Who didn't go ring shopping prior to proposal?

posted 1 year ago in Rings
Post # 31
Member
1528 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

No ring shopping here! started out with a passed down ring (still have) and upgraded later on with a ring I picked (spouse was set on doing this from the beginning)

Post # 32
Member
7991 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

my mom gave me a choice of 3 of my grandmother’s diamonds and asked which one i wanted. she gave that ring to my husband to use the diamond and trade the rest of the setting towards my setting.

i gave my husband a few pictures of elements that i liked in erings.  he was having the ring designed.  at one point the jeweler wanted to ask me questions for clarification.  i told my husband the designing of the ring was up to him and use his best judgement based on the pictures i showed him.

my ring was exacctly what i envisioned.

Post # 33
Member
49 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2013 - Brighton victorua

 I didn’t ring shop however we hadn’t been together for long when my husband proposed. 

I made an off the cuff comment one day about my Nans engagement ring. A princess cut 1ct with pave diamonds down the side the top around the diamonds in white gold the underside of the ring in yellow gold. I liked the ring and the way it looked. 

I think it may have been the last time he paid attention to a random comment i had made randomly. 

I have a princess cut 1ct with pave diamond but all white gold because as he said you wear silver and yellow gold doesn’t suit your skin tone. 

When my nan passed my sister got her engagement ring but I dont mind because I had my own and was gifted another beautiful sapphire and diamond ring of my nans.  

Post # 34
Member
16 posts
Newbee

We didn’t shop together, and I didn’t love what he picked out. He had asked some of my family and friends what I liked beforehand and they didn’t give him the best advice. Shortly after the proposal, when we took the original ring to get sized, we looked at different setting styles and stone shapes and ended up changing it out for a completely different ring. In retrospect, I probably should have kept his original diamond and just asked for a different setting, because the decision to exchange it continues to haunt me from time to time. But what we ended up taking home was gorgeous and more versatile, and I was happier with it!

Post # 35
Member
708 posts
Busy bee

I didn’t ever go with him, but I told my fiance that I liked rose gold and round/oval morganites. I told him a peachy/pink gemstone was super important to me and that I didn’t want a clear stone. I never tried rings on myself, but I know I liked rounds and ovals after trying on engagement rings for my sister, with her then boyfriend. I also have a morganite necklace from my grandmother and just loved the idea of it in a ring. He went ring shopping with my sister, and they got my ring. It was still a total suprise to me, even though we were starting to talk about having our wedding the next year.

Post # 36
Member
2747 posts
Sugar bee

I was totally surprised when he presented me with a family sapphire/diamond ring. I hadn’t seen that coming!

Post # 37
Member
188 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2021 - Chicago, IL

Nope. Mine was an heirloom ring. I also don’t understand the allure of shopping for a ring together– that should be a part of the surprise!

Post # 38
Member
3085 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

View original reply
@snicole:  I don’t think there’s any red flag with not going ring shopping before becoming engaged. I think if you were on the receiving end of a proposal and you had no idea it was coming is a bad sign. But that’s less to do with the ring and more to do with the relationship.

Post # 39
Member
89 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Did not go ring shopping together. I just sent him a bunch of pictures of rings I loved and he custom designed one (with A LOT of help from the jewelry store) and I LOVE it. 

Considering changing out the center stone to it mainly because I’ve seen what a great cut can do for a diamond but I’m not entirely sure if I want to. 

Post # 40
Member
117 posts
Blushing bee

No joint ring shopping for us. However, I had occasionally been vocal about rings that happened to come up in conversation or were on tv/magazines etc- I suggested that my ideal would be something very feminine and floral. My fiancé knows me very well and knows I like anything that is a bit different and quirky. He also remembers things too which helps! 

Post # 41
Member
42 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2020

We didn’t! My fiance thought it would be weird/he was pretty traditional I guess. He did ask me what kind of ring I would want and I said round or oval solitaire, but wasn’t fussed on anything specific.

In hindsight I should have at least gone to try on rings even by myself to see what looked good on me, instead of giving him some vague ideas based on what i saw in photos, because I did end up getting the setting changed 5 months later (which he was supportive of). That being said, I haven’t really worn rings in my everyday life before so I didn’t have many references to draw on in the first place!

I definitely don’t think ring shopping together is necessary though or a bad sign if you don’t, but i do think it’s helpful to have a good idea on both what you like and what flatters you (if that’s important – my fingers are kinda chubby haha) 🙂 

Post # 42
Member
1769 posts
Buzzing bee

Not a bad sign at all.  Before we got engaged, my hubby and I knew what I liked (solitaire) and he went on his own and got the diamond sourced from the jeweler.  We never went to a jewelry store together to look at rings. He has great taste and got me exactly what I wanted and I’m sure he did look a lot online too and did a lot of research because that’s just the type of person he is.  And he knows me very well.

Post # 43
Member
13916 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I thought I had posted on this thread. We never shopped for rings together. I would have imagined a proposal beforehand in that case. H knew my taste in broad terms from conversations he steered to what I liked and didn’t like about friend’s rings and did a great job. 

Post # 44
Member
9 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2021

We went together and I picked out my ring myself. I wanted something pretty specific and the jewelry store we went to was in a different state, but the main reason I took the lead is that my husband HATES picking out gifts (of any kind) for everyone. He finds it so stressful and was so relieved that he didn’t have to worry about buying the wrong thing. So for us, it was a way to make sure I had something I loved that really took the pressure off of him. I think it’s something that really depends on the couple – I know people who’ve done everything from a total surprise, to picking out either the setting or stone together but leaving the decision on the other to the guy, to what H and I did. As long as both of you are happy that’s all that matters! But I will say trying on rings in person is super helpful to get an idea of what you like on your hand. I realized a super dainty band (which I’d originally loved) looked out of proportion on me and ended up going with something a bit thicker.

Post # 45
Member
141 posts
Blushing bee

Im a UK bee, and its not really discussed in that way over here, like choosing a ring together, or even knowing his going  to propose. Everyone I know, its was a surprise and their FH picked the ring.

Mine was a total surprise, designs of rings etc was never discussed. Im quite old fashioned that way, I want it to be a surprise.

My ring ia stunning! and what makes it more beautiful (to me) is that my FH went out and chose it himself! I don’t wear ANY jewellery, so he had nothing to compare it to, nor ring sizes. He went by the size of his mums fingers and actually got it spot on.

I was never worried about getting a ring I didn’t like, my FH is a very traditional man and we have very similar taste. 

I think even if the ring wasn’t to my liking, the fact that he chose it would weigh out everything and make me grow to love it. 

I’ve been engaged 9m now and still spend most days staring at it 😍 

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