Who didn't go ring shopping prior to proposal?

posted 1 year ago in Rings
Post # 46
178 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

It was 100% a surprise to me when he proposed! The only thing I had ever mentioned about a ring (like 5 years before he proposed) was that I wanted 3 diamonds with the center one being a little bit larger. And nothing big or expensive as I’d rather that money go towards something we actually needed. 🙂


Post # 47
233 posts
Helper bee

I didn’t for my first marriage, he knew what I liked and did it all by himself. And he did well. But we were young so it was a small and simple ring. This time around I’m more involved because my SO knows nothing about diamonds and wants my help. And I love having a say in it!

Post # 49
29 posts
  • Wedding: July 2021

UK/Swede-couple here:

When my boyfriend got a new job quite recently he brought up that he wanted to propose soon and he wanted me to pick out a ring. He said that if I was one of those women who only care for Diamond-size he’d be happy to set a budget and just get the biggest stone he could afford – but since I value other things in a ring he wanted me to pick it myself.

We booked our wedding about six weeks ago – so we’re already engaged… but we still want to put on a bit of a show and have the proposal as the official time of engagement.

We didn’t go ring shopping, though. My ring isn’t sold anywhere in the UK, so it’ll be ordered straight from the designer’s website instead. So while I know how the ring looks – the how, when and where will still be a romantic surprise. I think – and hope – before Christmas.

Post # 50
331 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2021

View original reply
@snicole:  In some ways I’m jealous you’re so laid back about it! I do have some ideas of what ring I want and my boyfriend basically WILL NOT discuss it with me. It clearly makes him feel super weird and he has said he doesn’t really like the idea of a girl basically picking out her own ring. I think he feels it takes away some of the oomph and to him seems weird for her to pick out her ring and know so much beforehand, but to me I’m thinking that if he’s investing a chunk of money in a tiny object let’s be sure about the choice, and if it’s something I’m wearing for the rest of my LIFE, let’s make sure I like it. I’ve tried to drop hints about a couple things but omg it’s like pulling teeth and I can tell he doesn’t like talking about it, but I think he needs a bit of a nudge (although it’s also possible he HAS started looking around and doesn’t want to give it away; he CAN be sneaky when he wants to, but on the other hand he isn’t really romantic or creative). He has random moments where he is surprisingly traditional/old fashioned, lol.

I think even with being laid back, I would at least consider – would he already know your preference of metal color? General size of stone? Gemstone/diamond/diamond alternative? For example, the hints I dropped to my boyfriend are that I do NOT like 3 stone rings, what I think an appropriate price is (1500-2500), and that I don’t like the drama/strife/marketing around diamonds, personally. To me, that is still far from enough info, but maybe for you such things could be a good idea? My brother thinks his girlfriend may very well be ‘the one’ but said she doesn’t really wear jewelry so it’s hard to get an idea of her style, so it may be helpful for them to eventually talk a little so he can get some clues. I also want to mention moissanite and halos to my boyfriend, haha, and at least have already outlined what I like to my mom, best friend, and brother that I’m super close with. At that point I’d be pretty content I think.

If he has an idea of metal color, stone, and general size/vibe (such as glitzy and big, or tiny, or unique), that could be enough! And some people like to play a bigger role and actually help design the ring. 


EDIT: I see I’m a bit late to the convo and some of my post is irrelevant now! So excited for you!!

Post # 51
950 posts
Busy bee

We went once to T&Co. He said the rings I liked were too small. 🤦🏻‍♀️When I asked him to show me his taste he showed me a $55k ring. I showed him the price and he almost passed away. 

I ended up with a very nice Tacori set that fit his budget. 

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