(Closed) Who decides if a child gets the kids plate?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Who decides who gets the kids plate, assuming they fall within the caterer's age range
    The Bride : (26 votes)
    29 %
    The Child : (0 votes)
    The Parents : (44 votes)
    48 %
    The Caterer : (11 votes)
    12 %
    The Brides/Groom's Parents (becasue they are paying) : (10 votes)
    11 %
  • Post # 3
    3267 posts
    Sugar bee

    @MissFireFlower:  As in the other thread.

    The hosts offer it as an option to the parents.  But I don’t think you can force someone to eat something because of their age.

    You couldn’t force all senior citizens to eat a softer meal, because some of them prefer that.

    Post # 4
    7901 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

    My mom paid for the reception, so she chose to give my aunts (her sisters) kids plates for their kids. The price difference was a lot: $156 for the adult meal, $25 for the kids meal. The only other children were a brother and a sister for whom the brother was just old enough to need an adult meal and the sister had major surgery a year before and had large parts of her intestines removed and has a hard time eating some foods, so if she wanted the fish, by god she was getting the fish. I just lied and told my mom she was too old for the kids meal.

    In general, I think everyone should be involved in the decision. Our kids meal was a cheeseburger and fries… some kids don’t eat that. I asked if there was any way to give the kids smaller portions of the adult meals and the caterer thought I was nuts for even thinking a kid would prefer some steak, risotto, and veggies, or mahi mahi to a cheeseburger, but she clearly doesn’t know the 3 kids in questions because they all would’ve.

    So basically, I think that the hosts should make it clear to the parents of children that their is a kids plate and what it is, but that the parents really should have the right to refuse it and ask for an adult meal… even if that’s not how it worked out for us.

    Post # 5
    9053 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I would say the caterer/host of the event.  Because they’re paying and the caterer makes the rules about what ages are even eligible. However if a parent had actually called me while I was planning to say their 11 year old is hungrier than 3 chicken nuggets will fill I’d probably change it To the adult meal. I wouldn’t really be interested in serving someones three year old an adult size portion of goat cheese stuffed chicken or something but I’d probably assess on a case by case if a parent told me they didn’t think the kids meal would work. 

    Post # 6
    3175 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I would say the parents, though I would never insist a host provide my child a fancy meal (even though he would prefer it & finish it). If a parent requested an adult meal for his/her child, I would try to negotiate with the caterer for a smaller portion & a reduced price.

    Post # 7
    882 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I’d have to go with the bride on this one. The kids meals were $30/plate as opposed to $150/plate for an adult option. Alcohol is also calculated into that price. There was no option to have an adult meal w/o the alcohol fee. 

    I love my nieces and nephews to death, and yes, they do eat Filet and Salmon (our options) at home, but for our wedding, they could decide if they wanted chicken fingers, grilled cheese, or a burger and tons of fries. All their parents were fine with it. We had all of the kids sit at one table, and had the food come out family style, so they could take what they wanted. We also had a candy bar open for the entire wedding—so most of the kids filled up on that anyway! 

    Post # 8
    3569 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I’m kind of on the fence about this,  becuase I think the issue with kids meals is they tend to be very limited. I don’t know what my Brother does at events, but I know he and his wife are extremly healthy when it’s comes to their kids. I think kids food are weddings are very limited and ussally chicken fingers or  worst chicken nuggets.When they would much prefer an child size portion of steak or chicken with mash potatoes and steamed veggies. But I think it’s also rude to demand that your kid get a fancy meal when they might not eat it.

    I not having kids at my wedding, so I’m happy it’s not something we have to worry about.

    Post # 9
    2715 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @andielovesj:  The hosts offer it as an option to the parents.  But I don’t think you can force someone to eat something because of their age.

    ^^^ This.  I think the parents (and children depending on their age) should decide.  Kids are all different and some prefer different foods than others and some need more food than others.  When one of my brothers and several of my cousins were 12, they would not have been full on just a few chicken nuggets and some fries.  However, that was perfectly acceptable to some of my other cousins. 

    Post # 10
    699 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    We only had a few kids (read: 3 plus an infant), so I emailed the parents and told them what the kids meal was and asked if they wanted something different.  They all said their kids would eat anything and they would be happy with the chicken fingers and fries.


    The ringer was one of my university housemates who signed herself up for the kids meal, haha.  The caterer was fine with it, plus it saved me a few bucks 🙂

    Post # 11
    14658 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I’d say the couple and/or host of the event.  The difference is usually huge!  If the kid was under 10 – kids meal.  There was no way I was forking over 50+ bucks for a 4 year old to have a steak dinner, especially if they would LIKE the chicken fingers more!

    Post # 12
    11422 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    I had 13 children at my wedding.  I assigned kids’ meals to all of the younger children (including a handful who were in the two-to-five-year-old range), because, not only did I not think they needed the very expensive surf-and-turf combo plate, I didn’t think any of them likely would eat it. As I recall, for the older kids/tweens/teens, I spoke with the parents to find out what they suggested their children would prefer eating.  My Darling Husband made the decision on behalf of his children and, I think, his sister’s tweens/teens.

    Post # 13
    5271 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2009

    IMO, the host (i.e. the couple) should decide. 

    It would be like taking a kid to a birthday party that had hamburgers or pizza and to tell the parents, no my kid doesn’t like that, cook them a steak. Host decides. 

    Post # 14
    3771 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Whoever is hosting the event

    Post # 15
    10366 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Your caterer will ask you for child vs adult meal numbers before anyone arrives, and will base your final bill on that. Unless you are having people choose entrees on the RSVP card, you’re going to have to make the call for them.

    Post # 16
    1856 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    I said the parents, but within reason. My child (age 9) doesn’t like typical ‘kid’ food (chicken fingers, hamburgers, etc) and we don’t eat that kind of thing anyway very often for health reasons.

    If the ‘kid’ meal is something I wouldn’t serve my child but that she would still enjoy eating as a treat, I’d say nothing about her getting the kid meal. But if it’s something she really doesn’t like and we don’t eat for a variety of reasons, I’d ask if it was possible for her to have an adult meal. If the cost difference was enormous like some of the PPs mentioned, I’d remind my daughter that she eats what she is given and make sure she had a good snack beforehand or that she could eat off my plate if she was still hungry.

    In short, I don’t think it’s fair to force a child to eat gross processed food if she/he doesn’t like it and there is another healthier option, but I also wouldn’t expect for a couple to pay significantly more to feed my child.

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