(Closed) Who decides what kind of precana?

posted 7 years ago in Catholic
Post # 3
Member
1844 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

  I think the two of you can decide which one you want to do. My Fiance and I haven’t gone through this yet, but his brother and SIL did about a year ago. From what I remember, they got to choose. I’m in a similar situation, my Fiance is Catholic and I am not.

Post # 4
Member
3871 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Uhh, me and the Darling Husband decided which precana we wanted to attend. I had the option of an once a week 8 week class or a two day over the weekend class.  I wanted the weekend class because I thought I could get it over with quicker but we ended up choosing the once a week class because Darling Husband couldn’t take off a whole weekend.

I’ve never heard about the priest deciding for you. I think it should be up to you and your Fiance.

Oh, I’m catholic and the Darling Husband is not.

Post # 5
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

My priest gave us the options but let us choose. He was very upfront and said “some are good and some are bad but this one is cheapest.” 🙂 We went with the cheapest option that fit our schedules.

Post # 7
Member
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

dont quote me on this but im pretty sure the decision is up to you.

Pre Cana was a great experience – have fun with it.

p.s. we did the 8 hour and it went by really quickly – they do a little talking and then let you and Fiance discuss and work in workbooks – it brought us even closer together than we already were.

Post # 8
Member
4123 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

We did the weekend engaged encounter retreat. If you search through the Catholic boards there are a TON of raving reviews about it. Usually about 50% of the attendees are not Catholic, so at least in ours it was not “preachy” about Catholic things or theology. It was very much about communication, love, fighting fair, and things having to do with marriage…. not being a Catholic. 

Yes, you are not allowed to sleep together, but you are not “segregated.” In fact, minus about the 6-7 hrs you get for sleep, you are with your Fiance. For ours we had a talk, then we wrote about it, then we were given private time with our FI’s to discuss the talk. You actually probably get as much private time with them as you would if you slept all night together.

In the end. One weekend apart is not horrible and we really both enjoyed the class. We actually spent MORE time together in that weekend than any other weekend. It was “nothing but” us, talking, sharing, being together… no worries about cooking, chores, friends, or wedding plans. It was just…. us.

We had the option to choose between your choices, and we choose the weekend…. and we are very glad we did. 

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