Post # 17
My mom and I had always planned that she would make my dress, which is what she did for herself and my sister. When I got engaged, it was one of the first things we did — talk patterns and logistics (since I’m in Texas and she’s in Wisconsin). We settled on altering a pattern that combined the details of one of my favorite vintage dresses I’ve ever sold with some of the contemporary wedding dresses I like.
But I had completely neglected to think about my Future Mother-In-Law. She was pretty enthusiastic about me trying on dresses, even if it was just to get an idea of what style I wanted to wear. It snowballed swiftly into this planned outting to try on designer dresses. And I felt like I was being pulled in two very different directions.
In the end, I allowed the situation to build to a point where speaking up was going to end up making someone feel like they “lost,” when I should have just immediately phoned my Future Mother-In-Law and explained the depths of my dress history with my mom.
My sympathies to anyone who who has two people with vested interests and varying opinions on what you should wear.
Post # 18
I went with my fiancee. We recently moved to Bay Area, so I do not know anyone else in the area that would go shopping with me; so either go alone or go with him. I rather go with him since I trust his opinions and he’s been very involved in planning our wedding.
Post # 19
First time, my mom and I.
Second time, my mom and my fmil.
Third time, my fmil and I.
Fourth time, my mom and my bridesmaids.
Fifth time, by myself.
Sixth time, my fmil and I.
Seventh time, by myself.
Eight time, my mom, my fmil, and I.
Lord, I’m glad thats all over! Dress shopping was crazy for me! lol
Post # 20
So far I’ve only been once but I brought my mom, my aunt and my Future Mother-In-Law. The next time we go (in January) I’m bringing those 3, my 2 cousins and my 3 bridesmaids. I would prefer that just my mom and I go but its really important (for some reason) to ALL of them to be there so I’ll deal with it.
Post # 21
I mostly went by myself and loved it! I was able to figure out what I REALLY liked and wanted in a wedding dress. I went a few times with other…my future in-laws, aunt, cousins and BMs. It was nice at times to go with others, but sometimes they have a different idea of what you should wear on your wedding day.
Post # 22
I went with my twin sister, mom, and grandma and it was fabulous! Everyone was so supportive and honored my choices and my likes and dislikes. They gave their honest opinions and were very helpful. Also, it was a great time for my grandma. At the end of the week (we went to 5 shops!) she told me she wish we could do it all over again because it was so much fun. I definitely recommend bringing your grandma 🙂 It was a wonderful bonding experience for the 4 of us.
Post # 23
If you want to go alone, then go alone lol… or take one person with you. Honestly the sales people get so annoyed when you bring a whole group also and will treat you differently, at least they did with me. Completely different story with just one person as opposed to a group of girls, they gave us so much attitude with a group.. just too many opinions and its stressful. It should only be your opinion that matters. Its hard though because everyone wants to come and witness this special time lol, I hated that, I wanted to go alone but my girls wouldnt have that! But I had a much easier time when it was just one person with me.
Post # 24
I went with my grandma, my cousin, my aunt and my sister. I live far away from my family, and we were all together that weekend. I’m SO glad I could go with family. For me, there’s nothing like those family moments.
My grandmother and sister were the most brutal. I pointed out one dress to my sister and she started laughing. She thought I was joking, but I actually really liked it. So that one got nixed.
My grandma didn’t hold back one bit. She actually said one dress looked like a cheap sheet….but she ended up calling the winner! She said it as soon as I put it on..”don’t even bother with the others.”
I think it just depends on what you want. If you want to go alone, go alone. If you want to go with friends, go with friends. Do what you want to make it special.
I do think there is value in having someone who will be honest with you, though. You definitely can’t rely on the salesman for that!
Post # 25
The first time was before I left Philadelphia, and I took my maid of honor. The second time I went alone (we had just moved to Pittsburgh). The third and last time I took my husband, because I wanted the opinion of someone who wasn’t going to make a commission on the sale, and he was the only person I knew here.
Post # 26
The first time i went dress shopping i took my oldest sister alone. She is my best friend and the only person i know who will tell me EXACTLY what she thinks and i need that. The second time i took my mom, my sister and my dad wanted to tag along, which surprised the hell out of me 🙂 i found my dress that time.
Post # 27
Nobody. 21 stores + Over 100 dresses tried on = All by myself. It could’ve been good…But in my case I have to take full responsibility for the confusion, panic and bad judgement that led me to purchase 4 dresses. One of the dresses I just stuffed into my trunk and didn’t even tell anyone until after the wedding because I was so flustered with myself. I had to finally confide in my husband when I found a buyer for it and we had to drive together to meet the girl.
Me: “Err…I’ve been keeping a secret from you”.
DH: (nervous) “???”.
Me: “There’s something horrible in my trunk. I stuffed it there and told noone.”
DH: “A dead body…???!?”
Me: “No..Another wedding dress “
DH: (visibly relieved) “LOL, ok. Since we’ve already established you temporarily lost your mind I won’t say anything else. But you’re never going shopping alone again!”
Post # 28
I should add, If my mom didn’t live 7,000 miles away she’s the only one I would’ve taken. I trust her judgement completely and the insanity would’ve been prevented if she was there.
Post # 29
@meliss:haha, priceless conversation
I went with my mom, one bridesmaid, and bridesmaid’s daughter. it was kindof overwhelming because we were all only saying nice things about every dress.
After one trip to the shops I ended up finding my dress in the classified section here on weddingbee. When my dress arrived my dad and stepmom were over, so they got to see me try it on the first time.
Post # 30
I took my mom! and was very glad I did. I know a lot of ladies take their bridal party and friends but I really didnt want too many opinions confusing me.
Post # 31
I’m an only child and my mom passed away about 10 years ago. Also, at the time I was shopping for my wedding dress, my best friend lived far away! So the first time I went shopping was totally on a whim. I was alone and just wanted to have fun and try on dresses. I tried on about 10, no appointment, and found one I really loved.
Well, I talked about that dress to tons of people and finally, finally one of my friends saw a picture and had a lackluster response. She made me realize the dress wasn’t me at all. Outside perspective helps! I ended up looking for a new dress by searching on the internet and stumbled across a photo of my dress. I knew it was the one. I hunted it down, calling shops all over the country and eventually finding it in a store one state over. I also found out (finally) I could order it in my hometown for $500 less, but I’d have to buy it without trying it on. So I drove to the store one state over with an old friend who is also a wedding photographer, and she took pictures and I knew the dress was for me. We pretended at the end that I wasn’t sure about it, and I went to my hometown and got measured and ordered it alone!
My dress experience worked well for me. But when I watch SYTTD, I often break out in tears. I think shopping alone and online with just a couple of outside comments was fine, but I would have loved to have that moment with my mom or some girlfriends in a store where we magically find “the one.” I think so often about my crazy mother and how she used to talk about my wedding day ALL THE TIME. She would have driven me CRAZY and would have hated everything I liked, and I would have hated everything she liked, but once we found the one, it would’ve been so nice to share that moment with her…
Yes, an old friend came with me, but I had already picked out the dress and done so much research on my own that she said, “I have no comments, it’s obviously perfect.” That doesn’t really count, you know?