(Closed) who are you giving a + 1 to?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: No one gets a + 1
    Only if your are married/engaged can you have a +1 : (17 votes)
    15 %
    you only get a + 1 if the bride/groom personaly knows who your + 1 is : (27 votes)
    24 %
    Everyone can bring a guest it's unfair to let some but not others : (42 votes)
    38 %
    Other please explain in a post : (26 votes)
    23 %
  • Post # 3
    6597 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    We are giving everyone a guest at our 60 person wedding!

    Post # 4
    3219 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    Im giving people +1 who live with there SO also not just married/engaged

    Post # 5
    1046 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    Everyone that is in a relationship is getting to bring their SO to the wedding.

    Post # 6
    104 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I was going to do only married engaged or living together, but my mother had other ideas and has been telling people that of course their boyfriend, girlfriend, etc can come.  Gah.  I can’t tell them otherwise after that.  I look like an a**.  I really didn’t want people there we didn’t know.  There were going to be a couple anyways because of marriages and engagements in our social network but I am not thrilled that there will be more mystery people.

    Post # 7
    2775 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    We had very few single (not married, not engaged) guests, so we went ahead and gave all the singles a +1.  Inviting married and engaged couples together is a given.

    Post # 8
    549 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    We are limiting it to living together/married.  We only wanted about 150 at the wedding, but are inviting 207… so we are already way over what we wanted, so any extra plus ones would just be too much!

    Post # 9
    454 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2011

    we’re giving the option to all of the younger crowd and some of the older crowd who we know are dating. widow(er)s/divorcees that are not dating we’re figuring that they probably won’t bring a guest so we’re leaving them out. however if they contact us and say that they want to bring someone, then they’re more than welcome.

    Post # 10
    2208 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Every adult gets a plus 1. Our wedding is semi-destination, so everyone has to travel and stay overnight. I think it is only fair to let someone bring a guest in these circumstances.

    Post # 11
    2821 posts
    Sugar bee

    We did it so haphazard.  People traveling far got a +1 regardless of dating status, well except for family members traveling far like cousins that weren’t in anything serious because we figured they all know each other so it’s not like they’ll feel awkward.  But then we also didn’t invite his guy friends with a +1 that were traveling far because he thought they didn’t need it and if they did would tell us, which turned out to be true.  One was just starting to date someone but had just assumed she’d be invited if he wanted her to be but decided it was too soon to introduce her to everyone.  But then we invited friends from close by with dates who were attached to them, like ‘going steady’, even if it hadn’t been a year.  I donno, it seemed to work out, our friends and family are pretty open and no one openly objected to our haphazard system and I’m sure it would have gotten back to me if they had.

    Post # 12
    2204 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Married, engaged and/or living with SO. I really want to avoid the “flavor of the month” types and if I gave every co-worker a plus 1, my numbers would be crazy. I’m actually struggling with this decision right now so I’m looking forward to how other bees respond!

    One of my big issues is that my wedding is a formal, black tie, $200pp and I really just want people that know us and love us to be there.

    I’m already getting drama from my Future Mother-In-Law who thinks my FI’s 17-18 year old cousin should be allowed to bring her boyfriend. Um hello…I doubt they’ll be together next November and No.

    This is a tough subject for me haha.

    Post # 13
    351 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    We also have very few friends that are single as in not engaged/married/living with someone/in serious relationship. So, we just went ahead and gave those 4 or 5 people +1’s.

    As far as single, older adults – we just took each one case by case. Obviously, my grandmother and older great aunts wouldn’t bring a random guest 🙂

    Post # 14
    1820 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    We are giving +1 to everyone that we know is in a serious relationship (i.e. we know their name).  Most live together.

    We actually only have a few people (4-5) that do not get +1, and that feels a little weird, but:  (1) they will know plenty of people of at the wedding and we will seat them with people they will enjoy spending time with, and (2) I don’t want to hang out with/pay for someone I don’t know, who was just invited because the friend felt like they needed a +1.

    Post # 15
    1080 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2010

    we gave plus ones to bridal party and to people living together/engaged.

    Post # 16
    2186 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    our plus one rule – married, engaged, life partners OR bridal party all are allowed plus ones.

    The topic ‘who are you giving a + 1 to?’ is closed to new replies.

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