Post # 1
Hello Bees and happy Monday! Hope everyone’s week is off to a great start.
I guess I am always full of questions and always thinking and I love seeing what everyone has to say and points that I never even thought of.
For those of you that are dating, married, engaged. Who comes first in a relationship? Your Wife/Fiance/Husband or your friends?
I guess an example would be if your friends are mean and nasty towards your wife/fiance/husband, whose side do you take?
Theres many other what if situations, so id love to hear what you all have to say and any examples as well!
Post # 2
In your example, definitely your spouse/to-be-spouse, UNLESS your spouse did something to seriously provoke it and they aren’t remorseful… but then I would question why I’m with a person who is that way to begin with.
Naturally, you take the side of the person you’re spending the rest of your life with, unless they’re being just plain sh*tty or they’re blatently wrong.
Post # 3
- Wedding: September 2005 - A Castle
You’re still with that douche?
Post # 4
I always put my husband first before anyone else. And I can honestly say I have never once seen him be nasty to anyone. I’m a different story, he has a couple of friends who get on my last nerve and are always here.
Post # 5
I was talking to a friend about a situation similar so its just a question based off our conversation.
Post # 6
oh gosh that sucks! I feel like the hubby has to always go first too, unless they do something so stupid in front of me that its kind of hard to defend! LOL
Post # 7
even before we became engaged, my Fiance was first and foremost. I could not have someone in my life that disrespected him, whether that be friends OR family.
Post # 8
- Wedding: March 2014 - Chicago, IL
My husband is my family, so I would put him first. Although, I have to say I’m a very lucky girl in that he doesn’t have a mean bone in his body and puts me first, always. I’ve realized that as I get older I don’t have the time or energy for negative people in my life. After cutting them out, I’m so much happier.
Now, on the other hand, if your friends ALL think poorly of your spouse, then maybe there is something there. If the common denominator is always him, then perhaps he isn’t treating you right and your friends are just trying to help. In that case, trying to see your relationship through their eyes might provide a lot of insight. Maybe they’re not being mean, but just looking out for your best interests.
Post # 9
If you don’t put your spouse first the relationship is ultimately doomed. There are exceptions where your SO might have done something to alienate them, but chances are you would know and then you might have to reevaluate who he is.
Otherwise maybe you need to reevaluate the friends who are blatantly nasty to your SO for no reason. I don’t just LOVE my best friends husband (mostly because he repeats the same stories of me and my best friend from college when he’s drunk, stories my now husband knows, but I don’t just want repeated over and over everytime we’re together)… but my best friend loves him and they’re happy and he’s good to her. So I’m happy for them and make the best of the time we spend togethr.
Post # 10
I will ALWAYS take my husband’s side if someone was not being friendly to him, without a doubt. I actually have an instance that I can use. My husband and my friend’s husband got into an arguement because my husband was tired of his childish behavior and nobody else was willing to stand up to him. This caused some bad blood and it resulted in them kicking us off of the softball team we were on with them since they were in charge of organizing and managing it. They literally didn’t speak to us for weeks and still really don’t and this was also my Maid/Matron of Honor in my wedding. And both my husband and I were in their wedding that was all of 9 months ago. But I wasn’t going to let them think they were “right” when they didn’t resolve the issue with us. Until they’re ready to be adults about it, I just won’t speak to them.
Post # 11
aww! I love your response!
Post # 13
100% my husband comes first everytime, then my family. I made a commitment to my husband who I love and respect 100%.
Post # 14
Unless there is a form of abuse involved, your spouse comes above all except your children. I would have thought that was a given.
Post # 15
If a friend of mine was disrespectful to my husband I’d absolutely be on his side. Hell if my friend was mean to my DOG I’d take the dog’s side.