Post # 1
I would like to have a bridal shower but I do not have a maid of honor. i have 7 bridesmaids and 3 of them (so far) have offered to help put one together for me (very sweet).
one of them is my future (SIL). She is very pushy, especially when she gets an idea in her head and doesn’t wanna let it go! SIL has been trying to take it upon herself to plan the shower, but she is not communiticating with the other girls so they can share their ideas too.
I told her I wanted to have it at a specific tea house (highly recommended by another bridesmaid) and she argued that she knows a better one. I suggested we do an alphabet present theme because i dont want a lingerie theme and we don’t need any kitchen stuff ..she didn’t like that either! Then she argued that whatever they plan for me is supposed to be a surprise so i shouldnt be telling her what theme its going to be!
I know she is helping me and I am grateful for her time and enthusiasm but am I wrong in thinking the bride should be choosing this stuff? i am also not sure how to get her more involved with the other maids. They’re kind of shy and she is intimidating!
thanks for listening!
Post # 3
@bbridetobee: whoever host it picks out and pays for everything
Post # 5
Showers don’t have to have themes at all anyway, but the ones who are hosting it really do get to decide what it will be (and usually where).
Let them work it out and don’t get involved. You’ll be much happier in the long run.
Post # 6
The host makes the decisions. You shouldn’t be throwing your own shower, asking for one, or planning it. Let her work on it.
Post # 7
I have a pushy Bridesmaid or Best Man who took over my bridal shower and pushed my Maid/Matron of Honor out of the way with ideas. It would not have been the theme I would have done at all, but it turned out great! I was thrilled I actually. It was the best shower I’ve ever been to even though it was SO not my style.
My Maid/Matron of Honor is very chill and a very laid back person, so I wasn’t surprised when my other Bridesmaid or Best Man took over, but I told my Maid/Matron of Honor the bachelorette party is up to HER to plan because I know we’ll have a much more fun night if that happens than if the other girl does it. Since I stepped in early and specifically said YOU are the one planning this, it’s worked out fine and the other Bridesmaid or Best Man hasn’t tried to intervene. Yet…
Post # 8
As others said, the host should be planning it, not you. I’d just let her do her thing, at least she sounds excited about it!