Post # 1
Member
925 posts
Busy bee
Bees: I was just surprised by my bridesmaids with a bachelorette TRIP to VEGAS!!! (Vegas is one of my favorite places on earth, and I have had some incredible, crazy experiences there.)
Anyway, with how much they’re putting into the bachelorette, I don’t want to ask for a shower. I mean, showers are pretty much just for presents, correct (Feel free to correct me if I’m wrong regarding that.)
Did you not have a shower? Do you think I should not have one?
Post # 3
Member
3755 posts
Honey bee
My friend refused to have one because she’s been living on her own for so long and didn’t need anything. We threw her a little impromptu brunch anyway.
You don’t really ask for a shower, they will decide if they want to throw you one and just plan it. You can tell them NOT to if you don’t want them to. I think you should just let them do what they are going to do. If they throw you one, great, if not, no big deal, right?
Post # 4
Member
925 posts
Busy bee
@jny1179: Exactly! I can’t wait to pay them back for Vegas with our bridesmaid luncheon and mani/pedis. I don’t need no stinkin’ shower 🙂
Post # 5
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
You can ask your Mom for help with this, like get an Aunt or a friend of your mom’s to host it. Most of the weddings I’ve been in had showers thrown by older family members or friends of the mom. My mom passed and I had already moved, so my Mother-In-Law threw my shower with my Aunt. Only one person from my wedding party was there, one of my cousins. She had nothing to do with the planning or execution of the shower.
Post # 6
Member
1064 posts
Bumble bee
We’ve insisted on no shower. All of our friends and family are out of town anyways, so it seemed super inappropriate to ask them to fly to an event that is 100% gift collection.
My office generally throws a small shower for folks who are getting married, so I wouldn’t be shocked if I got a little work shower.
Post # 7
Member
925 posts
Busy bee
@HisIrishPrincess: My mom has also passed, so thank you for the alternatives. My Future Mother-In-Law is paying for our rehearsal dinner (which I already feel bad enough for… there will be almost 30 people there :-/), so I honestly hope she doesn’t offer that, too. I know my step-mom wanted to do something for me, but she (and the rest of my family) live out-of-state, so I wasn’t expecting anything… which is totally fine with me!
@jdhall89: Ah, this is my situation to a T. My family members (and some of my bridal party) are already spending an insane amount to fly out to Colorado and all the expenses that go along with a trip, so I’m not the least bit upset that I’m not getting a shower. I just wanted to see who else was in my boat 🙂
Post # 8
Member
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
@jwdesiree: you shouldn’t ask anyone to throw you a shower. So if no one offers, you simply don’t get one.
Post # 9
Member
4893 posts
Honey bee
I’m eloping/having a private wedding (as in, my own mother won’t even be there) so the only person I could actually invite to a shower would be myself.
Post # 10
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
Yea my Mother-In-Law insisted we have one, we weren’t even registered for anything we had everything already. It was mostly to meet his family that I hadn’t met yet… which was fine. Good for you, and I’m glad your BM’s are so great.
Post # 11
Member
480 posts
Helper bee
Since most the people I would want to invite are out of state, I didn’t even think about a shower. Well, I remember I got really cranky and depressed after I went to FSIL’s shower because I most likely wasn’t going to get one, but then I got over it. But my Maid/Matron of Honor has been bugging me for months to let her throw one for me, even if it’s small and a few days before the wedding, and even if it will be mostly the groom’s family in attendance. She just wants to throw me a shower, which is sweet. But if she wasn’t so adamant about it, I would not be having one.
Post # 12
Member
1797 posts
Buzzing bee
I’m not really planning on having either. I’m most likely not going to have a bridal party, so I may go out to dinner or wine tasting with some close friends if I feel the need, but I won’t consider it a bachelorette party. I don’t like showers for the same reason that a PP mentioned. SO and I already live together, and we have an apartment full of things that we specifically picked out and love. We don’t have enough space to house a popcorn machine, six sets of dishes, etc. that someone else liked. I also hate being the center of attention and receiving gifts.
Post # 13
Member
9917 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
I can’t vote in your poll. I did not have a shower, and I don’t care. I did have a bachelorette party, and it was awesome! I don’t regret not having a shower, and I don’t regret having a bachelorette party.
Post # 14
Member
535 posts
Busy bee
We’re having a small wedding and most of the local guests are already helping with my wedding, so I cant invite them to a shower. Everyone else is out of state so I can’t ask them to drive 10+ hours to give me a gift. My church family has been asking when my shower is, but if I’m not inviting them to the wedding I can’t very ask them to give me a gift anyway. It sucks, I’d love to have one, but I chose to have a small wedding and therefore have to accept there are some consequences of that decision.