(Closed) Who considers themselves an 'offbeat bride'? Why?

posted 9 years ago in Themes
Post # 32
189 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

I guess I do kind of consider myself kind of an off beat bride.  For starters I never wanted a big wedding! I wanted to just run away to Vegas.  For about the first 6 months of our engagement I joked that my Fiance was a “groomzilla”. I never bought a bridal magazine. 

Our colors are black with red accents.  The girls’ dresses are black with a red sash. They got to pick out their own dresses – all I asked is that it was long and they wear the same red sash. I’m not buying them jewerly and just asked that they wear black shoes.  Heels, flats, peep toes…I don’t care just as long as they are happy. 

Our flowers are red, purple, with some black roses mixed in. 

I am wearing the white dress.  Which I picked it out in under and hour and after trying on 3 others.  I’m not wearing a veil and my shoes are red (to match the girls’ sashes).  

Our first dance is a slow rock song. 

Post # 33
3518 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’m so offbeat Frank Zappa can’t tap his foot to me. ;D

-Wearing a corset and edwardianish style skirt instead of a dress, the ensemble probably has more black than white in it. (The groom will be wearing a regency tailcoat, period trousers, and fancy riding boots.)

-No veil, but a kind of elvish-looking drop tiara thing

-No officiant, we are self-uniting, provided nothing goes wrong with the license

-Invitations reference The Princess Bride and include the phrase “omg so excited”

-Our first dance will be to a song that is about Charon (Pluto’s moon) singing a love song to Pluto

-Our centerpieces are test tubes and our “flowers” (no live flowers) will hopefully, if all goes well be made of maps and book pages. Our tables will be named after spacecraft from fiction (The Enterprise, Milennium Falcon, Bebop, TARDIS, Serenity…)

-Bridesmaids and I are not carrying flowers, but parasols

-We’re getting married on the largest four-masted sailing ship still afloat, that in its heyday traveled the world, was captured by various countries in multiple wars, and won the last great grain race

-Bridesmaids will be wearing chuck taylors

-Groomsmen will each have a different color vest associated with a power ranger (FH’s idea and I think it’s adorable)

-Not sure about cake toppers, but we sorta want to buy figurines of our rock band characters

-Readings will be from The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy series and The Velveteen Rabbit. No religion for us. 

-We’re not registering

That’s most of the big stuff, though I could probably come up with more weirdness if I thought about it.

Post # 34
218 posts
Helper bee

Um – we’re just doing whatever we want.

No cake – because they’re expensive and we don’t even like cake

Don’t really care about looking my “most beautiful”  or “perfect” my wedding day – I figure I’ll look how I look and the happy glow will take care of the rest. So that means minimal makeup and no crazy workout schedule beforehand. Perfect brides are boring anyways.

It’s going to be on a farm with lots of animals around, cause I like animals

We’re skipping plated boring expensive food that doesn’t fill people up and doesn’t taste good anyways in favor of homestyle/homecooked food (with a bib to protect hands and dresses)

No flower center pieces – why flowers? I like flowers and all, but don’t understand why they’re necessary plus they tend to be bloody expensive and not very entertaining. Why not puzzles or some of your guys’ favorite toys or a rocket ship? I reckon rocket ships would be much cooler centerpieces.

Etc. etc.



Post # 35
6375 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

I would love to be an offbeat bride. I would have loved to have a circus theme, or fire eaters, or steampunk. I tried to have our reception venue in a museum, a botanical garden… the lot. None of the places I contacted could do it for various reasons. So I ended up with a more traditional reception venue… an ex stately home.

Also, Fiance and his family are very traditional. They still can’t believe that I won’t be given away, etc etc. I’m also not taking FIs name, and he isn’t very happy about that. Future Mother-In-Law was also not at all keen when I said that I wanted to change out of my wedding dress after the wedding breakfast because it was so hot (and into another white, floor length dress which was cooler)…. hardly breaking the mould too much, I thought, but that just goes to show how traditional they are. They’re also not happy that we don’t want a first dance, and aren’t too keen on my providing lawn games like croquet as an alternative to dancing.

I photoshopped my fancy dress wearing pet cats onto my invitations for a laugh, and quite a few people thought that was really weird. I’m going to have bride and groom cat cake toppers which I made from a china cruet set. The tables will be named after cats. We’re having a (self-service) real ale party with kegs, and a British tea party/pub feel to the reception. I’m making the evening buffet, the cake (non-traditional flavours), bunting, decorations, stationery, centrepieces… we’re buying in everything, including the tablecloths, because it was cheaper than renting…oh, and I want to have wooden flowers because they’re more sustainable, and cheaper… and I also want to play 70s rock music… and I wanted to do a horse riding pub crawl for my hen do, but that’s not going to happen now… boo…

… so my wedding is kind of “offbeat lite”, maybe?

I would have loved to be less conventional, but every non-conventional choice I make seems to bring me grief, so I’ve had to compromise on a LOT.

Post # 36
6375 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

@LostInWonderland:  I love the Alice in Wonderland theme! Did you see the Don’t Tell the Bride Episode where they had that theme? It was INCREDIBLE!

@trueblue14:  I originally considered a Victorian theme and the pig roast too!

View original reply
@icetea:  I love this as well. It’s going to be awesome!

Post # 37
218 posts
Helper bee

Another thing I don’t understand is why invitations still in really expensive letter press? I mean I appreciate the artistry of it and they’re beautiful, but no one reads snail mail anymore! Why not a beautiful flash animation? or video? or hand drawn card? or a beautiful e-card that a lot of the brides here have been using.

There’s all these crazy things that the wedding industry thinks you “should have” but don’t really make sense. Cakes, flowers, crazy ass gown and invitations top my list. (Why not a designer gown made in paris that’s amazing on you, that you can wear again and isn’t white? ) I don’t begrudge brides that want them. I would buy them too if they meant something to me. I just get annoyed when so many brides feel like they HAVE TO HAVE a cake or flowers or don’t really think about it and spend the time, effort and money becuase they “have to”.

Just want people to WAKE UP! πŸ™‚ In the most gentle way of course… πŸ˜›

Post # 38
1030 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@LostInWonderland:  I’d say I’m kind of in between.  I don’t consider myself traditional at all … But at the same time, I’m wearing an ivory wedding gown, I’m carrying a bouquet (though I have yet to determine the details with this), we’re having a cake, we’re planning to do a plated dinner, we’re doing a first dance, etc.

However, I’m 99.9% sure I’m walking by myself down the aisle.  I don’t have a relationship with my dad, so there will be no father-daughter dance.  (My fiance said he wants to do a mother-son dance, though.)  My best friend (a guy) is going to be my “man of honor” and will stand next to me.  We’re not having any sort of religious ceremony, and will likely try to incorporate as many uniquely “us” things as we can into the ceremony (that’s really important to both of us).  I’m walking down the aisle to an Elliott Smith song (granted, it will be the Vitamin String Quartet version but still).  We’re playing a lot of non-traditional music during our ceremony and reception (or what I consider to be “non-traditional” music, anyway). We’re not doing a bouquet or garter toss.  We’re mixing together a bunch of different ideas and  hoping to somehow get a somewhat cohesive look/feel (mostly because we just like a bunch of random shit).  We’re most likely not registering anywhere because, quite frankly, we don’t need/want anything.

I can’t think of anything else right now, but I’m sure there are other “quirky” elements we’re including and/or traditional things we’re not doing.

I would love to do a steampunk wedding.  Unfortunately, that’s way more my style and not my fiance’s style at all.  He’s been really awesome with wedding planning, and I didn’t want to just randomly pick out a bunch of stuff I like without listening to his opinions.  

Basically, we’re just doing what we want to do.  I know our wedding won’t be as offbeat as some, but I think it will reflect our tastes and who we are as a couple (I hope so, anyway).

Post # 39
25 posts
  • Wedding: June 2013

this is my favorite thread on the bee!  Love all your offbeat weddings!

Post # 40
66 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Semi-offbeat.  I guess I realise that what I wanted – and what was important to me – was different compared to other brides.

I have to admit I am frequently horrified by some of the discussion on these boards in terms of expections of guests, family and gifts… but I bet I horrify some of you too πŸ™‚

Our wedding was only last week so I am throwing my photos up everywhere…. and to be fair I haven’t had a mean/snarky/horrified response yet.

Post # 41
224 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Hmm I guess I’d fall somewhere in the middle. I’m wearing ivory, I don’t want the first look, and I’m stealing a ton of trendy ideas off of Pinterest πŸ™‚

On the other hand, my FI’s best friend is marrying us, we’re not having a religious ceremony, and we’re not doing a receiving line, no bouquet throw, no garter toss, no big cake, and no limo to leave in. Some of those traditions just totally make me cringe!

Post # 42
160 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014 - Ceremony: St Patrick\'s Basilica Reception: Southern Cross Ballroom, Esplanade Hotel Fremantle

I’m wearing a disney princess jasmine dress in ivory, but we are chucking in some unconventional things too. No tiara for me so i’m wearing a 1920s brow band, no bouquet either so i went with peacock feather fans. My clutch is a jewelled peacock. My shoes will have yoshi painted on them lol, we won’t be having cake but will be having an ice cream and sorbet tower. instead of bride and groom chair signs we are having “khal” and “Khalessi”, as a nod to our favourite show. Our theme will be vintage ( i like old things lol) with a dash of aladdin inspired items and a pinch of geek :P, also peacock all the things! Being different is much more fun, i despise pastels which is why my girls will be in black with peacock splashes.

Post # 43
2 posts
  • Wedding: August 2013

Yes. Why have a cookie cutter wedding and be brainwashed by the wedding industry!

To a degree you have to take your guests into consideration – after all you want them to have a great time.  I suggest keep a lot of your plans secret until the day and then they have no choice but to rejoice and embrace them! They will realise that it all looks great when it is all put together and that it is Sooo You!! 

We ended up having a “starry night” theme in the country. Lots of Ice blue, silver, black and white and stars and glitter!  Our venue was a Department of Communities facility during the week but they hired it out for private functions in the community on the weekends.  Heaps of inclusions, great facility – bit of a blank slate …but we loved that because we could do what we wanted without any restrictions. Fairy lights, paper lanterns, paper stars/flowers (no real flowers!) lampshades on wine glasses, 3D lucky stars on tables,  

I wore a bright blue burlesque style dress and danced barefoot over the grass /aisle to The Darkness “I believe in a thing called love”. Hubby, celebrant and I shared a swig from the flask when I got there! We were supposed to dance down together but combo of him chickening out and the kids.. No bridal party except for our children (who were small). My daughter wore fairy wings and pink, my son wore pink too. Hubby matched me in blue shirt too.  I had a crystal bouquet.  I wasnt going to have a bouquet at all but that is another story, and why you should be careful what you say to mother in laws… πŸ™‚

We had a bar tent set up on the grass too – we catered that too. WEdding and reception was in same place.  We had to find our own staff. There was accommodation onsite too.  We had our own caterer.

Ceremony we had a tasting ceremony – lots of fun , wrote our own funny vows. Lots of laughter. We had a handfasting (interactive with guests who came up and asked us personal vows before placing a ribbon). Mothers tied the knot.  We had a roving gypsy who also had a line up of people to do tarot card reading! We had a local live musician during the ceremony and also all afternoon (until reception). WEdding singer/DJ/Karaoke later. Slideshow later.  AFter dinner we had a bellydancing and firedancing show on the grass – interactive as well. Braziers burning through the night. Kids had a separate room for them with a huge screen for movies and beanbags!

BBQ Breakfast / brunch the next day.  Everyone said it was the best wedding they had been to and are still talking about it 2 yrs later.  EVen the one uncle who hates everything…loved our wedding! lol! 

Post # 44
69 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2019 - Italy

@NovaGrey:  That sounds exactly like me! But with a whole hell of a lot of vintage thrown and bright red hair thrown in! πŸ™‚

Post # 45
1336 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I consider myself an offbeat bride because we’re not really having a wedding- we’re having a party! We will do a verrrry small courthouse ceremony during the day and then a 5 hour long cocktail party in the evening with a 5 min ceremony to be conducted by our mutual best friend. No wedding party.  No aisle.  No first dance.  No bouquet toss or garter situation or even cake (we’re having pies from our favorite local bakery.)  We hope to have the most kick-ass, classy, prohibition/speakeasy style cocktail party that we DONT have to work (and we’re getting 100% open bar at a world famous venue that is a multi award-winning bar/restaurant for 5 hours.)

And my dress will be white, blue, purple and green with teal hair to match.



…and we’re already discussing going to thr courthouse way before the wedding on some nothing afternoon and not telling anyone, including our family, until the day of the reception.  Who knows. Neither of us are at all into wedding “stuff” but I am SO excited to have an awesome bash and some pictures of myself that DONT include me running around like a maniac (like most of the parties we throw.)


Post # 46
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@bec4dave:  Amen to the keeping plans a secret! I want people to be surprised on my wedding day and don’t want them to know what I have planned. The last two weddings I’ve been involved in, the bride told us everything and there wasn’t any surprises! That’s my favorite part! But in turn, those same girls are upset because I won’t talk about my wedding either, but then again, I don’t want it to be the only thing I talk about for over a year! 

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