Post # 17
@amazingbee: I did not invite my mom (or my sisters). Unlike some of the others who had no contact, I actually speak with my mom once a week and fly to her twice a year.
My mom supposedly has anxiety about flying. She has flown here before and was even looking for a vacation in the near future in fact. She is really weird with weddings by the way. We were trying to work with her on picking a location that she would feeling comfortable going to. She said to go on without her, she cannot do it, the sky is falling the sky is falling, flying it too scary! UGH.
Then we made plans to go to a different country. Screw everyone – no one was coming to our state so let’s just go far away. We invited H’s parents, but not my family (they couldn’t go anyway, but I did not extend the invitation).
After we made our plans, she asks if she can still come out for her vacation the following month. WTF? You can’t fly in August but you’ll fly in September??? I said no!
Four months after trying to get her to fly for our wedding, she bought a ticket to Florida with my sister for a vacation. Ha! So there you have it – she can fly – but only if it’s a vacation! Not to see her daughter get married, which she did not see the first time either.
Hmm, I guess I’m still irked by this.
Wish me luck I’m flying home in 11 days. Eeep. First time I’ll see my family since I got married.
Post # 18
- Wedding: May 2014 - Paradise Gardens
We don’t plan on inviting my bio-dad. He has not been in my life since I was 3. He is now randomly reaching out—I would say every 5-6 months. We have had a total of 3 awkward convos in the last 3 years and he tries to tell em that a wedding can’t happen until he approves !!! Well he doesn;t even KNOW me to begin with so it can go without saying that his opinion matters NONE!
It would also be very awkward since my whole family dislikes him for taking care of and and running away from his financial and emotional responsibilities as a father!
Post # 19
We’re toying with the idea of not inviting FI’s dad. He was an abusive, alcocholic nightmare of a father to Fiance, then he separated from FI’s mom, got a new girlfriend (who thought he was divorced), actually did divorce her, moved to Canada and married the new woman without telling anyone, the new woman divorced him after finding out that he lied about the original divorce and now he lives somewhere in Washington State with some new woman he’s hiding from Fiance and the rest of his family and only calls a few times a year when he wants to piss and moan about how FI’s mom turned all of his children against him. Class act, huh?
We’re trying to decide which would cause less drama: inviting him and him not showing up (best case) inviting him and him showing up (worst case) or not inviting him and seeing what kind of fit he throws. Any advice?
Post # 20
I’m a waiting bee.. But SO have spoken about this exact topic, I’ve actually spoken about it with his mother too. I won’t be inviting my mother. Not only was she physically, mentally and emotionally abusive to us three kids, but she also allowed her drug dealing bf (who she left my father for) to abuse us too. Mother and her bf have since married and had a daughter, I’ve tried very hard to let the past be the past for my half sister, but my mother insists brings something up and either starts to insist I apologise to her for “making up claims of child abuse, so my father would get full custody of me” (I was 10 at them time mind you) or starts to bad mouth my father, even in his own house that he so politely allows her to use so she can bring her new child to try to bond with the children she left her drug dealing guy for. To be honest with you even thinuking about her makes my skin crawl. My Future Mother-In-Law seems to think that they’ll be drama if I don’t invite my mother, but I haven’t spoken to her in just over a year and have asked my brothers who are in contact with her to not mention anything about me. It’s none of her business what I do as far as I’m concerned.
Post # 21
We invited my parents but they are choosing not to come and have made at least 10 excuses as to why but can get out of all of them. I am so relieved that they are not coming. They are just so dramatic. The wedding will be 10000 times better without them.
Post # 22
I toyed with the idea of not inviting my mother for monthssss, but ended up biting the bullet, and invited her in the long-run. Fortunately she was able to hold herself together for the ceremony and the couple of hours she stayed at the reception, so I don’t regret the decision… however, if I had to do it again, I probably would have just not invited her. She barely said a word to anyone the whole time, and she was non-existent in the getting ready process (she was supposed to come to the bridal suite with us–to get ready herself, and to be there with me/my girls–but ended up staying in her hotel room with her boyfriend, and looking like a hot mess in the process).
Post # 23
We had all of our parents there. However, we had one of DH’s aunt’s (his mom’s sister) not invited, even though the entire rest of the aunts/uncles were invited. To make it more odd, his aunt’s ex-DH and his wife WERE invited. His aunt is a nut, and an alcoholic. Darling Husband is really close with his “uncle” and it was important to have him there. We did not have enough faith that his aunt could behave herself, since she has proven to be untrustworthy in the behavior department on many occasions.
While we were expecting some resistance, thankfully DH’s mom was totally on board. Agreeing that if she had any thought in her mind that her sister wouldn’t cause a scene she’d go to bat for her….but even she couldn’t be sure she’d behave.
Post # 24
We wish we could not invite Mr Scottie’s dad! He’s been nothing but a bad word for 99% of his life. Long story short he’s been the cause of a lot of drama over the years (last time I saw him he had me in tears!) and now he lives overseas. We feel obliged to invite him but kinda want my fsil to have a quiet word telling him not to attend…is that mean?
Post # 25
@amazingbee: We’re not inviting my dad. I haven’t seen or spoken to him in nearly 10 years (by choice). My fiance has never met him. We obviously have no desire to have him there, as my dad has always been a very verbally and emotionally abusive person.
Post # 26
1st off my stepmother and i don’t get along. She is rude and had never had anything nice to say to me. So i told my father that he in no terms was she to be invited if she couldn’t keep here mouth shut.
Post # 27
I’m not inviting my dad and Fiance isn’t inviting his mom.