Who didn't go ring shopping prior to proposal?

posted 1 year ago in Rings
Post # 2
9436 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

It’s not a bad sign but I’ve seen enough posts with women hating their engagement ring that I would encourage couples to just shop for the ring together.

Plus what I thought I liked online ending up not at all being what I liked in person.

But if you aren’t picky and want it to be a surprise that’s a perfectly fine way to do things.

Post # 3
3144 posts
Sugar bee

I do think it’s helpful to try on rings, even if you go solo or order some cheap costume rings from Amazon.  

I know so many women who were surprised to discover they hated a certain style after trying it on… either they thought it was unflattering or they thought it was uncomfortable. One of my friends was convinced she wanted a huge marquise cut, but once she tried one on, she didn’t like the way it felt on her finger.  Some women hate the way pave stones feel between their fingers or can’t tolerate knife-edge bands.  

In my social circle, it’s pretty uncommon to be surprised with a ring.  Usually it’s chosen in advance or the proposal is done with a stand-in item (necklace, ring, bracelet) and the ring is chosen afterwards.  

Post # 4
3740 posts
Sugar bee

We didn’t. Never talked about rings at all… I’m not at all particular though. We’d had a couple convos about getting engaged so I thought a proposal was on the horizon but I wasn’t involved in the ring buying at all …which I was fine with!

Post # 6
567 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2021

We didn’t go shopping at all. I think it’s perhaps more common here because this community also has a thriving ring forum? You’ll notice there is a lot of discussions on rings and many of the ladies here are like ring experts. I don’t think it’s necessarily representative of the average, in that regard. 

I did tell him what kind of rings I liked, though. For me it was really simple…solitaire, rose gold, no pave or extra stuff. If you are picky or know there’s something super specific you want, it would be a good idea to go shopping or at least make sure he knows your preference. 

Post # 8
728 posts
Busy bee

We haven’t (not engaged yet), but I’m getting a family diamond, so I don’t get much say. Luckily I love vintage jewelry so fingers crossed it’s a nice one. 

woth my first engagement, though, I was surprised. I sent him actual pictures of what I wanted and he still didn’t get it right. I never loved it. 

Post # 9
276 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

We picked out the ring together after he proposed. He was smart enough to know I would want to choose my own ring. You don’t need to have a ring to propose!!

Post # 10
1057 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

We went ring shopping together after he proposed. I don’t think I know anyone who bought the ring together before the proposal (although certainly know women who let their boyfriends know their style). Seems more common in the US than the UK to shop beforehand and then be kept waiting. 

Post # 11
3750 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

We didn’t go ring shopping before the proposal. I told him that I wanted a diamond ring. I left it completely up to him. He did look in my jewelry box to try to get an idea of style and to get my size which was sweet of him. 

Post # 12
1460 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2021 - Australia

I’m not sure if this counts, but we never shopped together. I didn’t actually try anything on until after I showed my partner my Pinterest board of rings and explained what I liked about them, and he didn’t come with me to browse. I got pretty nervous after that because a lot of designs similar to what I’d shown him looked clunky and not so great on me, but I wasn’t sure if he’d already bought something so I didn’t want to say anything.

Luckily, of all the features I showed him, he picked up on the most important one and chose a ring that incorporated that. It’s a lot more timeless and classic than what I’d been looking at, and on reflection is the perfect blend of our personal styles.

From my experience, I’d say not having shopped together shouldn’t be a worry, assuming you’ve spoken about the kind of thing you’d like, or he has a trusted source he could ask (although my fiance didn’t).

And if there is a feature you wouldn’t have chosen yourself, perhaps this will become the part you love about it most of all, as it is a reflection of him that you get to carry with you every day.

Post # 13
429 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
@snicole:  my proposal was a surprise and he wanted me to have what I wanted so he did not propose with a ring. If he has asked for your ring size then he most likely is looking for a ring and I would just hint about maybe going ring shopping together if you care about what you’re going to receive. My fiancé and I have two totally different tastes when it comes to jewelry and there have been numerous women on this website who have really hated their rings and some men who have been really upset about her wanting to change her ring. This would be a conversation I would have with him sooner than later before anything is purchased. 

Post # 14
714 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
@snicole:  I think it’s more common on weddingbee than in real life. Most people I know did not go ring shopping together and opted to be surprised. I do, however, think it would Be unusual to not talk about what you generally like (shape, style, halo, size, etc) so that your future fiance has an idea of what you like! But I don’t mean unusual in a negative way, I just mean I think it’s uncommon for most, as most at least have somewhat of an idea of what they want.

Only you know yourself and your fiance though and I think it’s totally fine to be completely blind if you think it will work for you guys. Does he know your tastes? Do you have similar styles/fashion senses? Has he ever bought you jewelry before and did you like it? I would ask yourself these questions and if you still are comfortable going in blind, then go for it! 

There is something romantic about your guy spending the time to really look and pick out something that he thinks you will love. And it would be a true surprise! 

Post # 15
1658 posts
Bumble bee

I’ve had a few proposals.  And never with a ring. We picked rings together at a later time 

I would have been happy with a ring proposal so long as it wasn’t hideous. But it is a nice thing to share. 

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