who do I ask? Please help!!

posted 2 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
4023 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - Canada

I had a hard time choosing my bridal party too. I would go with your sister, and middle distance friend 1 & 2, as well as your new friend. From what I read, those are the people you are closest with to this day, so it makes the most sense to want them around you on your day!

Post # 3
Hostess
4572 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

View original reply
BirdyBe :  Just pick the people you are closest to now, whether that is one or 15.  I also asked one of my newer friends to be in our wedding, and she did not think it was weird at all (she now refers to me as her best friend).  No need to have matching sides either!  As for you friend who has been in a lot of weddings lately – I totally feel her, I have been too, and one was a total ‘zilla that I complained endlessly about.  Though I’m very glad to be getting a break from being a bridesmaid at the moment, I would still happily be a bridesmaid for a close friend if asked.  

Post # 4
Member
631 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2018

I didn’t have a bridal party at all, and that is very common in my circle. I consider myself to be an older bride, I was 28 when I got married, and it just didn’t seem relevant. My closest girlfriends still helped me set up, we still went out for dinner and drinks a couple nights before hand, but none of us needed the “bridesmaid” title to help our friends out!! Also, my husband and I wanted to be the only ones standing up while getting married. I know I am 100% in the minority, I just don’t get bridesmaids; on this forum especially, it always seems to cause nothing but drama and hurt feelings!

Post # 5
Member
653 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: London, UK

Pick the people you are closest to and want there. I think you’re overthinking this. Just because they are family isn’t a good reason to pick them, and only having known them a short length of time isn’t a reason not to.

3 is not excessive, and even if you had picked an ‘excessive’ number, it’s not your mum’s place to judge what that is. I’m having 8, which people like to make comments about, but quite frankly if their issue is that I have too many close friends, then I can live with that.

In terms of your childhood friend who lives a long way away, that is why you ask if someone wants to be a bridesmaid, rather than telling them they are a bridesmaid. Let her decide if she wants to do it, rather than deciding for her that it’s a burden. She’s free to say no if she thinks it might be.

From what you’ve said, I would ask all of them except your sister in law.

Post # 7
Member
495 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2019

I also don’t think having a matching number of bridesmaids and groomsmen is that big of a deal. I’m having 5 bridesmaids and my fiance is having 3 groomsmen. Photos and such will look nice no matter what.

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