Post # 1
I would like to know who accompanied you all on your first dress shopping experience?! I just had a rather long, and emotional, conversation with my mother about this. I could tell that she was a little upset when I said I had invited my future mother in law to come dress shopping along with my Maid/Matron of Honor. I understand where she is coming from, I am her ONLY daughter, but I honestly didn’t think she would be upset by it. After we talked it out everything is completely fine between us, but I really do want to know who is expected to come and who isn’t? I feel that my mother, Maid/Matron of Honor, and future mother in law was perfectly normal! Thoughts?
Post # 3
My two bridesmaids who are local (there’s a third who isn’t local) came with me the first few times. My mom and Future Mother-In-Law came for the same weekend and we went again and I heppened to find my dress then, but no one was mad that I had gone before.
Post # 4
I went alone, but that’s b/c I had NO idea what I wanted and wasn’t going to the bridal shops first. I went to vintage stores and resale shops. If I were doing the whole big bridal shop thing, I would think that just mom is appropriate. Did she explain why she was upset about Future Mother-In-Law coming?
I can see how she might be hurt that she has to share the experience that many mother spend their daughters childhoods dreaming of. Especially if you’re her only child.
If you’ve already invited Future Mother-In-Law, don’t retract the invite- that would cause more tension. Does your Future Mother-In-Law have daughters? If not, you could tell your Mom that it may be FMIL’s only chance to experience something like this and wouldn’t it be nice to give her that experience?
And maybe be sure to do something extra special with your mom only, like pick out jewelry just with her. Or only take her to your hair trial.
Post # 5
@bells219: She does have two daughters, which I think added to my mom’s frustration. But in response, I am marrying her ONLY son. So I feel that having her there is special as well
I guess I just want a fun and exciting first dress shopping experience (which I explained to my mom) and mom my pictured a more intimate experience.
Post # 6
I took my mother who was in town at the time and my brother’s girlfriend so she could try on a wedding dress (they plan on getting married in less than a year). When I pick up my finished dress, I am taking my Future Mother-In-Law and Future Sister-In-Law since my mom isn’t in town.
Post # 7
I really do see both sides. Did your Future Mother-In-Law ask to go, or did you volunteer? Either way, what’s done is done, and I don’t think you were in the wrong. Maybe you could grab a fancy brunch with just your mom the morning of, and bring some magazines to “brainstorm,” even if you already know what you want. It might help your mom feel like she gets a little more “you,” time on a day that’s obviously important to her.
Post # 8
@bells219: That is SUCH a great idea. Thank you. I really should do something with her the morning of just to reinforce that fact…Not like my mom is needy, she completely understands where I am coming from after we talked about it. But I think that would be a very special gesture.
And to answer your other question, no, my Future Mother-In-Law did not ask. I asked her to come and I truely do want her there. Yes, I do think she might have been a little upset had I not offered but she is not the type of person to ever say anything because she respects the fact that is my wedding. I did think about it for a few weeks prior to asking her so I did put thought into the situation. I have a great relationship with my FMIL (as I do with my own mom) and I want them both there along with my Maid/Matron of Honor.
Post # 9
I took my mom and my Maid/Matron of Honor. I actually got my dress the first [and obviously only] time I went looking. I later showed my Future Mother-In-Law, and she said it was beautiful. I don’t think she minded that I didn’t ask her. I’m glad I took who I did, especially now that my Maid/Matron of Honor has now moved to the complete other side of the country.
Post # 10
I think your Future Mother-In-Law and Maid/Matron of Honor are perfectly fine to have there along with your mum… I am the only girl and had just my mum and Maid/Matron of Honor. I personally would not invite my Future Mother-In-Law, but that is only due to the type of relationship we have. I can see why your mum would be upset, but from the sounds of it she is getting too upset about it. She doesnt have you exclusively, she needs to learn to share this experience (along with others in the future) with other people.
Post # 11
I just took my mom…sadly I moved away from all my friends in December 🙁 Would have liked to have my maids, but oh well!
Post # 12
I went alone! And to be honest.. I LOVED IT! I think when I finally get my dress I will go alone, and buy it on the spot. . 🙂
Post # 13
The first time I ever went, it was just me and my mom. 🙂
Post # 14
well i went browsing for fun a couple weeks ago with one of my bridesmaids, didn’t go to try anything on, i really want my mum to come on my first proper dress shopping experience though
Post # 15
I brought just my mom. My Future Mother-In-Law was working, one of my bridesmaids was working and not going to be available to go anytime soon and my other bridesmaid (my sister) lives in Georgia, and since we are a bit behind the pace planning for a Sept. wedding I wanted to go ASAP.
Post # 16
When I went dress shopping my Future Mother-In-Law lived 15 hours away. My mom passed away, so I brought my Dad, my Maid/Matron of Honor (who is my SIL), my niece (a BM), and my two flower girls (one is my niece and the other is my great niece). We were done in about 2 hours, and I went with the first dress I tried on, you know the only one that made my Dad tear up. He’s a great person to take dress shopping!!
I did text my Future Mother-In-Law a pic of me in the dress before we even left the store.