Post # 1
So I am staunchly “no kids” at our wedding beyond our 8(!) nieces and nephews who are in the wedding. Those kids are even kicked out from the reception at 9:30pm (with plenty of approval from their parents!). My Fiance was always indifferent to the subject, but always said that if it meant the people he wanted there couldn’t come if they couldn’t bring their then we’d have to make some exceptions –which I never agreed to.
I started the “rumors” early in my FI’s family that no kids were invited and his two (wonderful) chatty aunts were my little birds that passed the word to most of the family to which they all responded happily.
Today, we get a FB message to the both of us from his cousin’s wife telling us they can’t come because they have no one to watch the kids (10 & 14). This is the one cousin my Fiance wants there. I’m so bummed because we can’t tell if this was the excuse they were looking for to not come to the wedding or they genuinely can’t make it work. I also think it’s lame that the wife reached out to us verses the cousin directly reaching out to my Fiance. I feel like they barely tried to make our wedding work, when they happily went to my SIL’s child-free wedding 8 years ago when their kids were young!
This is also the cousin’s wife that boycotted my bridal shower because she was mad at my FI’s aunt that she knew would be there.
I’m sad for my Fiance, I feel the tiniest bit bad and I feel like this is my fault for being anti-kids at our wedding, but I’m pissed at them for their lame RSVP via facebook. Now my fiance is terrified we’re going to get a ton of responses like this.
I’m not even really looking for advice, I’m just whining. Anyone else dealing with the “no kids invited” drama for their wedding?
Post # 2
This just sounds like an excuse. 14 is old enough to babysit the 10-year-old for an evening….
Post # 3
Roll your eyes, send a message saying that they’ll be missed, and move on. Sometimes all you can do is say “Some people….”
One of my husband’s cousins missed the RSVP deadline, required 2 reminders to RSVP, and then sent the excuse that “it would be hard to get someone to watch their girls.” That’s right… not that they couldn’t get someone to babysit. It would just be hard. They literally told us going to our wedding wasn’t worth the effort lmao.
Post # 4
as if a 10 year old and a 14 year old need a babysitter..
Post # 5
Lol I stayed home a lot as a 10 year old much less a 14 year old. Just an excuse!
Post # 6
If this is someone your Fiance really wants there, I would an exception. Especially with kids that age, it’s not like they will cry through the ceremony.
Post # 7
That’s so lame. It’s their loss in the end, they’re going to miss out on a major family event that people will be talking about at the holidays & possibly for years to come. Hope it was worth it.
Post # 8
BookishBee : snookpower : dreamreve1 :
Like I’m sorry us wanting you at the most important day of our lives is an inconvenience for you!?!?
I actually am totally okay with that, my concern is how it looks to the other 20+ cousins with kids that we explicitly told them they couldn’t bring. I don’t want to make an exception for two pre teens and end up with a bunch of random toddlers running around becuase word gets around.
That’s how I feel too. I feel like they’re being really out of line.
Post # 9
Was this her formal rsvp or just a whining communication?
Are they from out of town? That is the only situation which might possibly cause some concern re leaving a 14 yr old in charge of a 10 yr old. Even then, I am quite sure the kids have friends with whom they could stay if the cousin offered to do an exchange with the other parents.
Then again, that could depend on the date in December of your wedding. Families may be reluctant to take other people’s children over the hoildays.
Post # 10
Thats what I was thinking.
She’s making excuses. Tell her sorry she won’t be there!
Post # 11
The cousin’s wife sounds whiny and manipulative.
I wouldn’t make an exception for them, as it could alienate the people who actually did respect your wishes. Be strong!
Post # 12
Maybe these kids aren’t trustworthy to leave home alone. I have heard of plenty of middle school aged kids abusing drugs and alcohol, throwing parties when parents aren’t around, and behaving recklessly and dangerously in general. My 15 year old niece isn’t left home alone because she has a tendency to self harm when she’s unsupervised.
Obviously, the kids could be angels and the parents just don’t want to come to your wedding, but they might have a legit reason, that they haven’t disclosed to you.
Post # 13
I have to agree that the 14 year old can mind the 10 year old for an evening (assuming there are no issues with the kids that we are not aware of.) I also love the idea of asking if the kids can stay overnght at a friend’s house.
Post # 14
Officially telling us they can’t come via Facebook. So not in paper form which makes me think this was her trying to manipulate us. They are from out of town, but we have offered babysitters that I personally know AND the other kids(that they’re related to) will be in the hotel with a babysitter.
she completely is. she loves to create drama.
They left their 10 year old home alone bc he didn’t want to go to his grandpas funeral…
Post # 15
There’s no reason why a 14 year old cannot stay home for an evening unaccompanied (unless the child has a disability and/or requires constant care).
If I were in your position, I’d tell the guests I am firm on the no children rule. They presumably have had months (if not weeks) in advance to arrange for childcare if they’re not comfortable leaving their kids alone.