(Closed) white dress to wedding..

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

My FI’s daughter is wearing a lovely white dress with a silver and black pattern for our wedding.  I’m the bride, and I think her dress is fine.  If it was all white, or all cream, or all black, I would think it was inappropriate, regardless of the accessories.  When you say "a black flower" do you mean a black floral pattern, or just a single black flower (as, on the belt or sash?)

Post # 4
310 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2008

I probably wouldn’t suggest doing it. Just incase the bride is one who would care. Save the cream coloured dress for a cocktail party instead 🙂

Post # 5
275 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

If you are close to the bride, ask her.  If there is a floral pattern and not just a single flower, you’ll probably be ok.  But I would also suggest not doing it if you can’t confirm with the bride!  Better safe than sorry!

Post # 6
12 posts

Unless you are sure the bride is NOT wearing a white/ivory dress (as in the case of many Hindu weddings, or you have other means of knowing the bride isn’t wearing white/ivory), don’t do it. 

Post # 7
93 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2008

i would say dont do it. i went to a wedding last year and a gal showed up in white with a little bit of blue flowers on the bottom and she just looked riciculous.

Post # 8
200 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2008

If it’s okay with the bride, then you shouldn’t have a problem with it. A lot of people arent so traditional, and don’t care or don’t even know the "no white" rule. Ask the bride. Nowadays, a lot of people wear whites and creams to weddings. I don’t think it’s a big deal as long as you don’t show up in a glaring white dress.

Post # 9
471 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I would avoid it if you can. It will make someone unhappy whether it is the bride or someone else. There are so many other colors to wear..Save thisi one for another ocassion.

Post # 10
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009 - Bernardo Winery

I always say no to wearing white to someone else’s wedding, but I do give you kudos for asking the question ! I’ve been to SO many weddings where clueless guest have worn white and EVERYONE was talking about, "can you believe so-and-so wore WHITE!"
Be on the safe side and save it for another occasion.

Post # 11
1061 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

even with the bride’s okay with it, i agree with AliCherry — someone will always be talking! i’d save this one for another event.

Post # 12
1458 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

To me it doens’t sound like it would be a problem. I know that at least for me, I woulnd’t be upset if someone wore that to my wedding. It’s not like its plain white, or white with tiny, barely visable decorations on it….

I’m on the opposit side of the majority of the others on this – mostly because I wouldn’t care if someone showed up in this dress to my wedding. 

Post # 13
97 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

Hmm, I don’t think it would mind. No way anyone can outshine the beautiful bride of the day! I actually asked my whole family to wear their Filipino clothes to the wedding, and they will all be in a creamish-white color.

Post # 14
244 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

Personally I don’t care what anyone wears to my wedding but I think I’m the minority.  Many many people do care a lot so I’ll play devil’s advocate a bit here

1) the bride will probably not be honest if you ask her if it’s ok to wear your dress cause she doesn’t want to appear to be a bridezilla. But even if it doesn’t annoy her it could annoy her mother, grandmother, aunt, or someone else

2) If you dress is cream and covered in a black floral print that’s one thing but if it’s all cream with just one black flower accent then you’re on dangerous ground…what if the bride wears a cream dress with a black ribbon? Someone might think you’re part of the wedding party

3) Out of all the dresses in the world in so many different colors, why wear this one to a wedding? Save it for another special occasion so you don’t accidently offend someone

4) Finally, if you don’t believe me about how nazi some girls are on this issue read one of the very first posts the editor of Martha Stewart Weddings wrote on her blog about wearing white to a wedding.


Make sure to read all 77 of the mean and scathing comments.  I mean she edits the Bible of Weddings and she wore white and she was literally trashed by the majority of readers…some people were so cruel.  If she can’t get away with it then probably no one else can either. Maybe people won’t be cruel to your face but there will be at least a handful of people who will more then likely be talking about you. This might not bother you but I’d be safe and wear something else.

Post # 15
50 posts
Worker bee

I just read Darcy Miller’s post and all the comments – wow… Some of those are pretty scary..
So how about if a man shows up in a white linen suit – does the rule apply to men as well, even though they can never, really, be mistaken for the bride?.. 

Post # 16
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

i’m in the minority here – but i guess since i dont really care what people wear to mine, i think a creme/ivory/eggshell/ecru dress with black floral print is cool… but that’s just me (shrugging)

i dont think there will ever be any consensus on this issue – but in my specific case, i’m going to be having too much fun and going to be so stinkin happy that i’m not going to care who wears what to my wedding — well minus maybe sparkly tube tops or a puma tracksuit…

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