(Closed) Who “controls” the money in your relationship?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Who controls/manages your money?
    I do : (28 votes)
    30 %
    My partner does : (15 votes)
    16 %
    Both - we each pay our own bills : (21 votes)
    22 %
    Both - our bills are combined and we take turns : (20 votes)
    21 %
    Other : (10 votes)
    11 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2759 posts
    Sugar bee

    Right now, we each have separate accounts and contribute by half to all expenses (bills, rent, gas and food) with the occasional splurge by one or the other (though those are off the table now b/c Fiance is looking for a job).

    Once both of us have stable employment, we are going to get a joint account to cover those expenses, but I think we’ll always keep separate accounts – it makes more sense. If one of us ends up being a SAHM/SAHD, I guess we’ll have to cross that bridge but there will never be a time where we aren’t both completely in the know when it comes to our money.

    I grew up in a family that managed money poorly and it was the source of so much stress – FI’s family is very open about money, and I like that.

    Post # 4
    Member
    2759 posts
    Sugar bee

    Also, I’m sorry your mom & your family is going through this. Divorce is never easy, and it has to be terrifying to be in her position. Thankfully she has a wonderful daughter in her life!

    Post # 5
    Hostess
    11167 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    I do but I certainly wouldn’t say I control the finances, I prefer manages.

    Post # 6
    Member
    2638 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2006

    I do.

    Post # 8
    Member
    713 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    @Treejewel19:  <—what she said

    We’re pretty much doing what @jocember said. We have separate accounts and split everything in half. He said he wants to pay off his debt before we open up a joint account and I want to buy a car this year, so it just makes sense for us to not combine stuff yet. I’m usually the one who reminds him when bills need to be paid though.

    Post # 10
    Member
    14443 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    We both make about the same and both “control” our own money. but we both bascailly know the whole picture.  He pays for the utilities since I didnt want to deal with setting it up, he pays the mortgage and I pay for the CC’s (gas, food, everythign misc), and property tax.  It’s split fairly evenly just so neither of our accounts dip too low, but even if it does, our accounts are linked and we’ll just tell the other that we’re taking a chunk from their account.

    Post # 11
    Member
    3265 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    So sorry to hear what your mom is dealing with right now. I can’t even imagine.

    We’re the same way jocember is, except we share a savings account. All bills get paid 50/50, with the exception of gas (we only have one car, and I hardly ever drive it) and cell phone bill. Groceries are probably paid for mostly by me only because I’m usually the one doing the shopping, but it’s worked well for us.

    Growing up my parents both had separate accounts but had access to the other’s account in case of emergencies. My mom paid these bills, my dad paid those bills, but nothing was ever really kept from the other.

    Post # 12
    Member
    1643 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    Aww your poor mom!  How awful for you both *hugs*

     

    In answer to your question.  We have a seperate account each, and then each pay into our joint account and then all the bills / expenses go out of this.  Day to day I know what is going in and out of that account, and generally everything happens by direct debit.  But we have an organised folder with bills / payments etc in and he knows how to access the account if he needs to.  He just doesn’t ever feel the need to!!  🙂

    Post # 13
    Member
    5657 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2012

    My Darling Husband is just plain better with money, so I let him handle our finances for the most part. That said, I understand and know exactly what is going on with all our money.

    Post # 14
    Member
    7609 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    My dad was the sole breadwinner for most of my life, but my mom was the financial planner & manager.  I think they made all the decisions together, but that she was the more organized one with the responsibility.

    We still have separate accounts, but we make our decisions together.  We will probably combine finances after the wedding & I think I will become the money manager who makes sure bills get paid on time and stuff like that.

    Post # 15
    Member
    1562 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    My husband manages the money.

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