(Closed) Whirwind Wedding with a sister on your tail

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
413 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Oh man little sisters sometimes can be quite copycats! LOL. My little sister is always trying trying to steal the thunder too. My only suggestion would be to keep your wedding details top secret and if she keeps it up totally call her on it. I mean you can definitely tell her to cut it out in a nice way. My mother would say that its sweet that she is trying to do what you are doing, but having seen my little sister copycat off of me I know how you feel. Maybe you can point her in the direction of some original ideas that would fit her but are completely opposite from you. GOOD LUCK!

Post # 4
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Gee . . . are you me?  I went through some of the same issues until mom convinced sister to move her wedding later.  (One difference:  I got engaged 8 months before she did, not one week and she wanted her wedding the day after or 2 weeks after mine!).  Fiance bought a tuxedo and she made hers buy almost the same one.  I got Fiance a vest and she wants the same one for hers.  My mom has been pressuring me too (I’m 5 years older too)!  She wanted to plan my shower fon my birthday too!  The only good news is that I’m having a much smaller wedding and wedding party!

Post # 5
Member
2249 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

i would plant fake details lol!

Post # 6
Member
1051 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Haha – I’m with vistagirl…sabotage!!!

Post # 7
Member
236 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’m planting fake plans with my “friend” that is trying to one-up everything I do.

It’s working, BTW!

Post # 8
Member
2249 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

@sarah -omg details!!!

Post # 9
Member
236 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Lol well, I’ll post for ideas – I guess if this “friend” sees this then she will realize how absolutely diabolical I really am. Keep in mind that I’ve been engaged since October of 2008. She got engaged this last early fall and attempted to move her’s one month before mine. I won’t even get into the other things she has done, but here is a list of my vengenance so far:

1) I sent her an email with pics of the more riskee dresses (see-through, ala SYTTD) by Pnina Tornai and asked if she thought they would look good for my chapel and boutique hotel wedding. She fawned over them in an email back – even though it was obviously not something I could wear – no offense to Tornai brides, I’m just a little overweight right now.

2) I told her birds are my theme. They aren’t. I don’t even have a theme.

3) I told her I was looking at spending 1k on invitations. I spent $60 at Vista and sent them out 6 months early so everyone has to RSVP before she will even get her’s back to send out. 🙂

 

Post # 10
Member
191 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

While I completely understand your frustration, OP, as a little sister I have to step in here and explain a little for the other team 🙂

I inadvertantly copy my older sisters all the time. My middle sister did a lot of things for her wedding last year that I secretly had hoped to someday do for mine. But, to avoid being a copycat (and also because my best friend had a very similar wedding a year prior) I decided to branch off and do my own thing completely. Perhaps your little sister doesn’t realize she’s copying you?

I think it’s simply because we’re related. We share similar genes, why not similar tastes? It’s frustrating on the other end, too, believe me– imagine never getting to do what you want because your older sisters already did it! I guess while I always worried more about “looking like I was copying”, some little sisters either just don’t realize it, or get fed up and take it anyway, copying or not.

Like I said, I get your frustration, but maybe you can talk to her about it frankly and ask why she is doing so many things the same as you. Her answer may be surprisingly simple– because she likes them. Or, she may not realize it’s offending you, or that she’s “copying” you.

Post # 12
Member
1230 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

I think it’s almost better that she is getting married a few months before you.  THis way you will be able to make any changes that you feel would be too similar to her wedding and still feel like your day was special and original to you.

**Hugs** this must be hard.  I am the only girl in my family . When Darling Husband proposed, I was so worried about stepping on Future Sister-In-Law toes that I actually postponed my wedding a whole year (She got engaged 3 months before we did and I had to beg her to pick a date so I could pick ours and start planning).

Post # 13
Member
3762 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I think if you do share details with her, then you just need to make it very clear that you hope the details will make your wedding unique and special and specifically ask her not to use the ideas. Then if she brings up the idea of using your idea, you can tell her that you asked her not to use it.

Post # 14
Member
3762 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I think if you do share details with her, then you just need to make it very clear that you hope the details will make your wedding unique and special and specifically ask her not to use the ideas. Then if she brings up the idea of using your idea, you can tell her that you asked her not to use it.

Post # 15
Member
281 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Holy CRAP!  I’m SO glad I have a little BROTHER now!!!  That’s super frustrating, I’d TARD right out if I were you, haha!  My heart seriously goes out to you. :/

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