 11 months ago by becca89.
Post # 42
Member
3716 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: City, State

Could you do grad school online from Iceland? Then start working while TTC when you get back?

 

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NYBeee123:  

Post # 43
Member
5356 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2016

Yay for Soci majors! I’m a double major with Soci and Criminal Justice! Me personally, I would have kids but that’s just my opinion. 

Post # 44
Member
2423 posts
Buzzing bee

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NYBeee123:   I mentioned this thread to one of my MSW friends, and she recommended that you don’t do the MSW via distance learning because she thinks you’ll learn more from a traditional program if you want to be clinically concentrated. Taking that and the most recent updates into account, I think you should start grad school as soon as you get back to the US and TTC in the second year of your master’s.

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