Post # 1
Hello Bees! I would like your opinion on this. My future FI has got the ering almost a month ago but has not yet proposed officially and we havent announced it either which maked me stressed and sad. He proposed without an ering but i dont really count it since we havent announced it. Althought i am really happy for other couples getting engaged, at this point i will feel even worse if i hear about another engagement of any couple we know before his official proposal and our announcement of getting engaged..
Is this normal?? Do you feel the same way about your relationship? or about hearing about other couples you know getting engaged??
Post # 2
Brunette26: Absolutely! And it seems that right now is the time that everyone I know is getting engaged!! I’ve honestly had enough of being at engagement celebrations having a wonderful time until I hear “Aqua59 you’ll be next!!” 2 weeks later so and so is engaged, turn up at that enagement party “oh who will be next to pop the question?” friends point at me and so on and so on. The expectations make it even worse, I have enough jealousy inside my own head without you all pointing it out to me lol 🙂
Post # 3
Brunette26: I had a hard time with it. DH and I have been together longer than any of my friends and about the same length of time as our mutual friend couples (give or take 6-9 months). We were the last to get married. Watching all these people get engaged before us was hard for me. I was still happy for them all, but part of me was jealous. Thankfully, there was one of my girlfriends who was in the same boat as me and she and her (now) DH had been together almost as long as us. She and I would often comiserate over how frustrated we were, even though we were happy for our friends, there was a little woe-is-me happening. Amazingly, we got engaged within 10 days of each other!
I think it’s completely normal what you’re feeling.
Post # 4
Brunette26: It doesn’t make me sad per say. Typically I get catty or I laugh because at this point everyone else is looking at us like “well?”… If I didn’t laugh I’d just be mad that they get to wear their rings before me…
Post # 5
I’ve been waiting a year. I deep down get anxious and a bit jealous but never would show that to someone who just got engaged.That’s their moment and my time will come and I wouldn’t want someone being a negative nancy because they haven’t gotten a ring. I never second guess my relationship because I haven’t been proposed to.
Post # 6
Brunette26: I JUST got married so I can’t really talk, but I specifically remember getting upset (internally..) when I would hear of so and so getting engaged. I would ALWAYS say “Oh SARAH is engaged” very casually. He eventually cought on that I was getting jealous even if I would never admit it. Turns out he had the ring 3 months before he proposed and I had no clue. I would still be dropping jealous bombs and he was thinking “ugh just wait for heavens sake!” He was just waiting until he could plan the right day.
Can I ask you why you are waiting and why he hasn’t actually proposed with the ring?
Post # 7
More than anything I think it made me anxious/excited about what could possible come next for my boyfriend(s) and I. The hopeless romantic in me got swept away at the whole idea. When I found the one I married, everytime someone would get engaged I would say “ok our turn” lol. Not sad. but hopeful is a better word for me.
Post # 8
I’m already engaged, but I know what you mean. I’ve been with my FH for almost 7 years and a lot of our friends who were dating less time (and younger than us) were getting engaged. So I started to question my relationship, especially because he is my first real boyfriend. I guess it also made it worse for me because we were long distance for 9 months and for 3 summers he was gone because of internships.
But I started to question it because we had been together for so long and it made me feel like he wasn’t sure whether or not he would want to marry me, and I didn’t want to be with someone who didn’t know whether I was the one or not (Well to me, after 4 years I think you should have a pretty good idea!). After talking to him, he said he has known that he wanted to propose, but because we were both still in undergrad and being supported by parents, that then was not the time. so I waited two years and when he got to grad school and 2 months before I graduated,he popped the question.
So yes, I think a little bit of jealousy is normal. Especially since you guys already have the ring and he’s torturing you by making you wait! Maybe he has something very special planned and wants to completely surprise you! Just be patient. Once you have the ring on your finger, everything you felt before will be insignificant!
Post # 9
If he asked and you said yes, that’s a proposal. congrats on your engagement!
Post # 10
- Wedding: July 2016 - RattleSnake Point Golf Club
Yes, but not because I feel insecure. I am frustrated.
We have more important things we need to spend money on, and things I want, which will leave us better off in the future… but I still am upset sometimes that getting engaged and married seems so far in the future. Especially because my biological reality has hit me (nearing 30).
Post # 11
I never understand this ‘I’m waiting for the official proposal’ stuff. Did he ask you to marry him? Did you say yes? Congrats! You’re engaged. Unicorns sambaing under rainbows while a solid gold dove drops the ring in your hand as glitterbombs explode behind you doesn’t make it any more official. It’s like saying you’re a little bit pregnant. There’s no such thing. You are either engaged or you’re not.
Post # 12
Hmm interesting topic, I can’t really say cause no one close got engaged before we did, or if they did they were 10 years older than us so I wasn’t really affected. Although I’m surprised to see how it affects you all, I hope my best friend ain’t feeling that way about me getting engaged :s I have a weird feeling that I’m being careful around her cause of this possibility, but maybe it’s just in my head!
Post # 13
Aqua59: I totally relate… I feel its the expectations and the pitty look i get that someone else got engaged and me and my SO are still not engaged especially if the other couple has been dating less time than us its even worse.. And also some people i feel just want to rub it in.. (I am sooo not inviting those people to the wedding! lol) Hopefully both of us will finally be engaged till the end of the holiday season!! 🙂 Keep me posted when it happens!!
MsGinkgo: Yes i think if you have someone you can relate, it is very helpful! I have a good friend of mine that is kinda in a similar situation but i know for a fact that they are not getting engaged soon unfortunately.. I would be very happy for this friend if they got engaged because i know what she is going through..
texaslemon: Congrats on you marriage!!! 🙂 This is very positive hearing that you felt this way and you got your happily ever after!! I hope my SO is thinking the same thing hopefully..I actually dont know why he hasnt proposed already and its so frustrating.. He tells me multiple times everyday that he cant wait to marry me etc.. But last time i checked about why he is delaying the actual official proposal he told me that he wants to be a bit more relaxed with work because he is very stressed at the moment and that it will happen very soon.. (I hope during the holidays the latest..) This morning when he told me again that he wants to marry me and i didnt respond he also said he cant wait for xmas so that we can spend more time together and that we are not tired.. do you think this is a hint??
MrsPierce2014: Umm i used to feel hopeful at some point but now that he has the ering i want to be the next!! Not the next of the next!! haha! If that makes sense..
soon2bmrsruiz: congrats of your engagement!! Its good to hear that i am not crazy feeling this way from someone already engaged!! 🙂
Thank you very much!! I wish i felt engaged.. I dont know.. i dont really feel engaged because we havent told almost anyone about it and i feel like he is waiting to make an official proposal when he gives me the ering..
MaplePoodle: I think if you have decided on investing on more important stuff and that is a decision you both mutually made i think you should be proud.. You never know though your SO might surprise you with a proposal when you least expect it!! 😉
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Post # 14
thesummerangel: Congrats on your engagements!!!! I think it might be in your head but maybe not.. Even if she is feeling this way she wouldnt show it though so its better to not be a bit careful around her i would say.. My sister was with someone for 6 yrs but they broke up a year ago and she hasnt found someone else for the moment so i try not to bring engagement and marriage things up as much as can that is.. Although she seems happy for me that he bought me the ering etc and that he is planning to propose (soon i hope) i am not sure if it makes her sad or not.. (she is 30 and i am 26..
Post # 15
Brunette26: no, I was with DH for 8 years when he proposed and tons of people got engaged before us. I never once felt sad or “why cant that be me” bc I knew my time would come. I never gave DH a timeline, we just always knew that when the time is right it will happen. You just really have to trust and know your SO to be comfortable knowing that it wi happen.