(Closed) Who comes first husband/wife/fiance or your friends?

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
7153 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

In your example, definitely your spouse/to-be-spouse, UNLESS your spouse did something to seriously provoke it and they aren’t remorseful… but then I would question why I’m with a person who is that way to begin with.

Naturally, you take the side of the person you’re spending the rest of your life with, unless they’re being just plain sh*tty or they’re blatently wrong.

Post # 3
1409 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2005 - A Castle

You’re still with that douche?

Post # 4
1164 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I always put my husband first before anyone else.  And I can honestly say I have never once seen him be nasty to anyone.  I’m a different story, he has a couple of friends who get on my last nerve and are always here.

Post # 7
3535 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

View original reply
mightyduck17:  even before we became engaged, my Fiance was first and foremost. I could not have someone in my life that disrespected him, whether that be friends OR family. 

Post # 8
10503 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Chicago, IL

My husband is my family, so I would put him first. Although, I have to say I’m a very lucky girl in that he doesn’t have a mean bone in his body and puts me first, always. I’ve realized that as I get older I don’t have the time or energy for negative people in my life. After cutting them out, I’m so much happier. 

Now, on the other hand, if your friends ALL think poorly of your spouse, then maybe there is something there. If the common denominator is always him, then perhaps he isn’t treating you right and your friends are just trying to help. In that case, trying to see your relationship through their eyes might provide a lot of insight. Maybe they’re not being mean, but just looking out for your best interests.

Post # 9
1178 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

View original reply
mightyduck17:  If you don’t put your spouse first the relationship is ultimately doomed. There are exceptions where your SO might have done something to alienate them, but chances are you would know and then you might have to reevaluate who he is. 

Otherwise maybe you need to reevaluate the friends who are blatantly nasty to your SO for no reason. I don’t just LOVE my best friends husband (mostly because he repeats the same stories of me and my best friend from college when he’s drunk, stories my now husband knows, but I don’t just want repeated over and over everytime we’re together)… but my best friend loves him and they’re happy and he’s good to her. So I’m happy for them and make the best of the time we spend togethr.

Post # 10
2167 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I will ALWAYS take my husband’s side if someone was not being friendly to him, without a doubt. I actually have an instance that I can use. My husband and my friend’s husband got into an arguement because my husband was tired of his childish behavior and nobody else was willing to stand up to him. This caused some bad blood and it resulted in them kicking us off of the softball team we were on with them since they were in charge of organizing and managing it. They literally didn’t speak to us for weeks and still really don’t and this was also my Maid/Matron of Honor in my wedding. And both my husband and I were in their wedding that was all of 9 months ago. But I wasn’t going to let them think they were “right” when they didn’t resolve the issue with us. Until they’re ready to be adults about it, I just won’t speak to them. 

Post # 12
1243 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
mightyduck17:  Spouse before all. 

Post # 13
1130 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

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mightyduck17:  100% my husband comes first everytime, then my family.  I made a commitment to my husband who I love and respect 100%.

Post # 14
649 posts
Busy bee

Unless there is a form of abuse involved, your spouse comes above all except your children. I would have thought that was a given. 

Post # 15
2505 posts
Sugar bee

View original reply
mightyduck17:  If a friend of mine was disrespectful to my husband I’d absolutely be on his side. Hell if my friend was mean to my DOG I’d take the dog’s side.

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