Post # 17
@CelticBeachBride: I’m not requiring it. But I’ve already asked them and I know they all will want it. I also said I am not counting it as the whole “gift,” and would be including an actual material item with it. It just wouldn’t be a very expensive one. And when I have been a Bridesmaid or Best Man in the past, the gifts have been pretty modest, which I was fine with. So I don’t think anyone will feel that I cheaper out by “only” getting them a $40 gift plus hair & MU. 🙂
Post # 18
@laureneliz87: I would prefer a personalized item (not with my initials), but not some generic thing you got every bridesmaid. Shop like it is my birthday. I am am my own person and may not like what your dear friend susie likes.
Post # 19
@blueEyes90: Thanks for the input. I am planning on getting each girl a personalized item regardless of which option I end up doing. I only included examples to give an idea of the difference in price. For example, if I went with the hair/MU option, my friend who loves tea would get some nice teas and a new mug, rather than an entrie multi-box of imported teas and brewing/steeping tools.
I was really just asking if people would prefer a more expensive gift, or a less expensive gift plus hair and makeup.
Post # 20
I think if you want your bridesmaids to have their hair and make up done professionally, you should be paying for it. And not as a “gift”.
But if I was being forced (or peer pressured) into paying for my own hair and make up, I’d rather the bride got me a less expensive gift and instead paid for the styling. I would resent having to pay my own money to fit someone else’s idea of what I should look like, especially if I’d already had to shell out on a dress and shoes.
Post # 21
- Wedding: November 2019 - City, State
@SilvanArrow: Yes, x1000 thank you!
I find everyone gets so wrapped up in ettiquite and what you are and arent supposed to do… the point is for your girls to feel appreciated, however that would be communicated best to them. To me, price isnt a factor whatsoever as a bride OR a bridesmaid. As a bridesmaid I had my makeup paid for, I paid for my own hair, I also recieved a gift card for my favorite make-up spot, I felt appreciated and pampered. Mission accomplished 🙂 I’m getting my girls customized tote bags with a shutterfly memory book, PJ pants, earrings, and some little things from bath & body works… maybe little bottles of pop and booze lol, we’ll see.
Post # 22
jewlery to suit my tastes (ie I don’t want something that all for of the others get, because my style would probably not be the same as theirs).
Post # 23
@Charliejeorge: You bring up an interesting point. For me, I *always* have to be conscious of the dollars. I’m on a very tight budget all the time, and I have to be careful where everything gets spent.
That being said, I have found that I am far more ‘loose’ with the budget as a bridesmaid when I’m feeling generally appreciated. I’ve been in a number of weddings where I wasn’t required to do any more than get the appropriate dress, and I found myself splurging on new shoes to go perfectly, a new pair of earrings to offset it, etc.
Then there were the two weddings where the bride became demanding and unreasonable, blowing tiny things into BFDs (will the dresses be 1/4 an inch off the floor or a 1/2 an inch – IT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT DECISION WE WILL EVER MAKE PEOPLE), and generally assuming that our pocketbooks were theirs to play with. (What? You AREN’T interested in spending $800 on a bachelorette weekend in another city? What kind of friend ARE YOU?). It is in those situations where I do find myself being resentful at even the slightest cost increases…
Post # 24
@Charliejeorge: You hit the nail on the head in that you want your girls to feel appreciated. The tote bags sound adorable! If I were a bridesmaid, I would be thrilled with such a gift that is obviously tailored specifically to me (personalized pictures, her favorite scents from B&BW, favorite colors, etc) and took a lot of thought and consideration. I think thoughtful gifts like that are far more personal than expensive gifts where everyone gets the same thing. But that’s just my opinion. At the end of the day, the bride needs to decide what works best for her situation and her girls. If she can afford to spend more money and if that makes her girls feel appreciated, then great! Do it! Just do what works best for you and your wedding, and everyone will come out happy. 🙂
Post # 25
@AmyJCardiff: Nobody is going to be forced to have their hair and makeup done. It is optional. The idea of offering it as a semi-gift (combined with another actual material gift) was simply to be courteous and something I thought they might appreciate. If I were to decide to go with a more expensive gift, each girl could pay for her hair and makeup IF she wanted to. No one would be “forced.”
Post # 26
I just don’t wear a lot of jewelry. I have a lot of nice jewelry that I picked out sitting in drawers in my room and if I don’t wear that, I’m probably not goint o wear something that someone else picked out that might not be my style.
On the other hand, I like having my hair done! I might turn down the offer of makeup only because the only time I had my makeup done professionally (as a bridesmaid gift) it looked awful (my own mom didn’t recognize me until I was half way down the aisle) and I had an allergic reaction. So yeah. I don’t do pro makeup anymore. But I’d never ever turn down a mani/pedi – that’s the most “gifty” because it’s more luxurious and relaxing and less functional for the wedding.
Post # 27
As a current Bridesmaid or Best Man, I would be appreciative of any gift that the bride gives me. If I got to choose from the options, I would probably say jewellery, if only because offering to pay for hair and make-up isn’t really a gift since it’s ultimately for the wedding/bride.
I think the nicest gift is one that is completely personalized for the Bridesmaid or Best Man and one that won’t be used on the wedding day. Since jewellery is such a personalized style thing, it’s quite likely that the Bridesmaid or Best Man won’t wear the jewellery beyond the wedding day. If the Bridesmaid or Best Man is a bookish type, perhaps getting her gift cards to her favourite bookstore would be nice. Or, if she’s a cook, a kitchen tool she’s been coveting. For me, it’s the little things that make me realize I’m appreciated and tailored to my personality
Post # 28
@laureneliz87: I’m perfectly capable of doing my own makeup and always hate when someone else does my hair, so I’d VASTLY prefer the more expensive gift.
Post # 29
I know bee’s get so amped up when hair/make-up not being paid for by the bride gets mentioned…. well I’m one that doesn’t believe the bride has to pay for either (as long as they aren’t required). All my 6 girls paid for theres and were fine with it, there is no way I would have been able to pay for them all and still get them gifts. A wedding is (well, should be anyways) a one time event, and I’d much rather get a nice gift from the bride to have for life!
Post # 30
I’d prefer hair and makeup to be optional & I’d pay for myself if I wanted it and instead get a nicer gift. Hair/makeup doesnt seem fully optional if bride is paying for it or if getting it done would make bridesmaids get more inexpensive gifts. I also would be fine wearing a robe for pics but wouldn’t actually want a robe as a present or use it after, but maybe your bridesmaids are different.