(Closed) "While gifts are appreciated, please know your presence is gift enough"

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
9528 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

It should go without saying. if they are on your registry then they intend to give a gift. If they do not intend to then they most likely would not look at the registry. Posting that most likely would not sway a person one way or the other

Post # 4
Member
11643 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

amanda1988:  I would leave out the opener of gifts are appreciated and just say your presence is gift enough, if you’re trying to keep people from feeling obligated to buy a gift. 

Post # 5
Member
7905 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

There was a registry section of our wedding website’s template, so we did say that we only requested their presence. I think the “while gifts are appreciated” part makes it a little more ambiguous. 

Post # 6
Member
586 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

amanda1988:  We have something similar on our website under “Gifts” we just have “the gift of your presence is present enough”, but we don’t have a registry listed. I think if you’re going to list registries then it comes off as a little disingenuous. As a guest, I would read it as “no, don’t give us gifts (but like, seriously, give us a gift)”. I wouldn’t be annoyed or offended by it, but if you’re going to post a registry then I wouldn’t bother with the line.

Post # 8
Member
4036 posts
Honey bee

The only time I’ve seen the “gift of your presence” used, was on a wedding website’s gift registry page. At least 2/3rds of the guests had to travel, some significant distances (up to half way around the world).

The couple had set-up 4 different registries, with around 400 items. I still shake my head, over that.

Post # 9
Member
11643 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

amanda1988:  well, caveat: I’m no etiquette queen, but I value manners and courtesy making guests feel comfortable and wanted. To that end, I think it’s well suited on the registry part, and shows an appreciation for your guests and maybe lets those with a lower budget know that its okay. I think it’s quite lovely actually.

Post # 10
Member
3169 posts
Sugar bee

I really dislike any sentence which starts by saying no gifts required and ends with but give us cash/here’s our registry. Remove one or the other and you’re golden

Post # 11
Member
47189 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

If you have a registry, it says to me that you expect gifts, and I’m ok with that, because we all know that for most people, it’s customary to buy a gift if you are invited to the wedding.  Having a phrase like that on the registry page of the website, therefore might come across as a bit disingenuous.

“We don’t want you to think you have to buy a gift, but in case you do, here’s our list.”

Post # 14
Member
3169 posts
Sugar bee

amanda1988:  I agree. Your presence is gift enough and no registry, or registry and no preamble. We had registry details on our website. At first we had a little preamble but I removed it after a while because it felt very false. Most people gave us cards and cash anyway. People will do whatever they want really no matter what so don’t boil the ocean X

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