(Closed) Who all am I supposed to be buying gifts for, and why?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
269 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Most people would be glad to help out at your wedding, and you know your families probably better than anyone else. If they’re very giving people, I’d say something small would be fine for the others who helped or contributed for your wedding. You could do something as simple as cards or nice notes letting them know how much you appreciate their help, since it sounds like you’re paying for the wedding itself.

Or you could do something like picture frames or something that goes along with some of the wedding costs. Like you could pay to have both mothers get their nails done if they had planned on it anyways. Or choose something that goes along in packages so there’s maybe a bit of a discount.

We plan on spending a bit more on our families, but that’s because they’re paying for our wedding. So we plan on buying their parent albums. FI’s grandmother is making two large sheet cakes to help the cost of the cake, so we’ll get them something a bit nicer as well. FI’s aunts are helping to do hair and hand-make decorations, so we’ll do something for them. It all depends on your budget, what your situation is, etc.

Post # 4
Member
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

We’re buying my grandparents and parents presents because they are 100% paying for our wedding and honeymoon and we feel we need to thank them.

Post # 5
Member
2261 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I would say this is only a good rule if the people are helping out a lot/paying for the wedding itself. I do plan on getting my mom a little something or saying thank you in that way since the whole wedding process it’s been her and my Fiance and me. As for everyone else…. I can see the need for a nice, personal thank-you note but no need to go out of oyur way to buy each person a gift…. just my 2 cents ๐Ÿ˜‰ 

Post # 5
Member
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

i personally bought something for my bridesmaids – strictly to show my love and thanks for standing up with me as well as spending the time and money for my wedding day. My husband bought his groomsmen gifts as well, most likely for the same reasons ( or because i told him he had to)

I bought something for my husband as a little reminder of how much i love him and also to have something that he can always associate with our wedding day.

I bought my parents and my in laws a little something for being amazing parents and helping us financially with both the wedding and the rehearsal.

I also bought little gifts for the flower girl and readers since they too are part of our bridal party and it mean a lot to us for them to agree to be in it.

Post # 5
Member
2261 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I would say this is only a good rule if the people are helping out a lot/paying for the wedding itself. I do plan on getting my mom a little something or saying thank you in that way since the whole wedding process it’s been her and my Fiance and me. As for everyone else…. I can see the need for a nice, personal thank-you note but no need to go out of oyur way to buy each person a gift…. just my 2 cents ๐Ÿ˜‰ 

Post # 5
Member
2261 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

 

(WOAH, psycho computer… sorry triple post! ๐Ÿ™ )

Post # 5
Member
2261 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013
Post # 6
Member
1766 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I’m not from the US, but I had to learn about the US wedding culture, since we got married here.  I could swear that most of the ‘rules and traditions’ were invented by some sort of industry in a brazen attempt to make more profit.

It goes without saying that everybody who made a special effort to help with your wedding should know how much you appreciate it.  But I’m against buying everybody in the world a gift. 

We got gifts for our wedding party only.  Our parents didn’t expect anything and would have probably thought we were being wasteful buy buying them some clutter with the money they gave us for the wedding (ha!). I plan on making them a nice photo album in shutterfly.  But we didn’t give them anything on the day of.

Post # 6
Member
27 posts
Newbee

It’s your wedding, not Christmas. Give gifts to whomever you’re compelled to give a gift. They don’t need to be expensive either. A framed photo from the wedding makes a lovely momento.

Post # 7
Member
2261 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@AprilJo2011: What country are you from? Jw since I am not really from here, either! I am Hispanic and was also struck by all the formality of gift-giving, who pays, etc when I started planning here. 

Post # 8
Member
1766 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@SimplyChic11: I’m from Germany, where invitations are not written in the third person and people expect a warm, genuine face-to-face thank you instead of some generic thank you note.

Yes, this formalized wedding process was pretty shocking. But we still managed to have a fun wedding. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 9
Member
2261 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@AprilJo2011: Lovely! I totally agree about the invitations and wish traditional weddings were a bit more personal in the states. 

Post # 11
Member
14658 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

We got gifts for the bridal party of course, and both sets of parents.  Both of our parents helped out a bunch financially, so we felt it was called for.  We didnt do grandparents gifts though, it just didnt cross my mind to go another level up from parents.

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